Topless voters, nothing up their sleeves…

Blog Guy, I notice you provided full coverage of the Costa Rica elections over the weekend, but not the voting in Ukraine. How about some news from there?

Sure, okay. From looking quickly through our photo file, I guess people voted.

Is that one of those places where they put blue ink on  your finger, to make sure you don’t vote twice?

No, it seems their system is, you take your shirt off when you vote, so you can’t vote twice. I believe it’s the voting system Hugh Hefner designed.

Appreciating other cultures….

Blog Guy, you seem to think you’re an entertainment blogger, but all you cover is American stuff. Other countries DO have movies and television as well.

I happen to know the German Bambi media awards were held recently. How about paying some attention to those?

You make a very good point. Here are some photos of people on the red carpet at those awards.

Who appraised it, Bernie Madoff?

Okay, this is the point we’ve come to in America.

We are told in a bunch of captions that this is a $3 million bra, but we are given no clue as to why it costs at least two and a half million dollars more than a regular bra.

Here are some possible reasons for that price tag, but these are only wild guesses…

Can I hold that for ya, Miss?

Blog Guy, I really need some dating advice. I’m an attractive young woman but I’m very shy, and when I meet a new man for the first time I just don’t know what to say. Help!

This is a very common problem. Some women find it useful to be holding something in their hand when they first meet a new guy, to help get the conversation started.

You know, something the guy will have to comment on. Do you have anything like that?

Yes! I love my picture of Lenin!

Watch out! Number four is gonna blow!

Blog Guy, I’m curious about the psychology of fashion models. Do they just wear anything they’re given, or do they have strong personal feelings about the creations?

That is a very astute question. Usually, a model wears any piece of rancid garbage some nutjob designer wraps around her wispy body.

On the left here, you can see a couple of examples from yesterday.

One model doesn’t seem to mind having a black face with white spots, and a jacket with bat wings. Another seems fine with a blouse made from packing twine and coat hangers.

Nobody wants to see exposed fashion models!

Okay Lonnie, we took you on as an intern during Paris Fashion Week because what the hell, you were willing to work for free just to meet the models.******But Lon, we assigned you a VERY simple task, just to wash the tops for each outfit, and what happened?******Every one of them shrank drastically, leaving the models fully exposed on the runway! You think anybody wants to see that?******Lonnie, I’m sure this was just an accident, but we did warn you that heat shrinks fabric. So what did you do wrong?******Really? Washed them repeatedly all night long in a steam room, huh, and then dried them over a Weber grill?******Well gee, that sounds like an innocent mistake to me, Lon…***

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******Models present creations by designer Gareth Pugh as part of his Spring/Summer 2010 women’s collection during Paris Fashion Week, September 30, 2009. REUTERS/Jacky Naegelen***

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Wanna come back to MY place, human?

Blog Guy, I’m a hip young single guy, and I need some dating advice.

You’ve sure come to the right place. I can pretend I know all about that stuff.

I go to singles bars, and sometimes chicks will say, “You want to come back to my place?” But I don’t always know if I should.

We can find her for you, George!

Blog Guy, what do you think it’s like being George Clooney? I bet it’s pretty neat!

You have a real way with words, stranger. I’m guessing “pretty neat” is accurate.

Take these shots of Clooney arriving by speedboat in Venice yesterday. It was like in the 90s in Italy, but he’s totally fresh looking.

Actually, it was in the mid-70s in Italy. You’re probably thinking of India.

You’ve reached the firm of Ponce, Bonache and Gotcha!

Blog Guy, do you stand behind the info in your photo captions? Is there a chance anybody ever pulls a fast one on you?

We do our best to check information, but my own personal suspicion is that sometimes people in Spain are having a laugh at my expense.

Can you give some examples?

Presenting the Quickini!

Blog Guy, I’m hoping you can help me out with a fashion dilemma.

I’m a gal who likes wearing a comfy bikini on a sun-drenched beach vacation. But if there’s a really hunky guy there, I want to look my natural best, which includes enhancing my swimsuit with padding to make my you-know-whats look big.

Your feet?