Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Is this the best job on earth, or what?

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HUNGARY

Blog Guy, it seems like mostly you write about jobs to avoid. How about some positive career advice? Aren’t there any GREAT jobs out there?

You bet, and here I’m talking especially to you men. Every major fashion show employs a Chest Checker, and if you can score one of these jobs, you’re set for life.

fashion perv 260Chest Checker? What does he do?

He’s responsible for sticking his hand down every model’s dress to make sure everything is, you know, in order down there.

Are you serious? What qualifications would I need for a job like that?

You need very good hand/eye coordination, and you must test negative for poison ivy.

My March Madness: best of the month

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I got the March traffic stats showing the most popular items  for this blog, and the trend continues. Readers flocked to the more educational posts offering information they can use.

march best 240Like, you know, careers to avoid, how to spot a government Death Panel when it comes for you, places with bad public toilets, and so on.

I’d like to thank my strap that didn’t break

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USA/SHOWEST

Blog Guy, last year you had several posts about a supposed new fashion trend in which portions of a woman’s anatomy had to be covered up with her own hand, if you take my meaning.

fashion breast combo 180Did this ever catch on? Out here in Akron we haven’t seen too much of  it since you wrote about it, but it’s time for the missus to get a new dress, and she was wondering should she go that route?

Topless voters, nothing up their sleeves…

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Blog Guy, I notice you provided full coverage of the Costa Rica elections over the weekend, but not the voting in Ukraine. How about some news from there?

kiev censor 4verticalSure, okay. From looking quickly through our photo file, I guess people voted.

Is that one of those places where they put blue ink on  your finger, to make sure you don’t vote twice?

Appreciating other cultures….

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Blog Guy, you seem to think you’re an entertainment blogger, but all you cover is American stuff. Other countries DO have movies and television as well.

I happen to know the German Bambi media awards were held recently. How about paying some attention to those?

Who appraised it, Bernie Madoff?

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Okay, this is the point we’ve come to in America.

We are told in a bunch of captions that this is a $3 million bra, but we are given no clue as to why it costs at least two and a half million dollars more than a regular bra.

Here are some possible reasons for that price tag, but these are only wild guesses…

Can I hold that for ya, Miss?

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Blog Guy, I really need some dating advice. I’m an attractive young woman but I’m very shy, and when I meet a new man for the first time I just don’t know what to say. Help!

This is a very common problem. Some women find it useful to be holding something in their hand when they first meet a new guy, to help get the conversation started.

Watch out! Number four is gonna blow!

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Blog Guy, I’m curious about the psychology of fashion models. Do they just wear anything they’re given, or do they have strong personal feelings about the creations?

That is a very astute question. Usually, a model wears any piece of rancid garbage some nutjob designer wraps around her wispy body.

Nobody wants to see exposed fashion models!

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Okay Lonnie, we took you on as an intern during Paris Fashion Week because what the hell, you were willing to work for free just to meet the models.******But Lon, we assigned you a VERY simple task, just to wash the tops for each outfit, and what happened?******Every one of them shrank drastically, leaving the models fully exposed on the runway! You think anybody wants to see that?******Lonnie, I’m sure this was just an accident, but we did warn you that heat shrinks fabric. So what did you do wrong?******Really? Washed them repeatedly all night long in a steam room, huh, and then dried them over a Weber grill?******Well gee, that sounds like an innocent mistake to me, Lon…***

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******Models present creations by designer Gareth Pugh as part of his Spring/Summer 2010 women’s collection during Paris Fashion Week, September 30, 2009. REUTERS/Jacky Naegelen***

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Wanna come back to MY place, human?

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Blog Guy, I’m a hip young single guy, and I need some dating advice.

You’ve sure come to the right place. I can pretend I know all about that stuff.

I go to singles bars, and sometimes chicks will say, “You want to come back to my place?” But I don’t always know if I should.