Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The stage is comin’ with a duchess on it!

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Crap, Willy, what now? What is this thing taking us into town?

It’s a stagecoach, Duchess! Great, huh?  Conestoga wagon, prairie schooner, buckboard…

Shut up. They don’t have big limousines in Calgary?

Not so much, I guess.

Sigh. What’s on our schedule for day number 840 in Canada?

Uh, let’s see. Hey, it looks like we’re taking part in some kind of a Village People retrospective…

Jeez Louise, Willy! I thought it was gonna be FUN being the Queen!

I’ve told you, you’re not the Queen, sweetheart.

Willy, why is that man holding out that white hat?

Um, I think that’s in case you’re going to lose your lunch after the bumpy stagecoach ride…

Well, they’re very thoughtful here, I’ll say that for them…

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Top: Britain’s Prince William and his wife Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, arrive on a stagecoach wearing cowboy hats for a Canadian government reception in Calgary, Alberta, July 7, 2011.   REUTERS/Phil Noble

I can fix this one up real good, Duchess!

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Blog Guy, I know you have close ties to Britain’s royal family, so maybe you can answer a question. Why are Prince William and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, spending so much time in Canada?

I’m really not supposed to say.

Look, we’ve been through this before. If you put it in your blog, nobody will even see it.

How much can one duchess take?

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Blog Guy, you wrote about Prince William and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, watching a bagpiper a few days ago during their visit to Canada.

From what I’ve seen, they are being subjected to a lot of that.

Very true, and nobody has studied the effects of prolonged bagpipe exposure on normal people. In this photo above, taken yesterday, it appears Catherine is starting to crack.

William, what year is it here?

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Blog Guy, I’ve been reading your stories about Britain’s Prince William and Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, and their visit to Canada. With her incredible fashion sense, I’m guessing she must really be dazzling those Canadians.

Well, they don’t quite know what to make of her modern outfits, since your typical Canadian still dresses kind of turn-of-the-century.

We’ve got fresh Kate, direct from Canada!

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Blog Guy, I have a complaint. Kate Middleton has been in Canada for several days now and you’ve written nothing about it, even though some of your readers are seriously addicted to her.

Look, I no longer actually cover stories, but I’m a professional, so I can wing it by looking at our photo file. Here you go.

Let me regalia with a story…

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Needless to say, we’re very excited about the big unveiling, Lamar. We hired you to design military uniforms for our newly independent country because of your reputation.

As the very best?

No, as the very cheapest. So let’s see what you’ve come up with.

Wow! I LOVE it! Braid, epaulets, sashes, brass buckles, kilts, spats, doodads, frippery, geegaws…

Big trouble when the chips are down?

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Oh Dear Lord, tell me this isn’t happening!

I just wanted to watch some tennis, so I called the boss on our busiest day of the year and said I was sick with projectile vomiting, impacted wisdom teeth, temporary insanity and a fever of 106…

Then I got to my seat, and who’s right in front of me? The fricking PRIME MINISTER!

You betcha those British are comin’!

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Blog Guy, I’m surprised you didn’t get involved in the Sarah Palin thing a couple of days ago, when she told her goofy version of Paul Revere’s ride.

Yeah, I do have to admit that was the best video clip I’ve seen since Miss South Carolina immortalized herself a few years ago.

Michelle, it’s time for a royal goof-o-rama!

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“So here we are, sweetie, we’re about to meet the Queen of England.”

“Pretty cool, Barack. I’ll bet you fifty bucks you don’t have the guts to make a goofy face at her.”

When life is just a beer commercial…

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Advertising staff, today we’re here to honor Lamar, whose work on the Guinness Stout account has been pure genius!

Gosh, thanks, Boss. You’re much too kind…

Not at all, Lamar. Who would have thought you could get photos of Barack and Michelle Obama, Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip boldly showing Guinness Stout, all in less than a week?