Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Then the queen says to this fishmonger…

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I say, my good man, are you the local fishmonger?

You’ve come to the right plaice, your majesty. I’m the o-fish-al monger!

Well, I must say, there is a vile odor here!

You smelt something bad? Say, did you come to carp, or are you here just for the halibut? Get it? Halibut? I got a million of ‘em!

One gathers you must be some sort of village simpleton, laughing at jokes such as those.

You could be right, your majesty. I’ll mullet over.

Now see here! I am growing very angry!

I’m not doing it on porpoise, your highness. It’s probably just your minnow-pause.

It’s called the sport of kings, your majesty

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Blog Guy, you haven’t written much about Britain’s royal family since the big wedding. Please fill us in on their activities this week.

Well, Queen Elizabeth, who loves horses, watched the Preakness. Here she is enjoying the thrilling spectacle, smiling because she’s happy to see a woman jockey in the lead.

There’s got to be a morning after…

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Blog Guy, it’s me again. That guy you got hooked on Kate Middleton pictures. What do you have for me today?

Are you serious? We gave you 62,000 photos of her yesterday. Give the woman some peace. Give me some peace, too.

That’s what a royal wedding looks like

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Okay, I know when I’ve lost. I had planned to avoid doing anything on the Big Event today because why should my blog look like all the rest?

But many readers have said they couldn’t find stuff about the wedding anywhere else, and they’ve begged me for fresh pictures and details, so I guess I’ll have to pander just a bit.

If you run out of REAL wedding news…

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Blog Guy, that royal wedding is getting really close now, so how about some more of your expertise? I believe you mentioned a royal carriage would be used for Prince William and Kate?

Absolutely, and here you can see the regal vehicle, with the royal couple riding around in it for practice.

In a jam with the royal ma’am?

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Blog Guy, you have to help me. That royal wedding is in two days, and I don’t know how to act around the queen! Our invite hasn’t arrived yet, but we live in rural Indiana, and mail takes a while to get here.

Um, could you even get from Indiana to England in time?

I think we could if we went first class, which I believe goes faster.

Ah, of course. Well, you’re in luck. We’ve just run yet another etiquette piece, specifically advising lower class losers on how to behave around royalty.

Unstabled threat at royal wedding?

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BRITAIN-WEDDING/

So Blog Guy, I don’t understand why you’re devoting so much time to that wedding with Kate Middleton and that guy she’s marrying. It doesn’t seem like your kind of thing.

BRITAIN/It wasn’t, but now it is. Let’s just say maybe I think it’s going to be more eventful than some folks expect.

The Clampetts are here, Your Majesty…

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BRITAIN/

It turns out when Kate Middleton marries Britain’s Prince William in a couple of weeks, her family is going to stay someplace called the Goring Hotel while they are in London. It may be part of the Econo Lodge chain, but I could be wrong.

BRITAIN/These photos above and below show where William’s family lives, and on the right you can see the itty-bitty place where the Middletons will be.

A fresh supply of Kate hits the streets…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, it’s me. One of the junkies you got hooked on Prince William’s fiancĂ©e, Kate Middleton.

kate tape this 300There’s word going around the streets that a fresh supply of Kate photos has been smuggled in, maybe from Mexico…

Life can be a royal pane?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I know you must have a lot of inside information about the upcoming royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. The security around them must be incredible. Where could they possibly be finding privacy? Do you know?

kate window 260Yes, but I’m not sure how to tell you without also leaking it to a lot of other people.