Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

The best TV crime show on the heir?

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crime queen this 490

Okay, you know why we’re here. We owe the network one more high-concept police procedural to match our earlier hits, “Police Pope” and “Monkey See, Monkey Blue.”

crime queen 240So who’s got an idea for us to pitch? Lamar?

Well Boss, the public just can’t get enough of those crime scene  forensic science shows.

Right Lamar, but they’ve all been done. Every possible gimmick has been used already.

All but one, Boss. Picture it.There’s a grisly murder in foggy London, Scotland Yard is totally baffled, and who do they call in? The Queen of England!

Earn big money with a familiar face?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I notice you wrote about a Joe DiMaggio lookalike yesterday.

The lookalike game intrigues me. Can you provide some details, so I can see if I might want to pursue a career at that?

faux wedding vertical 220Sure, but who do you look like?

Me? Nobody yet, but I figured I’d take some courses or something.

Well, I think it helps if nature gives you a head start.

Like see, the people in these photos here look like Prince William and his fiancée, Kate Middleton, so they’re in for a great ride, eating free fried chicken at places that comp meals for members of the royal family.

Shape up with our new regal regimen!

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BRITAIN/

Man, I gotta say, that was just creepy!

queen gym vertical 100What was, Lamar?

Are you kidding, Clancy? You didn’t see who was just here?

No, I was watching that Lady Gaga video on the big screen. Who was it?

Queen Elizabeth.

She was NOT!

Was too!

That IS strange. I don’t think she’s even a member here! What did she do?

She told me this machine is “jolly good for one’s quadriceps.”

Dispensing with Kate Middleton

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pez faces 490

Blog Guy, now that Prince William’s royal wedding is less than a month away, what’s the strangest souvenir you’ve seen so far?

AUSTRIA/That would be this set of PEZ dispensers, one of which features the prince. The candy comes out where it usually does, I guess.

A yarn about a close-knit family?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I have some questions about that upcoming royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton. Can you help?

wedding combo 240You bet. One-stop shopping here, All Kate, all the time.

That’s great! I heard there will be a royal carriage used in the wedding, and I’m concerned about whether the harnesses will be clean enough.

Is the cavalry back with those doughnuts?

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BRITAIN/

EMILY! How is our checking account overdrawn? What the hell did you buy?

Shut your cake hole, Herb! That stuff is for household expenses, every bit of it. Maybe you need to get a raise down at the plant!

BRITAIN/Let me just see that budget, Emily. Food, gasoline, rent, cavalry, medical… Wait just a minute. Cavalry, $2.4 million for February? But what do they DO?

You could almost pass for Prince Charles!

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BRITAIN/

Ma, you wanted to see me?

Did you say MA? That is how you refer to the Queen of England now?

Sorry Ma, I meant Your Royal Highness, you wanted to see me?

Yes. We are very displeased! We have seen a popular blog using photos of you looking, how shall one describe it, GOOFY!

frame charles 340Yeah, Your Royal Highness, whenever I make a goofy face, they put me in that blog. I don’t even have to pay for it!

I’m not a princess, but I play one on TV

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kate actress combo

Blog Guy, it’s me, the dude who’s addicted to Prince William’s fiancée, Kate Middleton. I need another fix.

Sorry pal, she hasn’t been out in public recently. I can’t help you.

Souvenirs: Selling Kate by the crate?

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kate snerd 490

Blog Guy, I see they’re churning out all kinds of memorabilia in advance of Britain’s royal wedding next month.

kate face 280I’ll bet it will really sell, considering Kate Middleton is so popular and beautiful. Have any artists done an especially unusual job of capturing the charms of this lovely young woman?

Batter Up!

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kate pancake combo 490

Blog Guy, I know you’ve helped others with their photo collections, and I hope you can do the same for me. I collect photos of famous people flipping pancakes.

USA-POLITICS/OBAMAThat’s awesome. How many do you have?

More than 1,800, going back to a daguerreotype of Robert E. Lee flipping some in the mess tent at Gettysburg. So can you help me?