Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

When the peasants are running in Piccadilly Circus…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, you  promised to tell us what those British royals are up to. Well? Let’s hear it!

Sorry, I’ve been busy. This is peasant-hunting season over there, and the royals…

BRITAIN/You mean PHEASANT-hunting season, right?

No, every February the royal family gets to hunt actual peasants. But only with a bow and arrow, and the shooter must be blindfolded, as  you can see in this photo of Prince William.

I had no idea. Still, I guess if you’re out there in a forest blindfolded, how much damage can you do?

Some mushy peas in my handbag, please!

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Okay staff, you’re aware of our public relations challenge.

We want to soften Queen Elizabeth’s image as a mega-rich monarch with lots of castles and jewels, and make her appear to be more like, you know, your average grandma.

BRITAIN/We’re kicking it off today by having her take a normal train ride someplace, just like anybody else would do.

Feel like carry-out from Earth tonight, honey?

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I have great news, my fellow Neptunians! Our intelligence agents tell us that after  more than 50 years of service, Britain’s Defence Ministry has shut down its UFO investigation unit, saying it can no longer justify the cost.

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The Ministry said such investigations are an “inappropriate” use of resources, which are needed instead for the war in Afghanistan. I swear I am not making this up, fellow Neptunians.

Later on, we’ll conspire…

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Blog Guy, thanks to your readers, by now most people are aware of a major plot involving prominent people like Brad Pitt, Jake LaMotta, Madonna, Salma Hayek…

Members of their secret society identify themselves to each other by wearing distinctive white hats, as you have shown repeatedly.

Goodnight, sweet prince…

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Blog Guy, recently your readers voted overwhelmingly that Prince Charles is the coolest world leader. In light of that, can you give us more news about him? Maybe something like that Queen for a Day thing you did on his mother?

I guess so. The problem is, Charles doesn’t seem to do much. We sent a camera out and what we got back was this combo, taken over a span from noon to 6 p.m., showing Charles trying to get comfy for a nap in his Royal Bed.

I say, Camilla, do we have a COUPON?

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Ever since my readers voted Prince Charles the “Coolest Leader Dude,” it seems to me he’s doing more “normal” stuff in public.

Like yesterday Charles the Prince of Wales and his typical average wife, Camilla the Duchess of Cornwall, visited a grocery.

I hope there are some bulls on his “death panel”

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Blog Guy, what’s the humane situation in Britain? They really love their animals, right? But so like what if you’re a Brit person and you really have this urge to be cruel to animals? Is that a problem?

You can go fox hunting, though that’s a little more difficult these days.

A winner in the duel for cool…

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There’s no point keeping you in suspense any longer.

Our week-long scientific reader poll is over, and by overwhelming majority you selected Britain’s Prince Charles as the Coolest Leader Dude, beating U.S. President Barack Obama and Russia’s Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

Here you see an emotional Charles hearing the good news today and letting it sink in. Actually these may be photos of some other events, but I imagine he looked pretty much like this.

Who’s too cool for school?

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I comb through stories, photos and video from all over the world to bring you the news you need, and lately I am noticing a definite trend.

The world’s important dudes are fighting a nonstop battle for the coolest image.

It’s your turn to be snarky!

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Blog Guy, some of us readers were noticing you never take a day off. You post stuff constantly.

I can’t take time off. There’s too much goofy stuff in the world. If I let my guard down, it’s the end of life as we know it.