Blog Guy, I heard it was another rough day for the revelers at the running of the bulls.

You bet. Despite the fact that a bunch of runners had already been injured at the Animal Cruelty Festival in Pamplona, one of them fatally, they were off and running again yesterday, with other serious injuries.

Wow. Was there any single low-point?

I was particulary taken by this photo of a guy passing a cigarette to another guy. If you need a smoke when bulls are rampaging through the streets, you may have a problem.

Okay, but I know there must be moments of bravery, too, aren’t there?

Sure. There was Capuchino, the bull who killed one runner and gored three others.

Awesome! I bet he has a place of honor for being such a fearsome fighter! What happened to Capuchino?

He was the first one killed by a matador in the afternoon bullfights.

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Above: A festival goer passes a cigarette during the running of the bulls at the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, July 12, 2009.  REUTERS/Eloy Alonso

Left: Runners are chased by Miura fighting bulls, July 12, 2009. REUTERS/ Susana Vera

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Blog Guy, I’ve been following your coverage of that San Fermin festival over there in Pamplona. So who’s winning?

Sadly the bulls always lose in the end, but I must say they’ve had a pretty good couple of days. In a four-minute running of the bulls today, several people were injured and one runner was killed.

Meanwhile, over at the bull ring, hotshot bullfighter El Cid had a real embarrassing experience.

Check out the photo below. What’s interesting about it is, it’s the only one of a whole series that I can actually use here. Thanks to some pinpoint horn work by this bull, the crotch on the bullfighter’s silly outfit was ripped open, leaving all of his male parts fully exposed to the crowd.

And while it’s not really for me to judge, it didn’t look all that impressive, either.

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A runner is tossed by a Jandilla fighting bull in the running of the bulls at the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, July 10, 2009. One runner (not in picture) died and several people were injured in the run.REUTERS/Eloy Alonso

Spanish bullfighter Manuel Jesus “El Cid” is lifted up by the bull’s horn at the San Fermin festival in Pamplona July 9, 2009. REUTERS/Eloy Alonso

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Blog Guy, I was very interested in your report yesterday on the San Fermin festival, in Spain. May I ask a question about it?

Sure. I know quite a bit about the festival.

Well, I was wondering what it looks like if someone uses a phone at the festival.

Good question! I think it would look something like this photo here.

Very interesting. One more thing. If the woman in that photo was a long-lost love child of actor Dick Van Dyke, calling to say “Daddy, it’s your daughter, I’m running with the bulls at Pamplona!” What would his reaction look like?

It would probably resemble the picture below.

Thanks, Blog Guy. Your resources are simply amazing! I didn’t think you’d be able to pull that one off.

Well, I did get very lucky with that telephone shot.

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Above: Woman talks on the phone during the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, Spain, July 7, 2009. REUTERS/Susana Vera

Right: Actor Dick Van Dyke reacts as he sits courtside at Game 1 of the NBA Western Conference final basketball playoff game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the Denver Nuggets in Los Angeles, May 19, 2009. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson

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Blog Guy, you do a wonderful job of keeping us up on what the elite are doing. Where is the Smart Set this week, so we can once again envy the lush life?

There’s only one place to find the Beautiful People this week, awash in a sea of red scarves at the San Fermin festival in Spain!

It’s time to run with the bulls, but it’s also a time for chic parties. As you can see here, the Beautiful People are out in force, enjoying fine local food and wine.

You know, I notice that the Beautiful People seem to be doing a lot of retching and puking.

What did you expect? You asked about the lush life, and I gave you lushes.

All of your captions always refer to these people as “revelers.” What does that mean?

I believe the definition of reveler is “somebody you’d never give your real phone number to.”

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Above: Assorted revelers: REUTERS photos

Left: A drunk reveler kneels on the ground as he tries to enter a building before the first day of the running of the bulls during the San Fermin festival in Pamplona, July 7, 2009. REUTERS /Susana Vera

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Oh crap, what have I done? I’m pretty sure this is about the time that bull is supposed to be dead.

I KNOW I shouldn’t be riding upside-down on his back, hanging onto these pointy things while idiots laugh at me from the stands.

I should’ve listened to my guidance counselor who wanted me to go into TV repair. But I said, “No, I REALLY want to wear pink socks!”

I thought guys were supposed to rush out to help me! Those “machine gunadors” are supposed to save me!

And where are the flame-throweradors? Is that just a joke they play on new matadors?”

Why didn’t I just call in sick and go out for sangria with that cute senorita who sells flan?

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Spanish bullfighter Jose Tomas is tossed by a bull during a bullfight in Barcelona, July 5, 2009. REUTERS/ Carlos Cazalis

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Judy Benjamin: I think they sent me to the wrong place.
Capt. Lewis: Uh-huh.
Judy Benjamin: See, I did join the army, but I joined a *different* army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms…

As a film buff, I hate lame remakes of classic movies more than anything. Well, more than anything except for dumb fashions, bullfighting, brussels sprouts, gyrocopters, clothing on dogs, Adolf Hitler…

Anyway, it appears now they’re remaking that 1980 Goldie Hawn movie “Private Benjamin,” about a spoiled rich woman who joins the army. But I’m keeping an open mind on this one, just because the casting is inspired!

Pure genius! Hire Paris Hilton, and cast her in the role she was born to play!

I’m no pushover, but one look at this studio publicity shot below and I was doubled over with tequila spurting out of my nose.

If they can just nail the part of Captain Lewis, played so brilliantly by Eileen Brennan in the original, this could be the come-from-nowhere Oscar surprise of the year. I’m pushing German Chancellor Angela Merkel for the captain role. Who’s with me?

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Above: Screen grab from “Private Benjamin.”

Below: Paris Hilton poses with members of the UCLA Reserve Officers Training Corps cadets at the First Ladies of Africa Health Summit gala in Beverly Hills, California April 21, 2009. REUTERS/ Mario Anzuoni

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This time of year I get lots of queries from college seniors asking for career advice.

Often they say, “Bobby, are there any signs I can look for that might indicate I’ve chosen the wrong career?”

Sure, there are quite a few, and you’d be smart to read my past CAREERS posts. But here are a couple of new thoughts:

• If you’re moving at a high rate of speed and there’s a huge fuming bull chasing you, and you’re not drunk and you’re not in Pamplona, then your career counselor owes you or your widow an apology.
• If the ground is moving under you and you seem to be  hanging onto a big sharp horn, and you can feel hot nostril snorts on your leg and there’s a hole in the butt of your fancy purple jammies, maybe you should have thought twice before majoring in Creative Writing and Film Studies.

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Above: Spanish bullfighter Rafaelillo runs after being tackled by a bull in Seville, April 20, 2009.

Below: Spanish bullfighter Sergio Aguilar is tackled by a bull in Seville, April 21, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Marcelo del Pozo

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Blog Guy, you write a lot about bullfighting, so you’re probably aware the new season has begun. How about giving us some behind-the-scenes stuff that most people don’t know about the tradition and pageantry of the sport?

Okay but remember, technically bullfighting isn’t a sport, it’s a ”sport”. In the photo below, matadors and their assistants are performing the “paseillo” before starting a bullfight.

My Spanish is very rusty, but I believe “paseillo” means walking around the ring cleaning up cigarette butts and bull poop.

That’s interesting. I wasn’t aware the matadors had to do such menial stuff.

Who else is gonna do it? When you put on funny outfits and torture animals to death for a living you’ve pretty much hit rock bottom already.

What about this other photo, with the capes?

The matadors are having a picnic. They’re looking for a good place to spread out their pink blankets where maybe the bulls won’t find them right away, so they can enjoy some tasteless flan.

Gosh, the way you describe it, it loses a lot of its romance.

Good.

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Above: Spanish matadors and their assistants warm up before starting a bullfight at The Maestranza bull ring in Seville, April 12, 2009.

Below: Spanish matadors and their assistants perform the “paseillo” before starting a bullfight at the ring.

REUTERS photos by Marcelo del Pozo

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Blog Guy, I hate to complain, but you used to do a much better job of covering really stupid sports for your readers. Aren’t there any hot new sports trends that are extremely dumb?

I’ll try to do better. Do you know about Jersey Sports?

Are those just sports in New Jersey?

No, they’re regular games but everybody has to wear their jersey or shirt in a way that makes it hard to see and maneuver. It’s enjoying a burst of popularity in soccer and tennis.

Thank you! I feel like I’m in on a new thing, and I can impress my friends. Do you think jersey sports will be confined to soccer and tennis?

Nope. There are plans for a Jersey Indy 500 and a Jersey Kentucky Derby. And I’m eagerly awaiting Jersey Bullfighting.

Amazing! Are there any Jersey Sports we aren’t likely to see on the networks anytime soon?

Yeah. Women’s Jersey Sports. Those are only on cable.

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Above: Moenchengladbach’s goalie Logan Bailly covers his face with his jersey in Germany, April 11, 2009. REUTERS/Wolfgang Rattay

Below: Recent REUTERS photos of Jersey sports.

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This is the exciting moment we’ve been waiting for. The envelope, please? And the 2009 Parents of the Year award goes to…

Here is a video report about an 11-year-old matador who killed SIX young bulls, despite opposition from child protection and anti-bullfighting groups.

The kid gets his name in Guinness, and the young bulls get zip.

But the coveted Parents of the Year award is actually shared this time, between the mini- matador’s folks, and the parents who reportedly took their children to witness this bloodfest.

“Hey, honey! It says here some kid is gonna torture six bulls to death with large fondue forks! Grab the little guys, it’s showtime!”

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