Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Could any bull resist that face?

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, I really admire your attitude. I read your blog every day, and you have something nice to say about everyone. I just wish I could have such a generous heart. How do you do it?

GERMANY/The trick is to have inner fricking peace. I mean, you need to realize that every human being is one of God’s creatures, and that…  OMG! Look at that dumbass bullfighter!

Excuse me, Blog Guy? You were saying something about inner peace?

How pompous do you have to BE to make a face like that? If there’s any justice in the world they’ll be sucking him up with a Wet Vac in Pamplona….

Er, I guess we all drift from the righteous path now and then, Blog Guy. But the main point is that…

Looking at scars in ze boolfighter bars

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SPAIN/

A reader writes in, “Bob, you know a lot about bullfighting. What I wonder is, what do those bullfighters do to unwind after the fights?”

That is a good question. They are a very competitive bunch, and they tend to gather at matador bars for sugary cocktails and uncomfortable chit-chat. Let’s listen in…

Next, I’ll snap myself with a towel…

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Blog Guy, your coverage of stupid sports has fallen off. Isn’t anybody out there competing in such stupid classics as Appliance Golf, Tear Gas Tennis and Pottybuilding?

Your timing is perfect. The International Self-Pranking Olympics are now underway in Germany. All those cruel, thoughtless practical jokes that dumbasses usually pull on other people, they do to themselves at these Olympics.

I theenk my wife, she is calling me!

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, the other day you explained that it’s perfectly okay to root for the bull at a bullfight. So what else can we do to help even the odds?

TAIWAN/I’m glad you asked. Check out this matador who was gored by a bull during a fight. He’s surrounded by his so-called “assistants.”

On the horns of a dilemma?

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, may I get a little serious here?

I really wish you wouldn’t.

root bull vertical 260Thanks. Last week when you wrote about El Señor Magoo, the matador with bad eyesight, some of the commenters mentioned going to bullfights and rooting for the bull. Is that allowed?

Yes, I’m sure it must be. What possible logic could there be in only allowing folks to root for the matador?

A short-sighted strategy in the bull ring?

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SPAIN-BULLFIGHTING/

Blog Guy, I’ve never seen a bullfighter wearing glasses. Does that mean torturing animals to death in public is good for one’s eyesight?

Wow, that’s some really twisted logic there, stranger. No, bullfighters just tend to be extremely vain. I mean, who else would dress the way they do?

Ten jobs you’ll avoid if you’re smart

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A reader writes, “Bob, I’m looking for a career, but I get bored reading all the fine print in online job postings. Are there any shortcuts?”

jobs combo 200 this oneWell sure. What you do is set up a filter so that job descriptions containing certain words or phrases just don’t show up at all, thus freeing up much more of your time for watching “Starsky and Hutch” reruns. The trick is to block just the right stuff, so use my list, which is based on years of career advice.

The place to go when you really NEED to pull a head off!

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I  just don’t get it about Spain. Those people over there only seem to be entertained if they’re doing something twisted to animals, live or dead.

I’ve blogged endlessly about bullfighting, the sport of psychopaths, and about those louts who run with the bulls in Pamplona. The bulls never catch a break in either of those activities.

Hi, I’m your hamburger helper…

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Readers know I blog a lot about bullfighting, because, well, it’s a very easy target that ridicules itself with very little help from me.

Defenders of the “sport” then send comments telling me how very brave the bullfighters are, staring death in the face and so on.

Brussels sprout farmers, you are under arrest!

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Blog Guy, I’ve heard a very disturbing rumor about you. Please say it isn’t true.

It’s a complete lie! What is it, anyway?

That after a couple of years of blogging about stuff you dislike, you’re finally making your move.