Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I know you’ve said bullfighting isn’t a wise career choice for college seniors, but the profession still intrigues me. Isn’t there anything in the pointless animal torture field that might suit me?
Look, there’s more to a career than silly outfits. You might consider becoming a creepador. As you can see in this photo, this furtive fellow works in the shadows, irritating the bull with whispered slurs and insults, mostly recycled Don Rickles material.
The creepador gets the bull so furious that it doesn’t notice the sniperdor, way up in the bleachers, who shoots the animal with a high-powered rifle just as the bullfighter is about to stick those pointed things in it. But remember, the creepador is like the vice president. If something happens to the real bullfighter, guess who gets an instant promotion?
Welcome to a feature we call “Euphemisms in the News.” The genuine photo caption here tells us “people try to avoid a bull which was set loose in the town center…as part of yearly celebrations…”
Um, do these folks not have access to the news? Doesn’t it seem a better way to avoid the bull would be to NOT come downtown that day?
We have a story about a breeder of fighting bulls who plans to clone his best stud. The stud sired two bulls that impressed a famous bullfighter named El Juli so much that we’re told he “keeps their heads mounted at home.”
Excuse me? Where I’m from, we don’t say, ”That’s a real impressive dog you have there, Judy! I’d like to hang its head in my rec room.”
Who could have guessed that the next big trend would be nun-matador bars? But here they are, wildly successful – at least, you know, in cities that have both nuns and matadors. Of course, you may have different ideas about what’s going on in this photo. Try your hand at a clever caption, and send it our way via Post a Comment.
You come here often? Nuns talk to Spanish assistant bullfighters before the start of a bullfight at Pamplona’s bullring on the last day of the San Fermin festival July 14, 2006. REUTERS/Susana Vera
An unsuspecting tourist smiles, unaware that hooligans have just dropped a large black beanbag onto his head. Still, that’s nothing compared with the surprise he’s about to get, when that big wooden gate opens. Let’s all watch what happens….
Or, maybe something else altogether different is happening in this newsphoto. Drop us your best captions via Post a Comment.
Okay, maybe this isn’t Superman. Maybe this is an illustration showing how bulls would design a piñata, if they had access to papier mache and possessed good small motor skills. Or maybe you can think of a better explanation of what’s going on here, and send it to us via Post a Comment.
A ‘recortador’ jumps over a wild cow during a show in Pamplona July 8, 2006. REUTERS/Eloy Alonso