Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Call it a tokin’ effort?

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Lamar, get in my office! Are you the one who approved the permit for those people to hold a huge Global Marijuana March in the streets here over the weekend?

Aren’t you aware that some folks blame marijuana for things like difficulty in concentrating, slowed reaction time and altered time perception? I can’t believe you let them march!

Wait. What did you ask me, Boss?

Lamar! I asked if you were the one who…

I’ll be right there, Boss.

You ARE here, Lamar. Is this your signature?

Is it my what?

Their route took them right through the annual Snack Food Festival, along with an outdoor french-fry-eating competition!

Do I have to tell you what happened then? So what do you have to say, Lamar?

Wait. What did you ask me, Boss?

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Top: A man smokes a large joint before The Global Marijuana March in Toronto, May 7, 2011. Demonstrators took part in a march to support the legalization of marijuana. REUTERS/Mark Blinch

The cigarettes are in the cabinet?

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smoking minister 490

Quick quiz: The politician puffing away in this photo is…

smoking canadian 260a) Going to be grounded if her mom catches her smoking again…

b) Not likely to be the first stop on “Take Your Child to Parliament Day”

c) The star of a one-woman stage tribute to legendary musician Roy Orbison

d) A senior Canadian cabinet minister

Congratulations if you guessed d). She is the International Cooperation Minister for Canada. Really.

Are we the meat in a goofy sandwich?

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canada mexico poutine 490

Don’t look now, but the U.S. is surrounded. Mexico went goofy in 2010, and Canada went even goofier.

G8/This is serious. These are our closest neighbors to the north and south, but don’t ask me which is which. I guess I need a map.

It’s me! The guy wishing you well!

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Lamar, we need to talk. You seem to be gone a lot lately. You took that temp job as an archbishop

quaid well wishers 300That’s over, Boss. They don’t pay their archbishops as much as I expected.

Is he really worth whacking, Boss?

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quaid face 490

Okay, fellow Star Whackers, the reason for this emergency secret meeting is, we have a problem. A big one. Some guy seems to have found out about us, and he’s making statements to the media. Lamar, have you dug up anything on him?

quaid combo 320Yeah Boss, he’s an actor named Randy Quaid. He and his wife have requested asylum in Canada to protect themselves from us. They say other stars have been murdered, and now we’re after them.

Time to get manly, Stanley!

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macho putin 490

Welcome back to our very popular TV reality series, “Let’s get Virile, Cyril!” where we randomly look in on world leaders to check their testosterone level.

macho harper 260Okay, let’s use our Man-Cam to zoom in on some top leaders. Shhhhhh, remember, they don’t know we’re coming.

Then when I was six, we went to a zoo…

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USA/

Blog Guy, I’m starting to get scared about this Apocalypse thing you keep writing about. A few days ago it was people trying to auction off embalming tools used on Elvis Presley. What next? Can the signs get any worse than that?

USA/Indeed they can, and they have.

Oh my God! There’s another sign? What have you seen now? Don’t sugar-coat it!

Going beyond routine poutine cuisine

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poutine champ 490

Blog Guy, since Canada just hosted the world leaders and spent a fortune to present a good face to the world, I was wondering if they used the opportunity to promote that popular Canadian dish you’ve written about?

You mean poutine, the dish consisting of french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy ,which they eat in Canada and almost nowhere else.

Welcome to the “Not So Great Lakes”

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fake lake crop 490

Blog Guy, I really envy you working journalists. I just saw a picture of the view from the press center at that G20 Summit up in Toronto, and it’s gorgeous! A waterfall and a lake? How do you get any work done?

G20/Well first, I don’t ever get much work done. And second, if you take a look at a wider angle you’ll see that this is just a still photo projected on a big-screen television at the press center. The “lake” is a shallow indoor pool surrounded by canoes and Adirondack chairs.

I have to put that in my MOUTH?

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Blog Guy, I follow the exciting world of competitive eating – you know, like that Wing Bowl and stuff like that. But I was baffled to see a reference to the “World Poutine Eating Championship.” What on earth is Poutine?

CANADA/Thanks a lot for asking. Now I’m going to have nightmares again. Poutine is a dish consisting of french fries covered in cheese curds and gravy. They eat it up there in Canada.