Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
“Yo, Lamar! Our team just won a hockey game! Let’s celebrate!”
“I have an idea, Lonnie, let’s be total dumbasses and loot a liquor store!”
“That’s a GREAT idea, Lamar!
After all, there was no way we could have anticipated that we’d win, and actually bought some booze in advance.”
“True enough, Lonnie! Besides, we’re WAY too stupid to have jobs, so since we couldn’t have bought our own booze anyway, we have every right to steal it from this shop!”
Come on, Blog Guy, it’s like May 1st. Time to tell us your 10 most popular blog posts for April, so we can collect on our bar bets!
Yeah, okay, I’m just opening the sealed envelope from the firm that does the official tally. Wow! Turns out, the number one item was my report on the lavish festivities celebrating the 10,000th member of my Facebook blog network.
It is dusk in the cabin. The door opens and a brawny lumberjack enters the bedroom, tossing his mighty ax in the corner.
He gazes at a sultry young woman in the bed. She is clad only in flannel pajamas, woolen mittens and a hat with fur earflaps pulled down.
Blog Guy, I see the foreign ministers from the G8 nations just met up in Canada. I guess with the world situation, they had lots to talk about, right?
Probably, but they didn’t get a chance to communicate much.
No? Why not?
Because their Canadian hosts served taffy. Maple taffy. After a few bites their teeth were gooey and sticking shut, and they could barely mumble.
Blog Guy, I read that the Canadians are thinking of changing their national anthem, to make it gender-neutral. That sounds extreme. How sexist could their anthem be, anyway?
You be the judge. Here are the lyrics:
Our home and native land!
Girls in the kitchen, to give their moms a hand,
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
Thee bake thine bumbleberry pies,
From far and wide, O Canada,
We cook and clean for thee
Blog Guy, at the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, it seems like the Olympic Flame was under-played. You know, they used to carry a torch all the way around the world, and it was a big deal.
I agree with you. This year, some guy just sat there and talked into a phone, and then flames came out of an electric gizmo.
The traffic statistics are in for January, the first month of the new, slightly more educational, grown-up version of this blog, and clearly readers are coming along for the ride.
This is the best story of the year, so far.
It turns out The Beaver, a venerable history magazine in Canada, is changing its name because of the unintended sexual connotation, which has caused it to become snagged in Internet filters and has turned off potential readers.
I guess back in 1920 when the magazine was founded, a you-know-what was called something else.
Blog Guy, I know you hate all those photos of people starved for attention, who take icy “polar bear” swims in the winter. But I heard that during one of those swims, in Canada…
Let me stop you right there. It’s true, the fabled Eugene “Toilethead” Johnson made a surprise appearance, arriving at the beach by swimming up through a public toilet. A very dirty public toilet, it seems.