Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You commoners drink this crap?

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Okay gang, you all know the deal. We’ve actually persuaded Prince Charles to endorse our brand of coffee for a TV commercial!Yeah, he said it’s only Canada so nobody will see it anywhere important, and he can use a few extra bucks.It’s a real advertising coup, but we only get one take, so it has to be perfect the first time.Now, the prince is going to just be walking along doing prince stuff, and ask for a cup of our coffee. He’ll try it, and then give us a big smile of delight.Oh my God! This is our one take? This is supposed to make people buy this crap?Well, we’ve paid for it so we have to use it, but at least edit out that last few seconds where he drops to his knees and spews his lunch on the crowd.

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Britain’s Prince Charles samples naturally grown coffee in traditional farmer’s market, at the Evergreen Brick Works Restoration site, in Toronto November 6, 2009. REUTERS/Fred Thornhill

More stuff from Oddly Enough

More Bozos blasting off?

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Hey Blog Guy, I saw a photo of some clowns having a news conference. What was that about?

Were they from Homeland Security?

No! These were REAL clowns! Make-up and everything!

I think they were saying who they want to send to space, since that Canadian clown went up and back.

Space: the final novelty shop?

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Okay comrades, it was partly my idea to send a billionaire Canadian jokester into space to make us a few extra rubles. Now, just two days into the flight, I admit it was a horrible mistake.

It was bad enough when Guy Laliberte put on a red clown nose with his space suit, and it got worse when he made us stop the countdown at six seconds, screaming, “I need to do number two!”

Are you SURE that’s Stallone’s bathroom?

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Blog Guy, you haven’t done any fantasy photos for a few days. I want some!

I’m here to make you happy. What the hell do you want?

I want a photo of a billionaire dressed like a clown.

Sigh. Any special setting?

No, it can be anyplace, so long as it’s in Red Square.

Holy crap! Anything else?

Yes. I want a photo of actor Sylvester Stallone in his private bathroom.

Geez, I sure hope the authorities are watching you. Okay, here are the two shots you requested.

Hey! That billionaire is just some Canadian clown!

You expected what, Warren Buffett in a red wig?

And this caption says Stallone is in a theater, not a bathroom!

Sure, but isn’t this pretty much how you think his bathroom at home would look?

What’s wrong with this picture?

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Blog Guy, can you clear something up for me? I saw photos of President Barack Obama and other major European leaders at the D-Day ceremonies in France, but there is one guy in a uniform who isn’t identified.

Yes, I noticed that, too. I believe he is Captain Kangaroo.

Excuse me? Why would Captain Kangaroo be with world leaders?

He was a war hero in World War II, fighting alongside actor Lee Marvin. So it makes sense.

Triple-button shot makes photo history!

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It’s me, Blog Guy, that aspiring photojournalist. I think it’s time I try some tougher shots. You know, the ones that only the pros can do. Like say you have some world leaders together and you want to show action?

Sure. The great shooters will do this by showing them buttoning their jackets. If you can get two of them to do it simultaneously, that’s solid gold.

Looks like Miami, only Frenchier!

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Blog Guy, you have written lots about exotic homes of the world’s leaders. Interesting stuff about 10 Downing Street, where Britain’s prime minister lives, and your amazing look at the unique home of Russia’s president. Can you tell us about other official residences, please?

Lots of them are named for colors, like our White House, South Korea’s Blue House, and Canada’s Pink House, the prime minister’s Ottawa home, named for the pink flamingos all over the lawn.

Me want a Frap…Frap…Frap…

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Blog guy, I saw some images from a confrontation in Canada over the weekend, with white supremacists vs. anti-racist activists. Is there any easy way to tell them apart?

Oh my, yes! Look at the photo below. All of the anti-racists carry Starbucks drinks. Grande size, if I’m not mistaken.

Sorry, may I withdraw my question?

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Blog Guy, as a journalist I imagine you’re happy to be in a country with a free press, unlike some other places.Amen to that! Like Canada, for instance.Um, I believe they have a free press in Canada, don’t they?Yeah? Tell that to the reporters who went to a local official’s news conference yesterday, where he waved a big snake at them every time they asked a question!Did you read that someplace? Nah, I just saw a picture.I’m sure you know that didn’t really happen. Why did you make it up?So I could show our actual photo caption below, which carefully identifies the guy as (C) for center, so that easily-confused readers won’t mistake him for the snake.

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British Columbia Environment Minister Barry Penner (C) holds onto Pisco the boa constrictor following an announcement on new restrictions with regards to controlling the owning and breeding of exotic animals, at the aquarium in Vancouver, British Columbia March 17, 2009. REUTERS/Andy Clark

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Turning the tables on police?

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Lonnie! Where you goin’ with my good table?

Nowhere, Ma!

Lonnie, I’m not stupid! You’re strappin’ my good table to yer car!

Okay, Jeez! I’m takin’ it down to our protest today, to throw it at the police.