Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Obama in O Canada? Oh really?

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Hey Blog Guy,

I heard President Obama made his first trip out of the country since taking office. Wow, I bet it was someplace exotic. Italy? Mongolia? Bhutan?

He went to Canada.

Canada? That place up there where we go for cheap prescription drugs? What on EARTH did he do?

Oh, there’s plenty to do in Canada. Obama toured the famous “Really, Really, Really Long Hallway of Lots of Flags.”

I guess that could be neat. What else?

He visited the very popular “Really, Really, Really Long Line of Saluting Mounties.”

Why so annoyed, Floyd?

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Blog Guy. I need your advice. I’m thinking of moving to Canada, because they all seem so happy and carefree up there.

Are you crazy? Here are some Canadian politicians. Do they LOOK happy?

No, they look pretty cheesed-off. What are they debating, anyway?

I think whether to order poutine for lunch.

What’s that?

A traditional Canadian dish. I can’t bear to write what’s in it, but you can find it here if nothing grosses you out.

Stay away from that ceiling fan!

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“Trust me, lady, you look gorgeous in this!

“Sure, I know it seems expensive, but you’re getting 650 pounds of high fashion, straight from Budapest! Pound for pound, that’s a bargain.

“Look, lady, you said you’re moving to Canada! This is EXACTLY what the women all wear up there. This baby will let you fit right in up in Manitoba!

Bra flag: from C to shining C…

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bras-2-140.jpgBlog Guy, recently I was in Montreal, Canada, and I saw women’s brassieres hanging all over the place. You’re a sophisticated guy, so what’s up with that?

I think that must be the new Montreal flag. They didn’t want to use some variation of the maple leaf, because that’s already been done, and they liked the shape and variety of bras that are available. Also, I’m pretty sure the local hockey team is the Montreal Maidenforms.

We’d rather show up buck naked!

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canada-this-140.jpgBlog Guy, I have a question about the Beijing Olympics, which I believe are being held in Peking.  How will they control the number of athletes? Is there some qualifying event to make sure millions of them don’t all show up in China?

Are you kidding? That would be WAY too complicated! No, each country just controls the size of their teams by making the athletes wear really goofy-looking costumes to the opening ceremony.

Snow rage: do you get my DRIFT?

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If I told you white powder was driving citizens to sudden violent acts, you’d probably picture guys fighting over cocaine someplace way south, as temperatures hit 100 degrees. Well, check your stereotypes at the door. This is Quebec City, one of the quaintest, most civilized places in North America, home of great food and cobblestone streets.

But with 210 inches of snow so far this year, and snowdrifts of up to 12 feet in some places. tempers are flaring. We have a story describing residents as being – and please excuse my language – “fed up.” Yes, “fed up.” One dude pointed a shotgun at the ground and looked at a woman “in a threatening way,” and another man produced a toy gun in a parking space argument.

What are you doing in a dive like this?

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The screams and epic splashes coming from Toronto Wednesday were the result of the National Cannonball Championships. For those who can’t remember their childhoods, that was the name given to swimming pool dives designed to make the biggest possible splash, and to cause a bit of pain as well.

First place went to the guy in this photo from Alberta – they call him the “Hurtin Albertan” – who, according to one story said doing these dives felt like running into a wall repeatedly.”

The good news is, they still remember him

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Back in May, we noted an ongoing competition to determine the “Worst Canadian.” Early contenders for the honor included pop singers like Celine Dion and Shania Twain, and the former owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs. We suggested cartoon villain Snidely Whiplash, just to be helpful.

Well, we should have seen this one coming. Nobody can irritate the public like a politician, and the just-announced winner of the coveted title is former Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau. The top-ten list features four prime ministers, including the current one. Indeed, if we can be honest here, there are more prime ministers than serial killers on the list, although it’s pretty close.

O Canada! Is this what you call nasty?

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Okay, this story started out mildly funny and it’s rapidly improving. A Canadian history magazine is tired of everybody thinking all Canadians are nice, and is conducting a survey to determine “The Worst Canadian.”

So far, visitors to the magazine’s Web site have nominated pop singers like Celine Dion and Shania Twain, and the former owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs, showing that they really don’t quite seem to get the concept. Some guy is already campaigning for the title, and the names being suggested in the blogosphere are mostly people nobody has heard of outside Canada. How bad could they be?

Found: drivers with clothespins and really, really long car?

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A stowaway skunk has found a ride for the long trip back home – or maybe not so long, depending on her behavior.

You may recall that this skunk wound up in Canada after traveling more than 2,200 miles shut in the back of a truck from California. Wildlife officials in Canada have been looking for somebody to ferry the animal home, but they could offer no promises that she wouldn’t do what skunks do at some point on the trip.