Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Woo-hoo! Another stinking fish!

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Blog Guy, you’ve helped a lot of college seniors focus on a career to match their education. As a soon-to-be-graduating philosophy major, what should my next move should be?

That depends. Have you had a lot of offers from the recruiters that philosophy companies send around to the better schools? I mean, is there a respected employer saying he can’t wait to put your philosophy skills to work?

fish smeller 500

No, I can’t honestly say there’s been that much interest. I thought philosophers would be in demand.

Okay, don’t panic.  You can still probably go to China and work as a fish sniffer.

Wine angels: wenches on winches?

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Blog Guy, many college seniors depend on you for career advice. Are there any new opportunities out there? I am a woman with a creative writing major. I enjoy swinging from ropes and being around alcoholic beverages. Any advice?

Yes. Look into the exciting field of “wine angelry.” Apparently some hotels and restaurants are now storing their huge wine collections vertically, several stories high, and “wine angels” are sent up to retrieve bottles that are ordered, to entertain diners.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or… Oh, it IS a gun!

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It’s that time of year again, when college seniors start asking me for career advice.

“Bob,” writes one student at a northeastern college, “I picked up a glossy pamphlet on the exciting field of professional frisking.

I’m workin’ at the carwash man, in Afghanistan…

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Blog Guy, I’m about to graduate from college in December, and I could use some career advice. I know you’re great at that.

Well, it depends on what you studied, of course. We need doctors, teachers, engineers….

Join the Navy and see the lake!

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Blog Guy, you’re known for your great career advice. I think I’d like something in the military – my girlfriend says I look GREAT in uniform!

Well, there’s plenty of military available these days.

Here’s the catch. I don’t fwant to be in any danger. Can you tell me the very, very, very safest military branch to join? It doesn’t have to be in the U.S.

Seven swans a-swimming…

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Blog Guy, I can count and I like birds. What would be a good career for me?

Those are pretty strong qualifications in today’s job market. I would suggest a career in Swan Upping.

Swan what?

Swan Uppers count swans in the river Thames, over in England. For five days every July they put on red jackets and count swans for the Queen. The Queen watches, I guess to make sure she’s not getting screwed out of any swans.

MINE DIVER? I thought I applied to be a mime driver!

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Blog Guy, you’ve given lots of career pointers, especially warning people about jobs to stay away from. If I’m not mistaken, your advice is free?

Yes, my advice is totally gratuitous.

That’s just how it  seems to your readers. Any new jobs to avoid?

Yeah. This one in the photo.

I see what you mean!  He’s jumping from a helicopter into the water!

You don’t understand. That’s the easy part. He’s called a “mine diver.” After jumping from the chopper he looks for mines and attaches explosives to them, meaning there isn’t one single aspect of this job that appeals to me.

Advice on juggling careers?

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Blog Guy, I recently graduated from college with a major in creative writing and a minor in film studies. What sort of job should I be looking for?

Can you juggle?

What? You mean like tennis balls?

No, more like chainsaws. Ones that are actually running. If you check out the photo below, I think there may be an opening when Stumpy here “retires.”

Friar takes a flier?

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Welcome back to our popular feature, Stuff Maybe we Should Have Mentioned in the Caption, but Didn’t.************Now, the actual photo caption we put on these pictures tells us a man dressed as a friar is jumping off a 33-foot cliff at a restaurant in Peru, as a tourist attraction.******Huh? He’s doing what? In fairness, our caption also says the restaurant’s name is “The Jump of the Friar,” so either this is quite an amazing coincidence, or else the guy works for the place.******I suppose he’s just happy they didn’t decide to name it “The Beheading of the Friar” or the “Colonoscopy of the Friar” or something like that.******But anyway, here’s my point. You recent college graduates with difficult-to-market skills should pay attention. One of these days this guy won’t come out of the water, which is your opportunity to be the star attraction at Peru’s newest cliff-side eatery, “The Jump of the Creative Writing Major.” Hey, it’s a job.***

Tweat yourself to this blog on Twitter at rbasler

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************A man dressed as a friar jumps from a ten meter (33 feet) cliff at “The Jump of the Friar,” a local restaurant, as a tourist attraction in Lima, May 28, 2009. REUTERS/ Pilar Olivares

Wanna see my Chipmunk, baby?

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Blog Guy, you write a lot about military careers, and I could use some advice. I want to be able to wear a whole bunch of medals, to impress the chicks.

So you’re saying you want to see lots of combat and earn medals of honor and valor and purple hearts and stuff?