Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Reboot! I said, reboot now!

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Blog Guy, I’m CEO of a struggling U.S. company. I need to reduce my Information Technology costs. My employees act like computers grow on trees, abusing equipment and stuff. Our geeky tech staff is too timid to crack the whip. Help!

Maybe you’re hiring your techies in the wrong place, sir. Send your recruiters to the Information Technology college, in Baghdad.

As you can see here, their grads won’t put up with crap from your whiny workers.

They’re pretty impressive, I must say.

Exactly. Imagine one of your employees shows up hung-over in the morning, spills coffee in his keyboard and calls Tech Support. Now imagine two or three of these guys answering his call. What sort of workers do you employ, if I may ask?

Give me a leash, I’m a horticulturist!

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Blog Guy, I took a vocational preference test and it said I should be a horticulturist. I’m embarrassed to say I don’t know what that is. Can you tell me?

Sure. A horticulturist is someone who takes care of dogs.

Really? That surprises me. I’ve never had a dog, and there were no questions about dogs on the test. Are you sure?

Damn you, guidance counselor!

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This time of year I get lots of queries from college seniors asking for career advice.

Often they say, “Bobby, are there any signs I can look for that might indicate I’ve chosen the wrong career?”

The army exploits of Major Stoner

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Blog Guy, I’ve noticed that every time you offer career advice about the military, all you do is write about the jobs you consider crappy. Are there ANY good jobs?

Yes. These troops here are watching as tons of marijuana goes up in smoke, if you catch my drift.

Packs of snapping paparazzi nuns!

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Blog Guy, It’s me – the aspiring photojournalist you’ve been advising. know these are hard times in journalism, and I’m wondering if news organizations are cutting costs in the area of photography.

I’m afraid so. Many media outlets have shifted to hiring nuns for photo assignments. You see whole herds of nuns at all the big news events these days.

And what became of the monk, the monk, the monk?

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Quick quiz: The man in this photo…

a) is a professional aspirin tester, giving himself a routine headache at the start of his workday.

b) is a Kindle reader who just HATES the new John Grisham book!

c) is disappointed to realize he could’ve had a V8.

d) is killing flies by a method that isn’t doctor-recommended.

This item is for all you college seniors writing in to ask me about careers in the exciting field of iron sheet disposal. I can tell you from tough personal experience that it’s not as glamorous as it looks.

It don’t get much worse than this!

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I’m not going to prolong it. The Worst Job in the World title came down to a number of factors – danger, grossness, fecalocitude, etc.

In the end, I had to choose the worst job I happen to have a photo of, and that brings us to the exciting field of elephant proctology.

Do YOU have the world’s worst job?

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It is gratifying to see the response to yesterday’s post about the Very Worst Job in the World. Guesses are still very welcome, and the actual job will be announced at 11 a.m. on Thursday.

With regret, I’ve disqualified all the folks who guessed their own jobs. That’s just too easy. One of those was the guy who edits this very blog. Sorry, I don’t think so.

The very worst job: he who must not be named!

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Blog Guy, my daughter hasn’t decided on a career. You give great job advice, and you’ve even named the worst job in the world. Could you remind me what that was?

Oh, I’ve written about so many bad careers. There’s crocodile dentistry, being a crew member aboard a homemade submarine, being a trolleybus driver’s assistant.

Taking a stab at a swordid business?

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Today we have a video clip of a sword swallower who says – now prepare to be stunned – it’s a dangerous thing to do.

No way! Who the heck would have figured that giving yourself a colonoscopy with 30 inches of cold steel could be dangerous?