Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Think we used too much gunpowder?

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The actual caption for this photo below says these workers are TESTING FIRECRACKERS at a firecracker factory. I am not making this up.

firecrackers-crop-1022.jpgHerbie, welcome to your first day as a firecracker tester here at Acme. Any questions?

Um, what kind of stuff am I testing for?

Well, some of our firecrackers have wicks that are too short. So we need to test ‘em to see.

Is that all?

No, some of them seem to be too heavy to throw very far, so we want to identify those.

You’re SURE this is the air force?

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I’m embarrassed for these guys. The photo captions say they are in the Air Force, and are displaying their “skills.”

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But here’s a tip. If you find yourself slithering along the dusty ground with a bayonet on the end of your rifle, you may have joined the WRONG Air Force! There’s a chance you got drunk and signed up for that other branch, Dudes Who Crawl Along With Bayonets Until They are Strafed by the Air Force.

Hey, what do you think THIS button does?

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soyuz-blast-140.jpgBlog Guy, you’ve been great about advising people on jobs to avoid. I just picked up a flashy brochure about the “exciting field of rocket-leading,” and I wonder what you can tell me about it. 

You were smart to come to me. Below is a photo of a rocket-leader at work, walking a few feet from the business end of a Soyuz spacecraft.

This isn’t as much fun as it looks like!

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chopper-net-crop-180.jpgHey, Blog Guy, you give the very best career advice. I especially value your tips on how to know if we’ve made a bad career choice.

Thank you. Here’s something that always works. I call it the triple reality check:

Careers: a flirtation with mutation?

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freak-video-2-200.jpgBlog Guy, I just graduated from college with a degree in art history, and I can’t figure out what I want to do. Your career advice is the best!

Have you thought about being a freak?

Well geez, I’m no Brad Pitt, but…

You have to dream big, son! Gone are the days when you had to be lucky enough to be BORN a freak!  Just watch our video about this young man who underwent countless operations, tattooings and piercings to WORK his way to lucrative freakdom!

Do I LOOK like I have a plunger?

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Blog Guy, you’ve helped others with specific fashion problems, so here I go. I’m a female janitor, and my profession isn’t exactly known for high fashion. I work in a nice pre-war building in Manhattan, so I want to dress like it. I also want a more glamorous title than janitor. 

fashion-janitor-headshot-140.jpgSure. How about the Vixen of Fixin’?

I love it! Now about the wardrobe…

I think you’ll find what you need in a Barcelona fashion show last week. This outfit makes a bold statement: “Your kitchen sink is stopped up? Wash your dishes in the toilet!” Or maybe it says,”A whole twenty bucks for a Christmas tip? YOU keep it, hotshot!”

Hauling fireworks: more bang for your truck!

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fireworks-200.jpgQuick quiz: If you are a professional truckdriver, a good thing to haul is…

a) jelly doughnuts
b) bunny rabbits
c) designer shoes
d) highly explosive fireworks

Floss more, and eat fewer humans…

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crocodile-0716-crop-160.jpgBlog Guy, your career advice for recent grads seems to be the best available, and I just wanted up update my list of jobs to avoid before I send out my resumes. Any new scams I should know about?

For sure. There has been a real promotional blitz lately about the so-called “exciting field of crocodile dentistry.” Well, no matter what adjectives they use to describe this career – lucrative, glamorous, enjoyable - it really isn’t any of those things.

Hot enough for ya, Mr. President?

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barney-140-this.jpgMeet Jimmy, the First Mower. You know, the guy who cuts grass for the First Family at the White House.

Now, this may seem like a great summer job, but there are problems…

- The First Lady never picks up the dog poop, so good luck with your shoes.

- Old Man Bush always hollers out the screen door: “Stop that racket, I’m nappin’!”

Nowhere to run, baby, nowhere to slide!

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pole-crop-this-180.jpgBlog Guy, I heard that in China most firefighters are women. Is that true?

Apparently, judging from some new photos. Here, you can see a number of firewomen sliding down the poles in their firehouse, heading for action.

Um, I can’t help noticing they are wearing thigh-high leather boots with spiked heels.