Color me embarrassed. We had a PRETTY BAD error on our file, and is our policy, we had to publicly correct it. It seems we reported that Bulgarian prosecutors are investigating a new gambling game in which drivers defy death by speeding through red lights for bets of up to $2,200.

In a game known as ‘Russian road roulette,’ the driver must jump red lights at busy intersections at high speed and not crash into any other cars or pedestrians.

Imagine doing something that stupid for $2,200!

Well, it soon became clear we had it all wrong. It turned out, drivers are playing this game for bets of up to $7,400, which is a lot different from doing it just for chump change like $2,200.

But as insane as this game still sounds, the most amazing part to me is that according to our story, ONLOOKERS bet on the outcome, too!

“Hey Lamar, look! They’re havin’ one of those Russian road roulette games right here! Think we should get the hell out of the way to save ourselves?”

“Not so fast, Clancy! I’ll bet you $200 that red Mustang misses that pedestrian in the Hawaiian shirt… Oops! Well, we didn’t shake on it, Clancy…”

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These are just random photos of Bulgarian traffic carnage, not connected to Russian Road Roulette.

Above: Drivers and members of the Bulgarian security service confer after the leading car of the motorcade of the visiting Maltese President Guido de Marco collided with a truck near the village of Mursalevo in a 2001 file photo. REUTERS

Below: A Bulgarian firefighter tries to extinguish a burning taxi whose propane gas tank had caught fire on a motorway in central Sofia in a 2005 file photo. REUTERS

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Quick quiz: If you’re a jittery driver, what’s a good way to steady your nerves before you hit the road?

• get plenty of sleep
• practice meditation
• think soothing, happy thoughts
• enjoy a refreshing alcoholic beverage

Yeah, I thought that last one was pretty lame myself, but it turns out a politician from Ireland’s governing party has said “jumpy” drivers might benefit from having a relaxing alcoholic drink to steady their nerves.

I am not making this up.

See, Ireland is debating whether to cut the legal blood alcohol content limit for motorists, and some members of parliament oppose lowering the limit which would rule out a traditional Irish pint of Guinness for those driving.

“If drink is such a sedative, it can make people who are jumpy on the road, or nervous, be more relaxed,” said Mattie McGrath, Fianna Fail’s Tipperary South representative.

Right, Mattie. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to be crossing the street someday  when one of those really relaxed drivers comes along.

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Above: Guinness Chairman Tony Greener sips from a giant eight pint glass of stout to publicize his company’s earnings announcement in a 1997 file photo. REUTERS/Chris Helgren

Below: A racegoer holds a pint of Guinness on St Patrick’s Day on the third day of the Cheltenham National Hunt Festival in a 2005 file photo. REUTERS/Mike Finn-Kelcey

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Blog Guy, bring us up to speed on the Detroit automobile industry stuff. Remember, the government took over some carmakers and they were going to run the companies and stuff, but then I got really hammered and forgot to pay attention for a few months.

I believe the U.S. government version of the new Detroit models have just been unveiled in an elaborate Detroit ceremony. I saw pictures.

Awesome! And how did that go?

Not very well. Looks like the new cars exploded in balls of fire as they drove off the assembly line. Count on big recalls.

Wow, yeah, it’s gonna be tough to promote something like that as an optional feature. I guess…Hey, wait just a minute!

According to the photo captions, those explosions were staged for a movie in Detroit! They were intentional, not some new Washington screw-up!

Fair enough but they WERE in Detroit, so my accuracy rate has moved above zero, where it was stuck for a long time. I’m comin’ after the big news sites now, baby!

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A car blows up on the set of “Red Dawn” in Detroit, Michigan, October 19, 2009. Detroit, which has long faced economic collapse and neighborhood abandonment, woke up on Monday as the focal point for a remake of the 1984 action movie “Red Dawn” that took over several blocks in the center of the city. REUTERS/Rebecca Cook

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Blog Guy, I’m very disappointed in you.

So are most people. Can you be more specific?

You used to update us on Madonna and her auto in different world cities, but I’ve seen nothing for two weeks. Is her car in the shop, or what?

No, it’s still on the move, but she’s covering a lot of ground. Yesterday our plucky troubadour performed in Tel Aviv. Here’s a photo to prove it.

How does that prove anything? It looks exactly like all the other photos you’ve used.

Now you’re just stupid. If these photos really looked the same, why would we bother issuing all of them? That would be nuts!

For instance, in this photo on the right, from Budapest, the guy’s hand is on her waist, but in the Tel Aviv shot it isn’t.

Harrumph! I still don’t see why you need all those shots of the same scene.

Look, pal. You didn’t hear it from me. But when this tour is over, we’re under contract to produce a coffee table photo book called, “Madonna, Her Fancy Car, and That Dork in the Two-Toned Shoes!”

Thanks. I knew there was a reasonable explanation. I want to pre-order three copies…

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Above left: Pop singer Madonna performs during her Sticky and Sweet Tour concert in Tel Aviv, September 1, 2009. REUTERS/Gil Cohen Magen

Above right: Madonna performs in Budapest, August 22, 2009. REUTERS/Karoly Arvai

Left: Madonna performs in Munich, Warsaw, Helsinki, Vienna, Sao Paulo, Cardiff, London, Los Angeles, Mexico City, Nice, Barcelona and Rio. REUTERS photos.

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Blog Guy, I collect photos of vintage Rolls-Royces in different places. You got any?

Sure. Here’s a butt-load of shots from Madonna’s current tour.

Hang on, I said DIFFERENT places!

They are. The one on the right is from yesterday, in Estonia. The others are from Austria, Brazil, Wales, England, the U.S.A…

No way!

Oh, and Mexico, France, Spain…

But…but…but…they all look the same! Why would anybody take the same photo from numerous concerts?

Look, I know it seems insane. But one of these evenings, I don’t know where, that Rolls isn’t gonna stop in time…

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Above: Singer Madonna performs on stage in Tallinn, Estonia, August 4, 2009. REUTERS/ Stringer

Left: Madonna and car during shows in Vienna, Sao Paulo, Cardiff, London, Los Angeles, Mexico City, Nice, Barcelona and Rio. REUTERS photos.

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Quick quiz: Where would be a really stupid place to sell booze?

a) churches

b) kindergartens

c) hospitals

d) gas stations

Okay, they’re all pretty stupid, but I guess I’m going to say gas stations, because you really can buy liquor there in Lithuania. I’m not making this up.

But in a clear example of jack-booted repression, on January 1 it became illegal for gas stations to sell liquor at night.

I mean, what could go wrong with a carload of yokels pulling off the highway, filling their tank, buying a couple of handles of vodka and roaring off into the darkness?

To answer an obvious question, police data show that alcohol-related accidents have dropped by 45 percent since the ban was imposed. Nevertheless, an oil and gas company is fighting the ban, saying it may force them to start closing their stations at night and laying off workers.

Well boo-hoo! My own personal opinion is that they should continue the ban at gas stations, and just sell their booze at highway toll booths, instead.

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Above: Women play in mud during international music festival “Be2gether” in Lithuania, June 13, 2009. REUTERS/Vasily Fedosenko

Left: A man flashes a victory sign as more than 150 truck and bus drivers take part in a protest against the rising price of fuel in Vilnius, Lithuania, in 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Ints Kalnins

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Welcome back to my regular feature, “Bad Places to Nap.” Like for example the tattoo parlor, as we saw yesterday, or a railroad track.

People often say to me, “Bob, what are the very worst places to fall asleep?”

In my book, number one would be Somalia. Following that, in the number two slot, is anyplace where a 1955 Chevy Bel Air could fall off a wall and squash you.

Here we see a security guard making the mistake hundreds of people make each year, spotting a wall-mounted Bel Air and nodding off underneath it. Most of them never wake up.

What all classic car fanciers know is that the wall-hangers that came with the Bel Air were notoriously unreliable and shouldn’t even have been used to hang an automobile half its size.

Out of consideration for the squeamish, I’m going to spare you the photo that was taken just ten minutes after this one.

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A security guard sleeps under a car displayed on a wall at Walking Street in Pattaya, a resort town about 90 miles south of Bangkok, June 15, 2009. REUTERS/Sukree Sukplang

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I have to chuckle at the Honda folks, who have unveiled a “dog-friendly” SUV.

Honda hasn’t said how much the dog features will cost, but they’ve got a cushioned dog bed, a built-in water bowl, a bone design inside and a paw logo.

I read this story to my own mutts, Shelby and Eddie, and they’re still laughing.

My pets say if you really want car-happy dogs, here’s what you need:

• Slits in the leather upholstery; easier to take hold and start chewing.
• Lose the roof, so they can feel the breeze and let their tongues flop freely.
• Squeakers embedded in every seat.
• An interior you can hose down, much like our own living room.
• A dashboard push-button cheese dispenser you can operate with a paw.

That’s what THEY call dog-friendly! And if the Obamas are smart, they’re already personalizing the  presidential limo for their new dog Bo.

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Above: Shelby and Eddie, designing a truly dog-friendly car.

Below: Heather Cammisa with the Humane Society and a dog named Sammy demonstrate dog- friendly features. REUTERS /Lucas Jackson

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Blog Guy, do you think our elected officials feel the pain people are going through in this economic meltdown?

Yes, I do. I know for example that President Obama has been trying to buy a a new car here in Washington, because he doesn’t feel right about always having to ask the Secret Service to take him places.

He’s finding out how tough it is to get credit these days. He picked out a car at a showroom, but then they did a credit check on him and it wasn’t pretty.

The President of the United States has a bad credit rating?

Sure, look at the stuff the credit agencies monitor. They reported to the dealership that this Obama guy…

• recently moved to a new city
• has been in his current job for only two months
• doesn’t own his current home
• lives in a non-residential downtown area

That’s the kind of stuff that gives lenders the heebie-jeebies. No wonder he’s sweating the results.

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Above: President Barack Obama wipes his face at a town hall meeting in Costa Mesa, California, March 18, 2009.

Below: Obama  tours the “Garage of the Future” at the Edison Electric Vehicle Technical Center in Pomona, California, March 19, 2009.

REUTERS photos by Larry Downing

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Blog Guy, I’m back for more of your professional photo advice.

I understand that there are commercial aspects to photojournalism, and I’m ready for that. You know, shooting gadgets, expensive toys. Can I have some tips for shooting a big glitzy auto show?

Sure. You want to make the new models look very hot and sexy.

Thanks! So which parts should I shoot?

Parts? Well, here are some photos from the Geneva Car Show that is going on now. I guess you should focus on legs, thighs, curves…

Wait a second. Aren’t we talking about CARS?

Cars? Are you stupid? When I said MODELS, I meant… Oh, never mind, you seem to be hopeless when it comes to real news photography!

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Models at the Geneva, Switzerland, Car Show, March 2-4. REUTERS photos by Denis Balibouse, Arnd Wiegmann, Valentin Flauraud

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