Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Seinfeld, a show about bupkis…
Blog Guy, you have the most authoritative entertainment news anywhere, so I’m coming to you first about something I heard.
There’s a rumor that my all-time favorite sitcom, “Seinfeld,” is coming back to TV next season. Any chance it’s true?
Basically, yes. They’re shooting it now, with Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus reprising their original roles.
That’s GREAT! I can’t wait to see what they…. Hey, wait a minute. What about Kramer?
Well, that’s the new twist. Kramer is out. Instead of New York City, the other three live in Israel, and their wacky neighbor across the hall is President Shimon Peres. I’m telling you, the stuff those guys get up to…
I have to say, Blog Guy, that sounds to me like a VERY different show.
So I’m not the sexiest man alive?
Boss, you got a minute for a private chat?
I’m kinda depressed. “People Magazine” just announced its “Sexiest Man Alive” choice for this year, and once again, it wasn’t me.
I can see where that would be a blow to somebody with your unusual looks, Lamar. Who got it this time?
Some actor named Bradley Cooper.
It keeps goin’ to guys like George Clooney, Matt Damon, Harrison Ford. Some of them have won twice, and I can’t even get it once.
@Nosmo_King: Recent reports from the Cassini probe have determined that one section of the rings of Saturn consist of lost socks teleported by laundry systems here on Earth. Analysis of other sections include lost pen tops, paper clips, and loose change.
Okay, so maybe it’s a strange hobby…
Blog Guy, I hate to bother you, but I need your help with something.
Sure, that’s what I’m here for.
See, I maintain an extensive world map with color-coded pins showing everywhere Paris Hilton has been in the last 10 years, you know, day by day.
Really? Then I don’t think I can give you the kind of help it sounds like you need.
So anyway, due to some unfortunate binge drinking-related blackouts, I seem to be missing a few key dates. For instance, August 8, 2004.
Let’s have a look in my photo archive. Bingo! Here she is, driving a pickup truck in Los Angeles.
@jclimacus: Brilliant!
As our own Blog Guy once said
to his readers,
“Hilton’s as dingy as a bell,”
As Cain announced when he knew he was trounced,
“It was swell, voters, swell,”
As the Blog Guy said to his readers with ease,
“Don’t forget make comments, please,”
As fwd cried in the duchess’s ear,
“Kate, why not choose me, dear?”
It was just one of those things
Just something that Ronald’s spam brings
One of those peaches or beaches from one of those kings
Just one of those things
It was just one of those blogs,
Just one of those things that leaves you agog
A trip to the moon on the BT-69′s wings,
Just one of those things
When superstars shoot on location…
I can’t believe they have the nerve to call this dump a supermarket!
But Ms. Jolie, this isn’t America. Things are different over here.
Really? Things are SO different that I can’t even buy Budweiser or Velveeta for Brad? What the hell are we supposed to live on?
Well, maybe you and Mr. Pitt could try some other kind of processed cheese product while you’re working here, Ms. Jolie….
Right, like THAT’S gonna happen! They wouldn’t even take my newspaper coupons here, either.
You cut those out of the Schenectady Gazette, Ms. Jolie. They’re not going to take them over here.
@Ifly: Tomb raider one was the coolest, after that is bit of a downhill slope in my view.
Remember to bring protection, honey
Blog Guy, I’m worried sick! I heard there was some problem with protecting Paris Hilton. Is she okay?
She’s fine, but her bodyguards aren’t.
They were hurt while protecting her?
No, they were fired FOR protecting her. Our story, Elite Polish cops sacked for protecting Paris Hilton, says three police commandos were told to resign or they would be fired for serving as Hilton’s bodyguards during a recent appearance at a shopping mall opening.
Wow, that sounds kind of harsh. So what did they do wrong?
Well, I can’t be bothered to do research, so I’m just guessing here, but I imagine Poland must have a law against protecting Paris Hilton. I think a number of countries have similar laws.
Polish policemen got fired because really wanted to keep a close eye on Paris’s assets…
I would too 
Perhaps you recognize my large chest?
So, pal, what do you do for a living?
What do I DO? I am FABIO!
Sorry, I don’t understand. What is that?
I am an actor and a model!
Oh! Have I seen you in anything?
Probably. I played the Handsome Man in “Scenes from a Mall,” the Blind Date in “Boogies Diner,” and I have done numerous cameos.
When I was in Florence a guy calling himself Fabio tried to pick me up – I mentioned it to a friend years later and apparently the same guy tried the same thing with her! He claimed to be related to “THE” Fabio – like we’re that stupid! Us Aussie girls don’t fall for lines like that so easily…
Keeping away from the Kardashians
Blog Guy, I’m a fed-up, angry American. Enough is enough!
What can we do to protect our country from those tawdry, horrid people? I see them everywhere now. I think you know who I’m talking about.
You must mean the Kardashians?
Of course! They’re everywhere! Now the mother has written her “memoirs,” and that daughter that got married like a week ago has already filed for divorce. How many of them are there, anyway?
Wikipedia says there are 652, but I agree it seems like a lot more. Kardashians breed rapidly and have a short gestation period.
You can buy software to filter them out of your Internet feed, but in a few years, when we have U.S. President Kardashian, that will become problematic.
now you followers of this bunch of uneducated money grubbing egotists see exactly what you have been so entranced by. these people betrayed their fans with the sham wedding of kim to the tall goofy guy. do you think bruce kardashian enjoyed playing the village idiot in this ploy?
Peel faster if you wanna be president!
Blog Guy, I’ve been trying to get a job in the exciting outdoor food service industry, and there aren’t any. Do you know why?
Of course. Politicians and celebrities are taking all of them.
Yes! That’s what happened to me! I tried getting work peeling potatoes in Ireland, and they gave the position to a presidential candidate, instead!
Sadly, it’s happening everywhere. Penny-pinching owners of public food stalls are finding VIPs more than willing to do the work, without even having to get pesky health department certifications and stuff like that.
Look at these photos. Sarah Palin serving hot dogs, Kate Middleton flipping pancakes…
Even Tim Pawlenty watching his presidential campaign shrivel up like a porkchop.
No wonder they make mincemeat of all the issues we are facing…
We’ll always, always, always have Paris…
Blog Guy, it’s been TWO WEEKS since you’ve shown us fresh pictures of Paris Hilton! Are there no cameras left for her to stand in front of? Is something wrong? Should we prepare for bad news?
Calm down, she’s still posing. Here she is at the opening of a shopping center this week, in Poland.
Excuse me? She’s at that level now, going to Polish strip mall openings? What’s that about?
As I understand it, she was supposed to cut the ribbon on the new meat department at a Piggly Wiggly down in Baton Rouge, but that fell through, so she needed something to do.
Ah, that makes sense. I notice in her arrival shot she doesn’t even have an elevator to ride. Is this her choice?
Yes, she prefers to arrive this way. Her contract has an escalator clause…
Great mooseum! I’ll be back!
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I love visiting the childhood homes of great people, to see where they got their start.
I’ve been to Mark Twain’s home in Hannibal, Missouri, the house where Louisa May Alcott grew up in Concord, Massachusetts, Reverend Martin Luther King’s birth home, in Atlanta…
Say no more, this is your lucky day. Two words for you: Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Um, I think I’m going to need a few more words than that.
Oh. They’ve just opened a museum dedicated to Arnold’s life, in the house where he was born, in Austria. He was there in person for the opening.
He’s not exactly Louisa May Alcott.
The very dumbest? Wow. Thanks, Rick! Come back often!
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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I have seen a few episodes of Seinfield and I liked what I saw..
Really liked Jason Alexander’s character.. he made me laugh quite a lot, and yes ofcourse Kramer.
But like they say, all good things must end.