Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, you have the most authoritative entertainment news anywhere, so I’m coming to you first about something I heard.
Basically, yes. They’re shooting it now, with Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus reprising their original roles.
That’s GREAT! I can’t wait to see what they…. Hey, wait a minute. What about Kramer?
Boss, you got a minute for a private chat?
I’m kinda depressed. “People Magazine” just announced its “Sexiest Man Alive” choice for this year, and once again, it wasn’t me.
I can see where that would be a blow to somebody with your unusual looks, Lamar. Who got it this time?
Blog Guy, I hate to bother you, but I need your help with something.
See, I maintain an extensive world map with color-coded pins showing everywhere Paris Hilton has been in the last 10 years, you know, day by day.
Really? Then I don’t think I can give you the kind of help it sounds like you need.
I can’t believe they have the nerve to call this dump a supermarket!
But Ms. Jolie, this isn’t America. Things are different over here.
Well, maybe you and Mr. Pitt could try some other kind of processed cheese product while you’re working here, Ms. Jolie….
Blog Guy, I’m worried sick! I heard there was some problem with protecting Paris Hilton. Is she okay?
They were hurt while protecting her?
No, they were fired FOR protecting her. Our story, Elite Polish cops sacked for protecting Paris Hilton, says three police commandos were told to resign or they would be fired for serving as Hilton’s bodyguards during a recent appearance at a shopping mall opening.
So, pal, what do you do for a living?
What do I DO? I am FABIO!
I am an actor and a model!
Oh! Have I seen you in anything?
Probably. I played the Handsome Man in “Scenes from a Mall,” the Blind Date in “Boogies Diner,” and I have done numerous cameos.
No. The short kind.
Hmmmm. You do look familiar.
I am also a spokesman.
Spokesman, huh? For what?
I can’t believe it’s not butter.
What, this stuff on our plate isn’t butter?
No. I am a spokesman for I can’t believe it’s not butter!
Ah, I don’t watch much TV.
Do you read? I write books and my bare chest is on the covers! Perhaps you have read “Rogue,” “Comanche,” “Viking…”
Blog Guy, I’m a fed-up, angry American. Enough is enough!
You must mean the Kardashians?
Of course! They’re everywhere! Now the mother has written her “memoirs,” and that daughter that got married like a week ago has already filed for divorce. How many of them are there, anyway?
Blog Guy, I’ve been trying to get a job in the exciting outdoor food service industry, and there aren’t any. Do you know why?
Yes! That’s what happened to me! I tried getting work peeling potatoes in Ireland, and they gave the position to a presidential candidate, instead!
Blog Guy, it’s been TWO WEEKS since you’ve shown us fresh pictures of Paris Hilton! Are there no cameras left for her to stand in front of? Is something wrong? Should we prepare for bad news?
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous travel advice. I love visiting the childhood homes of great people, to see where they got their start.