Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Say it ain’t so, Salma…

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Okay, I’m big enough to admit when I was wrong.

I’ve devoted several items recently to a wild conspiracy theory about a nefarious plot by prominent people who wear white hats to secretly identify themselves to each other.

Readers pointed out photos of everybody from Brad Pitt and the Dalai Lama to Madonna and boxer Jake “Raging Bull” LaMotta, and I poked fun at their theories.

Needless to say, that was before I saw a video clip on our own reuters.com of actress Salma Hayek in Cairo, spouting absolute gibberish about taking her kid to the Pyramids and crap like that.

The piece is so totally devoid of news value that it could ONLY have been filed for the conspiracy, to share a coded message from Hayek in her white hat.

Go ahead, make my jour!

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Blog Guy, I read that Clint Eastwood got a major honor from France on Friday, presented by French President Nicolas Sarkozy himself. Awesome!

Yeah, but Sarkozy tried being an even tougher guy than Eastwood, and got all up in his face like he was gonna punch him. It wouldn’t surprise me if…

I’ve seen the captain somewhere before!

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Blog Guy, my favorite actress is Marcia Gay Harden. Why isn’t she in more stuff?Because Marcia divides her time between acting and her real love, working as the captain of a luxury cruise ship.WHAT?We caught up with her this week in New York City, aboard the Carnival Dream, tooting the horn, dropping the anchor and stuff, charting a course for Louisville or someplace like that.Blog Guy, are you out of  your fricking mind? She’s just there to promote a new cruise ship. That’s it.You know, that’s what I thought at first, too. But look at the caption. It has one of those NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS warnings on it.So, why would they bring in a famous actress and then not be able to use the pictures for anything? No, I’m sticking with my original guess, that she’s the captain.Blog Guy, do you always just “guess” at the so-called news you print here?No, not always. Sometimes I just make it up completely.

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Actress Marcia Gay Harden dons Carnival Dream Captain Carlo Queirolo’s hat while touring the ship’s bridge in New York City, November 12, 2009. Harden presided over ship’s naming ceremonies for the new ship. REUTERS/Ray Stubblebine/ Carnival Cruise Lines/HO) FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Think fast! Incoming oranges!

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Dammit Johnson, now you’ve REALLY screwed up! It was bad enough a couple of weeks ago, when you let a small part of the German Chancellor’s face get in the way of a sky shot, but this one is even worse!

What now, Boss? You sent me out to shoot a profile of French fashion designer Pierre Cardin, and that’s what I did! Look, here are his hands!

Pamela Anderson and her little dress child…

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Observant readers will note that actress Pamela Anderson seems to manage only a cruel sneer, one that reaches out and says, “Come here and I’ll kill you!”

I believe my blog was the first to report that Anderson’s face is doing weird things these days, but that isn’t what’s going on here.

Hey, are you Ben Kingsley’s kids?

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Blog Guy, can you please help settle an argument with my girlfriend? Did Gandhi have any children?

This is what you argue about with your girlfriend? What about fidelity and commitment and toilet seats and stuff?

A huge thrill for Megan Fox?

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I am just SO danged proud of all you readers!

Despite my sacred vow that you will never learn anything from my blog, when you found out here that actress Megan Fox has a quote from “King Lear” tattooed on her back, you made it the most popular post of the month!

All’s I can figure is, all you crazy Shakespeare lovers wanted to memorize the full quote!

How much extra for naked chicks on the lapels?

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Boy Lonnie, you’ll be sorry you took those days off from the custom tailor shop.

Damn! I always miss the good stuff. Another weirdo, huh?

That doesn’t begin to cover it. This dude demanded huge full-color naked chicks sewn onto his jacket by the lapels.

We’ve said this crap before, haven’t we?

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Arnold: Who is your daddy and what does he do?

Sylvester: My old man, he was never too smart, he says to me, ‘You ain’t got much of a brain…’

Arnold: I remember days like this when my father took me to the forest and we ate wild blueberries…

Learing at a super-hot actress!

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Yo Blog Guy, you know that hot actress Megan Fox? She’s SO fine! Can you run some pictures of her for me?

Sorry, sir, this isn’t that kind of a blog. We don’t run exploitative photos of human beings just because they are “hot.” My readers have loftier pretentions.