Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

This just in, Arnold has a driveway!

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Blog Guy, I was stunned by the news that actor and former California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger fathered a child with a member of his household staff.

We were all shocked, believe me. We expect more than that from people in entertainment and politics, don’t we?

But the stories about Arnold’s marital problems left me with unanswered questions. I’m wondering whether his home has a driveway.

I can help you with that one. Yes, there is a private drive to his home, and it looks like a pretty nice place.

The prestigious Zippo Award goes to…

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Blog Guy, why don’t you actually go to Cannes to cover that annual Film Festival?

Oh, I don’t smoke.

So?

From the looks of our coverage every year Cannes is just one big ashtray, a throwback to the 1950s when nobody worried much about lungs.

She’s armed with a good quote…

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Quick quiz: The tattoo on the arm of actress Emily Browning, seen here at the Cannes Film Festival, says…

a) I’d like to thank my agent and manager…

b) When I’m 80, this will be a flabby, blurry smear…

c) If you can read this, you’re too close….

d) Note to self: never drink ouzo again…

e) A blessed unrest that keeps us marching…

Yeah, sorry about that, I wish it could have been wackier, but it’s the last choice.

I’ve got your back, Renee…

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Hey Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my haberdasher’s fishmonger?

Oh sure, even when I’m on vacation, which I am now, I’m always happy to take time out to settle bets with folks from randomly obscure professions.

Great, thanks! So we were wondering, who has the most deformed back in the history of entertainment?

The White House can’t afford plates?

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Blog Guy, I’m disappointed in you.

Most of my readers usually are. What did I do now?

Easter came and went and you didn’t offer up your usual Goofiest Easter Photo. What gives?

I’m still waiting for our panel of judges. It’s down to two finalists.

I’ll NEVER do that again, I promise!

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penitents melanie this 490

Blog Guy, every year at Easter time I see lots of photos of “penitents” from different places, which I gather has to do with repenting for sins and stuff like that. I was hoping you could elaborate a bit for your readers.

penitents robes 300Not without doing actual research, which takes too much effort.

But I was hoping you could just make up stuff, as usual.

Okay. It appears some penitents have to wear hooded outfits which are VERY unfortunate in design, if you catch my meaning.

Museum gets a goofy facelift?

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goofy antonio this 490

Blog Guy, you haven’t told us anything about seasonal plans for your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop. Are you gearing up for something huge?

goofy new combo 340We are indeed, but right now, Washington, DC is overflowing with tourists here for that Cherry Blossom Festival.

Five tips that could save your marriage

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nicolas cage 490

Maybe you saw that actor Nicolas Cage was arrested in New Orleans after an argument with his wife. He was booked on suspicion of domestic abuse battery, disturbing the peace and public drunkenness.

nicolas cage crop 320What intrigued me was that the police said Cage and his wife were standing in front of a home and arguing about whether it was where they lived.

I couldn’t pick out that guy in a line-up!

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, my favorite actor is Antonio Banderas. He is SO dreamy! I love him! Can you please, please run a photo of him in your blog for all his fans?

SPAIN/Sure, my pleasure. Here he is in Málaga, Spain, a couple of days ago for Holy Week. Enjoy.

This shore isn’t much of a school….

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Blog Guy, it’s been three whole weeks since you spotted the most recent sign of that onrushing Apocalypse. Can I bring my family out of the panic room now?

snooki vertical 220Not just yet. Were you aware that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, from “The Jersey Shore,” spoke at Rutgers University recently and the school paid her $32,000?