Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I notice you wrote about a Joe DiMaggio lookalike yesterday.
The lookalike game intrigues me. Can you provide some details, so I can see if I might want to pursue a career at that?
Sure, but who do you look like?
Me? Nobody yet, but I figured I’d take some courses or something.
Well, I think it helps if nature gives you a head start.
Like see, the people in these photos here look like Prince William and his fiancée, Kate Middleton, so they’re in for a great ride, eating free fried chicken at places that comp meals for members of the royal family.
But who hires lookalikes?
Lots of people. Journalists, for starters.
We shot this entire William and Kate lookalike wedding in London yesterday, totally bypassing the hassle of having to go to the real thing. Now we’ve got hundreds of shots ready to go when the big day comes, and we can just stay at home and drink good single malt Scotch!
Damn! I SO want in on that! How do you know so much about the lookalike business, anyway?
Sit down, Joe, I need to have a little talk with you.
Sure Boss, what is it?
I’ve heard reports that some of our lookalikes are fraternizing with the cutouts. I think you know we have a strict policy against that.
I can’t help myself, Boss. She’s just so tempting.
Then maybe you’re not cutout to be a lookalike, Joe.
But Boss! I’m the poster boy for lookalikes!
Well, you are a dead ringer for a dead player, I’ll give you that.
I sure am, Boss. I’m the – haaaaaarrrracchhhhhh – spitting image!
Johnson, get your butt into my office! Did you shoot those Paris Hilton events?
I sure did, Boss, I just got back.
So? Fill me in. Was it newsworthy?
I dunno. She mostly just made out with some guy.
Wait a minute, Johnson. She called the press in to watch her make out?
Yeah, I thought it was kind of nervy of her. He didn’t even try for second base.
Well, I’ll be! Maybe it’s the first time she’s ever been kissed?
Surprisingly, Hollywood has kept me at arm’s length, mostly through restraining orders, but that will change when they see my latest treatment for a TV sitcom.
“Michael, hold still so I can see myself in your fancy sunglasses. Do I have something between my teeth? I can feel it…”
“Ewwwww, Catherine! I told you not to have that spinach quiche for breakfast! Cripes! There’s a huge chunk of green stuff hanging out of your mouth!”
Blog Guy, I’m tired of striking out with the chicks. What do those big Hollywood stars have that I don’t have? Can you let us in on some of their secrets?
Sorry, I’m not supposed to reveal any of them.
Come on. It’s not like anybody else will see it here in your blog.
Okay. It’s mostly their hair. You take a big star like Sean Penn, he pays fifteen, maybe twenty bucks for a haircut, plus a tip.
Quick quiz: The resplendent full dress uniform seen above, with blue lapels, gleaming buttons and rank stripes on the sleeves, will be worn by…
a) the commander of the Sri Lankan navy.
b) members of the Raccoon Lodge.
c) Britain’s Prince William at his upcoming wedding.
d) waiters at a party for the Oscars.
Don’t feel bad, this one fooled me, too. These are indeed specially designed uniforms for waiters at the Governors Ball, part of the Academy Awards festivities.