Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Earn big money with a familiar face?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, I notice you wrote about a Joe DiMaggio lookalike yesterday.

The lookalike game intrigues me. Can you provide some details, so I can see if I might want to pursue a career at that?

faux wedding vertical 220Sure, but who do you look like?

Me? Nobody yet, but I figured I’d take some courses or something.

Well, I think it helps if nature gives you a head start.

Like see, the people in these photos here look like Prince William and his fiancée, Kate Middleton, so they’re in for a great ride, eating free fried chicken at places that comp meals for members of the royal family.

But who hires lookalikes?

Lots of people. Journalists, for starters.

We shot this entire William and Kate lookalike wedding in London yesterday, totally bypassing the hassle of having to go to the real thing. Now we’ve got hundreds of shots ready to go when the big day comes, and we can just stay at home and drink good single malt Scotch!

BRITAIN/Damn! I SO want in on that! How do you know so much about the lookalike business, anyway?

Is that chewing tobacco on my carpet?

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lookalike cutout 490

Sit down, Joe, I need to have a little talk with you.

lookalike cutout vertical 240Sure Boss, what is it?

I’ve heard reports that some of our lookalikes are fraternizing with the cutouts. I think you know we have a strict policy against that.

I can’t help myself, Boss. She’s just so tempting.

Then maybe you’re not cutout to be a lookalike, Joe.

But Boss! I’m the poster boy for lookalikes!

Well, you are a dead ringer for a dead player, I’ll give you that.

I sure am, Boss. I’m the – haaaaaarrrracchhhhhh – spitting image!

How’d you make out with that socialite?

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paris kiss this 490

Johnson, get your butt into my office! Did you shoot those Paris Hilton events?

I sure did, Boss, I just got back.

MEXICO/So? Fill me in. Was it newsworthy?

I dunno. She mostly just made out with some guy.

Wait a minute, Johnson. She called the press in to watch her make out?

Yeah, I thought it was kind of nervy of her. He didn’t even try for second base.

Well, I’ll be! Maybe it’s the first time she’s ever been kissed?

Two and a Half Morons?

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series combo 490

Faithful readers of this blog know that I have pitched some high-concept ideas for movies and television shows in the past, stories like The Love Market! and that extra bonus season of “24.”

NBA/Surprisingly, Hollywood has kept me at arm’s length, mostly through restraining orders, but that will change when they see my latest treatment for a TV sitcom.

It smells like Jennifer has been here…

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fragrance jennifer this 490

Blog Guy, I thought I saw a photo of Jennifer Aniston this week. Why is she in the news? Some kind of Nobel Prize deal or something?

MEXICO/Are you kidding? It’s HUGE! She launched her personal fragrance, “Jennifer Aniston,” in Mexico!

Fashion has its ups and downs…

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fashion elevators combo 490

Okay Lamar, you’ve done some pretty strange stuff to save money on our fashion shows, but this time I’m totally confused.

FRANCE-FASHION/What the hell are we doing gathered here with the fashion press in a posh hotel lobby?

Just like Kate, only different…

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, you gotta help me! I haven’t had a new photo of Kate Middleton for four days now. I need a fix, dude.

Hey, she’s Prince William’s fiancée. I don’t control her movements.

You ever try flossing, Catherine?

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zeta jones 490

“Michael, hold still so I can see myself in your fancy sunglasses. Do I have something between my teeth? I can feel it…”

FASHION-MICHAELKORS/“Ewwwww, Catherine! I told you not to have that spinach quiche for breakfast! Cripes! There’s a huge chunk of green stuff hanging out of your mouth!”

When celebrities cut their own hair…

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glamour penn 490

Blog Guy, I’m tired of striking out with the chicks. What do those big Hollywood stars have that I don’t have? Can you let us in on some of their secrets?

glamour combo 320Sorry, I’m not supposed to reveal any of them.

Come on. It’s not like anybody else will see it here in your blog.

Okay. It’s mostly their hair. You take a big star like Sean Penn, he pays fifteen, maybe twenty bucks for a haircut, plus a tip.

There’s something about a man in uniform

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OSCARS/

Quick quiz: The resplendent full dress uniform seen above, with blue lapels, gleaming buttons and rank stripes on the sleeves, will be worn by…

oscars raccoons 260a) the commander of the Sri Lankan navy.

b) members of the Raccoon Lodge.

c) Britain’s Prince William at his upcoming wedding.

d) waiters at a party for the Oscars.

Don’t feel bad, this one fooled me, too. These are indeed specially designed uniforms for waiters at the Governors Ball, part of the Academy Awards festivities.