Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
What a glittering evening this is, folks. The celebrities are arriving now for our Lux Style Awards. With us here is a man who came all the way from Hollywood to help set up our arrival festivities, and he’s the best in the business. Sir, what should we call you?
Lamar. Just Lamar.
And what do you think of our venue here, Lamar?
It’s quite modern. You’ve got the red carpet, the whole nine yards.
Oh, I believe it’s longer than that, Lamar. So give us some inside information about how you set up this arrival event.
Sure. See all those photographers? I put our brightest spotlights just over the red carpet. I tied our Klieg Lights to those decorative prongs hanging overhead.
But Lamar, that is our heat-activated sprinkler system. I hope your lights don’t get very hot, or…. OH NO! Here it comes! It’s gushing!
Okay, fellow Star Whackers, the reason for this emergency secret meeting is, we have a problem. A big one. Some guy seems to have found out about us, and he’s making statements to the media. Lamar, have you dug up anything on him?
Yeah Boss, he’s an actor named Randy Quaid. He and his wife have requested asylum in Canada to protect themselves from us. They say other stars have been murdered, and now we’re after them.
Blog Guy, I’m a big fan of actor Matt Damon. He’s just great in everything, and so cute. What’s he like in real life?
He’s a wild man. I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but when he’s on location shooting his movies he spends his off hours with every hussy, floozy, doxy and trollop he can find.
Blog Guy, it’s me, your editor. Did you see that incredible season finale of the hit series Mad Men, with that cliffhanger where Don Draper…
Stop, Boss! We don’t allow spoilers here.
Oh. Anyway, I was thinking since your last blog of the season is coming up, you could end it with some cliffhangers so people would come back next season.
Okay, screenwriters, this movie footage is solid gold! Imagine, Arnold Schwarzenegger in a car with actual Russian President Dmitry Medvedev. It’s priceless!
Your job is to spin this little video clip into our next summer blockbuster sequel, “T5: The Terminator Kicks Russian Butt!”
Blog Guy, I’m confused. A couple of months ago you did an item sort of poking fun at all the free publicity Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz were getting just by going from city to city promoting the premiere of some new movie.
Yes, I remember. We covered them at premieres in at least six cities, way back in July. Why do you mention it now?
Blog Guy, I know a lot of big fashion shows are coming up, and you need to pay more attention to shoes! What about London Fashion week, which is going on right now?
You’re right, I’ve neglected shoes, but I’ll change. Here are some radical, cutting edge shoes for women bold enough to wear them. Why, in my opinion… What? Uh-oh!
Blog Guy, you haven’t updated us on your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop in Washington, DC, for some time. Last we heard, it was poised to take off. So what’s new there?
Lots! HUGE stuff! Our expensive marketing consultant wants us to change Doughnut Shop to Doughnut Shoppe in the name, to make it classier.