Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Blog Guy, I need some travel advice. I’m going to New York City this week, and I want to make sure I see the city’s famous magical Christmas window displays. I know about Bloomingale’s, Macy’s, Tiffany, but I don’t want to miss anything. What’s the very best holiday window display?
You must see the one at Fifth Avenue and 38th Street, where models are stripping down to their underwear and lounging around in a store window with lots of skin showing, attracting huge holiday crowds.
What a great way to get into the Christmas spirit!
Yeah, I don’t know the exact details so I’m just making up this part, but I think the shop owner was trying to save a few bucks by not building dressing rooms for his models in the store. He just sent them to a storefront window and told them to change there, and suddenly men began coming from all the New York Boroughs and even New Jersey to see the holiday miracle. Who could have guessed that something like that would be of interest?
Wow, that’s a feel-good story for the ages, Blog Guy! What a heartwarming movie it would make!
Blog Guy, you’ve written a lot about tribute bands imitating The Beatles’ great Abbey Road album and its iconic cover. I’m hearing rumors of a newly discovered Christmas version of the album the group did 40 years ago.
It’s true, right down to a Santa cover and jolly holiday versions of each song.
Blog Guy, I need Christmas gift shopping advice for my boyfriend. I want something really special. Help!
How about a new Beamer?
No, he already drives a Lexus and loves it.
Not a Bemer, a BEAMER! The hot new gadget this season is the Bikini Beamer 3000, which beams bikini-clad models right to his bachelor pad, in minutes.
Well fashion fans, it won’t be long now. It’s the evening of the big Victoria’s Secret annual holiday fashion show. I mean, most of YOU won’t see it today, because it won’t be aired for a couple of weeks, but we’ll have lots of still photos for you and if you flip through them real fast, it’s just like being there.
Here, one of them is seen loading up on the six and a half calories she gets every day. I can’t quite tell what this slop is, but it’s not fried onion rings and doughnuts, I’ll tell you that.
Blog Guy, what do you think of the huge musical news for this season?
It’s amazing, huh?
Oh, that. I thought you were talking about those European soccer coaches recording all the great Righteous Brothers hits – “Unchained Melody,” “You’ve Lost that Lovin’ Feelin’,” etc… Those coaches can really belt it out.
Soccer coaches? Righteous Brothers? This is just too stupid, even for you!
Fine, but I’ve already pre-ordered mine. It’s a tribute to Phil Spector, the Righteous Brothers’ legendary producer who of course is now in prison for murder.
******Blog Guy, I was happy to see you’ve officially kicked off the holiday shopping season with that serial killer merchandise. ******As long as you’re in the mood to offer tips, what should I get for my nephew? He’s into gardening and Nazi politics? Any ideas?******You bet. try this place in Germany that seems to specialize in outdoor Hitler garden stuff. Does your nephew already have a garden gnome giving a Hitler salute?******Hmmm. I don’t believe so. What a wonderful holiday idea. Do they sell these Hitler gnomes lots of places?******No, Führer and Führer these days…***
****** Plastic garden dwarves with their arms outstretched in the stiff-armed Hitler salute, are pictured on the main square in Straubing, Germany, as part of the art installation ‘Dance with the Devil’ by German artist Ottmar Hoerl October 15, 2009. REUTERS/Michael Dalder***
The holidays are rushing at us, and if you’re like me, nothing says “Peace on Earth” like the topic of serial killers. So you’ll be happy to know that the 2010 Serial Killer Calendar is now available if you’re looking for a gift for Uncle Lamar, who broke out of maximum security and is knocking on your door with an ax.
I am not making this up. You really can get the calendar online, and at some pretty respectable bookshops.
Please don’t let me be the only one who thinks this is ironic.
I’m reading financial stories this week, and suddenly I see this headline: “Credit limits, self-discipline threaten holiday sales.” Did I wander onto The Onion site?
I swear I’m not making this up. Damn you, self-discipline! Damn you, credit limits!
Say, Roy, you got any kids?
Yeah, three. My daughter’s a professor at NYU, my son’s an economist, and my other son’s studying to be Satan. We’re real proud of…
Excuse me, Roy. Did you say Satan?
Yeah, they got a School for Satan over there someplace. It’s sort of like a Santa Claus deal – Satan has a lot of little helpers.
Blog Guy, you’re the person I always come to for fashion advice.
That’s pretty sad.
Anyway, my husband gave me a Japanese kimono for Christmas, and I’m not exactly sure where I could wear it.
I searched our photo files for the past couple of days, and it turns out there are two things you can do with a kimono. First, you can put it on your dog.