Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Step right up for the Creep Show Hall of Fame!
Blog Guy, I know it’s only November, but I’m wondering how you’re coming along in your search for the blog’s coveted Creep Show of the Year Award.
Oh, don’t worry about that, it’s a done deal. It’s a Creep-o-Rama, Creep-a-Palooza…
See, Russian police have arrested a man described by local media as the “cemetery collector” for digging up 29 corpses and dressing the remains in female clothing to display around his apartment.
Holy Crap! Do we know anything about the guy?
Well, friends described him as “eccentric.”
Are you making that up?
No.
So is the winner coming to Washington for the big awards banquet?
You bet. We’re having it at a hotel over near Arlington National Cemetery. He says he wants to bring some “friends.”
Creepy gets a whole lot creepier
Okay, this story is so disturbing I’m not sure where to begin.
A city in Turkey has equipped the local morgue with the latest gadgetry in case any of the bodies stored there have been declared dead by mistake.
It seems alarms and motion detectors in the mortuary will detect the slightest movement if one of the bodies emerges from a coma or unconsciousness.
Giving us the creeps?
Blog Guy, last week you wrote about an opinion poll naming Casey Anthony the “most hated person in America.”
You said of the people who had heard of her, 94 percent didn’t like her. But you also said that 57 percent found her creepy. Was that a different poll?
The folks you love to hate?
Blog Guy, you haven’t written about any new signs of that onrushing Apocalypse recently. Is it safe to come out of the panic room?
No, you just stay put in there. An actual opinion poll informs us that Casey Anthony is now “the most hated person in America.”
Creepy just got creepier…
Blog Guy, are you still setting up fantasy photos for your readers?
Yes, when I’m in the mood. What do you have in mind?
I want a hotel suite with chocolate furniture, chocolate art and a chocolate wall, with a chocolate guy reclining in bed, wearing only his underpants and eating ice cream on a stick.
Say, you’re kind of strange, aren’t you?
No, I like to think I’m just a normal reader.
Yeah? I like to think I’m the President of Honduras. So apart from this nasty chocolate guy, could you possibly make the scene any creepier?
You lookin’ at me?
Hey Clancy, thanks for gettin’ us into that party, but I must say it creeped me out a little.
Really, Lamar? What was wrong?
Are you kidding me, Clancy? That one chick had her eye on me all evening.
I guess I didn’t notice her. Was it the brunette in the skullcap?
Nope, it was another one. She had me in her mind’s eye, for sure.
And another creepy thing was that strange chick who paid that short guy with the elbow-length rubber gloves to walk behind her as part of her outfit.
Fashion creations to die for?
Okay Lamar, business hasn’t picked up at all, so I hope you REALLY saved money on today’s fashion show. We’re just about broke.
Don’t worry, Boss, this one is practically a freebie.
Do tell.
For starters, the dress we’re showing was made entirely with 40 starched linen napkins and some super-glue. The model was a really good sport.
So you guys work out, or what?
Say, you guys are kinda cute! You come here often?
Eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
I see. Yeah, I’ve heard this is a bodybuilder bar, is that what you boys do?
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
Well, you have real sweet smiles, both of you. No wonder the girls all love this place. Some of those other bars are so stuffy, making guys wear shirts and pants!
I’d run a million miles, from one of your smiles…
Blog Guy, I haven’t seen you hanging out much for the last few days. Did you take a vacation?
Nah, I’ve been barricaded in my house, ever since I saw a smile that really creeped me out.
Have yourself a creepy little Christmas?
Blog Guy, I loved reading that you have too much Christmas spirit. This is most wonderful time of the year, right? Don’t you just LOVE all the Christmas songs?
Well, yes, all except the creepy ones.
I wasn’t aware that there are any creepy ones.
Then you haven’t been paying attention. Over the past 500 years some pretty sick stuff has flown in under the “Peace on Earth” radar.
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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