Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

We return now to the Wide World of Brainless Sports!

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Color me embarrassed. We had a PRETTY BAD error on our file, and is our policy, we had to publicly correct it. It seems we reported that Bulgarian prosecutors are investigating a new gambling game in which drivers defy death by speeding through red lights for bets of up to $2,200.

In a game known as ‘Russian road roulette,’ the driver must jump red lights at busy intersections at high speed and not crash into any other cars or pedestrians.

Imagine doing something that stupid for $2,200!

Well, it soon became clear we had it all wrong. It turned out, drivers are playing this game for bets of up to $7,400, which is a lot different from doing it just for chump change like $2,200.

But as insane as this game still sounds, the most amazing part to me is that according to our story, ONLOOKERS bet on the outcome, too!

What do you call that dance, sir?

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Blog Guy, you’ve been great about career advice, especially offering tips to help figure out if people may have chosen the wrong line of work. Keep it coming, please.Sure. Are you leaving on a business trip? Take off your clothes, look in a full-length mirror and count the number of live python snakes you see taped to your body in stockings.If it’s more than say, two or three, maybe you should be looking on monster.com for a new job.Pythons?  What kind of imbecile would tape that many pythons to his body?The Norwegian kind of imbecile. Customs officials stopped a guy with a tarantula in his bag, so they decided to give him the full body treatment. They found FOURTEEN pythons taped to him.Yikes! I wonder why he didn’t go for 20?Because that would have gotten in the way of the 10 lizards hidden in cans that were also taped to him.Blog Guy, you like this story, don’t you? And if I know you, you’re holding back something that’s even better.Well yes, there was a wonderful quote in one of the papers that covered the story.An official was quoted as saying,  “Customs officers quickly realized the man was smuggling animals, because his whole body was in constant motion.”Duh, I guess it would be! Well, here’s your problem right here, sir!

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Top left: A customs officer presents a live chameleon during a news conference in a 2007 file photo. Customs officers displayed various items and reptiles that had been confiscated while being illegally smuggled into Germany. REUTERS/Alex GrimmTop right: Australian native geckos concealed in a hollowed out book which were seized by Customs officials are seen in a 2008 photo. REUTERS/Australian Customs/HandoutRight: A zookeeper measures a royal python during animal stock-taking at the Zoo in Hanover, Germany, in a 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Fabrizio Bensch (GERMANY)

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Watch out! Number four is gonna blow!

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Blog Guy, I’m curious about the psychology of fashion models. Do they just wear anything they’re given, or do they have strong personal feelings about the creations?

That is a very astute question. Usually, a model wears any piece of rancid garbage some nutjob designer wraps around her wispy body.

Slay bells ring, are ya listenin’?

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The holidays are rushing at us, and if you’re like me, nothing says “Peace on Earth” like the topic of serial killers. So you’ll be happy to know that the 2010 Serial Killer Calendar is now available if you’re looking for a gift for Uncle Lamar, who broke out of maximum security and is knocking on your door with an ax.

I am not making this up. You really can get the calendar online, and at some pretty respectable bookshops.

A fashion taboo bites the dust…

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Blog Guy, you know all the dark secrets of the designer fashion business, and it’s time to admit a fatal flaw.

I agree completely. Uh, which fatal flaw do you mean?


Oh please. There is a certain group in our society that is shunned. Due to petty prejudices, they are not allowed to create designs for the big fashion shows. You MUST know who I mean!

Just 24 beers? How about two dozen, instead?

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I’m sorry sir, but you can’t drive that tow-truck full of beer onto the motor racing grounds, I’m afraid. It’s over the posted limit.

Limit? Limit? But it’s BEER!

I understand, sir, but this year, racing fans coming to the Bathurst 1000 will be limited to only 24 cans of beer a day. We don’t want folks getting drunk.

Baby, you’re the stupidest!

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Blog Guy, I’m tired of dating smart chicks. Where can I find some stupid ones?

I can’t help you. The ones I know, especially those who read my blog, are very smart.

Ya want me back in the shower, Mr. Hitchcock?

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“Ding-dong!”

“Dear, one of the young ladies from that Manson family up the street is here selling homemade lunchmeat! Can she put us down for some?”

Okay, that was an imaginary conversation. But this photo here, which I have artfully censored, is an actual “creation” from a fashion collection in Milan this week. I did not make it up.

Lookin’ for my Luger, Sugar?

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Blog Guy, recently you blogged about that Oktoberfest thing in Germany – you know, the party with all the beer and the women with those huge, uh, mugs? I saw a travel ad for it that said, “Come to Germany and get frisky!”

I think you misread that. It said, “Come to Germany and get FRISKED.”

Golly, I don’t have enough pockets for all my cash!

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If  you get all of your fashion guidance from this blog – and boy, you should be easy to spot in a crowd – you know I pay close attention to police decoy fashions.

Tempting bad guys to commit crimes is a challenge in our litigious society. So as usual, I’m attending the annual “Hook ‘em and Book ‘em.”