Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Stand up, Mr. Spector. Oh, sorry!

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Well, Madison Avenue gets screwed again!

Below, you can see photos of music legend Phil Spector released by corrections officials, without any of his numerous wigs, as he begins a sentence of 19 years to life for the 2003 murder of an actress.

But WAIT! The caption warns that these photos can’t be used for advertising campaigns.

Just suck it up, all you ad agencies champing at the bit to feature a bald, 69-year-old murderer to sell your Dentine or Lucky Charms or whatever.

Sorry, that goes for you guys with the Hair Club for Men advertising account, too.

Hey, it’s a brand-new freedom!

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A guy has been sentenced to five months in jail for snatching the toupee off the head of a politician. Five months, and I’m not making that up.

The court’s reasoning was that the wig-grabber deprived the lawmaker of his “freedom to look good.”

I’ll take the Old Testament for $500, Alex!

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Okay, so they’ve appointed this new crime czar over in the West African nation of Guinea, to oversee the fight against drugs and serious crime.

Guys like that always call for more police, more convictions, blah blah blah. So let’s listen in and see what this dude, Captain Moussa Tiegboro Camara, suggests for fighting criminals.

What year is this again?

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Occasionally I do an item here having nothing remotely to do with humor, if it fits into a theme I call “Remind me what year this is, please?”

Right now, several people are on trial in the African country of Burundi, charged with murdering albinos to sell their body parts for use in witchcraft.

Is that Officer Roy firing at us?

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For those of you still placing bets on the arrival of the Apocalypse, hurry up. It’s almost here.

These are police at “advanced motorcycle training.” I guessed it was a special squad trained to protect us from the growing threat of two-dimensional billboard art, but I was wrong.

You won’t talk? Maybe Mandy can change your mind!

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Blog Guy, there is a lot of discussion about torture these days, you know?

And you want to add your thoughtful opinion to the debate?

No, I want to get me some torture stuff! Where can I do that?

Ah. Implements of torture are widely available. Many CD shops sell Barry Manilow music over-the-counter. And some disreputable groceries will even sell you brussels sprouts.

What if I want something even worse?

A collection of more than 250 antique torture devices is to be sold soon in New York City. To get around possible ethical issues, the seller promises an UNDISCLOSED percentage of the profits will go to charities fighting torture.

April bests: why are you smiling?

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My blog’s traffic stats have been tabulated for April, and I’m proud of the results.

The diverse subject matter in the top five posts shows readers are coming here for news they can’t get anyplace else.

Who was that masked man? And where’s my Rolex?

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Hello, police? I need to report a robbery. My department store was robbed today. They took a bunch of wristwatches from our jewelry department.

Did I get a look at the thieves? You bet! They were wearing surgical masks.

What? Did I notice every person on the street today? Now that you mention it, they WERE all wearing surgical masks!  Oh, right - the flu.

Harry Potter and the murder rap?

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Quick quiz: These smiling, fresh-faced kids…

a) Have been cast to star in a new Harry Potter movie.

b) Were accepted to the leafy New England college of their choice.

c) Are going to the senior prom together.

d) Seem to really be enjoying their murder trial.

If you guessed the murder trial you win, although the reason for the smiles is a mystery to me.

The two, Amanda Knox and Raffaele Sollecito, have been on trial for several weeks, and some of these happy snaps were taken as recently as today. Whenever we get new photos from the court, I marvel again at the degree of levity.

Miracle bras: hooters and shooters?

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You may have seen that story about a Detroit woman whose bra  deflected a bullet shot at her as she witnessed a burglary, saving her from more serious injury.

Every guy of a certain age will immediately think of Wonder Woman. I know, it was really BRACELETS that protected Wonder Woman from bullets, but guys looked at that red and gold bra on Lynda Carter and KNEW it did something miraculous.