Oddly Enough Blog

Fake? Then why is it signed?

March 20, 2008

picasso-160.jpgI’m ruined. The Feds have busted a ring of crooks they say were selling fake art on eBay, which of course is where my entire collection came from. It seemed so safe! Most great art changes hands over the Internet. Where do you think the Louvre gets its stuff, anyway?

Put your cash in my Prada purse!

March 19, 2008

bag-140.jpgBlog guy, me and some other women are thinking about turning to crime to pick up some extra summer vacation money, but we don’t know what to wear. Is anybody addressing this niche market?

Snow rage: do you get my DRIFT?

March 12, 2008

If I told you white powder was driving citizens to sudden violent acts, you’d probably picture guys fighting over cocaine someplace way south, as temperatures hit 100 degrees. Well, check your stereotypes at the door. This is Quebec City, one of the quaintest, most civilized places in North America, home of great food and cobblestone streets.

Don’t show your face here again!

February 11, 2008

I hate to break it to those of you who have real eyes and mouths and stuff, but faces are out. They are so yesterday! Look at this “creation.” This lady can go straight from the Federal Witness Protection Program to host a network talk show, with no danger she’ll be recognized. 

I’m Toothache Man! You know the drill!

February 4, 2008

toothache-3-180.jpgMemo to comic book staff: We’ve used every possible premise in creating new super crime fighters, so we’re down to Toothache Man.

“Hey Boss! Check out the milksop!”

January 25, 2008

It’s time again to unveil the latest outfits that well-dressed police decoys will wear as they try to entice criminals. This one is ingenious, designed to set up this season’s opening line of choice:

Pouting bikini models behind bars…

January 17, 2008

“Connie, we have a huge problem. Some of the models are complaining that our outfits are too stupid-looking to wear in the fashion show. One of them said you want her to go out in a bikini, patterned stockings, boots, gloves, a jewelled purse and necklace. That does sound kind of lame to me…

Rotten to the corpse?

January 11, 2008

corpse-300.jpgTwo guys are pushing a dead man in an office chair, see, trying to cash his Social Security check, and… No, that’s not a joke, it really happened in New York.

This bathroom door is just painted on!

January 4, 2008

I hate to say I told you so, but it was just two months ago that a reader was tempted by glossy brochures about jobs in the exciting world of drug-smuggling homemade submarines. I advised him against it in a post called “Gosh, this sub really dives fast!”

Joey! Don’t open those shutters!

December 28, 2007

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
Then something happened that day in December,
It must be too awful for me to remember…