Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Cruising the bars for romance?

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If you go looking for romance online, there’s always a chance the person you choose may be a dangerous criminal, guilty of Lord-knows-what heinous crimes.

Why take that risk, when now you can go to www.hotprisonpals.com and remove all doubt?

That’s right. this Website offers personal ads from some of America’s most desirable felons, currently residing behind bars. And while you may not know exactly what they did to get there, the release dates in their biographies could offer some clues. For instance, a prisoner in Florida wants someone who writes “sensual erotic letters,” and lists his release date as November, 2050, when he will be about 90. He probably isn’t in there for parking violations.

As the guy who runs the site explains, the prisoners aren’t required to list their crimes. “We take everybody. If they are murderers or rapists they are not going to put that in the ad,” he says. Rosalind Russell reports: prison.jpg

Chicanery chic…

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Dear Blog Guy,
I’m a crook who happens to be a woman, and nobody seems to care if we have anything fashionable to wear. We enjoy looking nice too, you know, and I think I should have options other than a darned stocking mask. Do I have to break into a designer shop and put something together for myself?
Rita Bandita

No, Rita, it looks as though the fashion industry is finally starting to notice our important criminal element, as you can see with this creation from Sao Paulo Fashion Week.

Hey! If you can’t trust a kidnap victim, who can you trust?

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Even though it isn’t quite the end of the month, I’m going to announce the winners of the Dumbest Criminals competition for January. Before you other dumb criminals say that’s unfair and start complaining, listen to this.

It seems these two guys kidnapped a woman and sent her into a bank with orders to withdraw money. So far, that’s a fairly standard crime. But here’s where the Olympic Gold Medal dumbness come in, as reported by WSB-TV, in Atlanta.

Well, the money is nice, and the clothes, and the food…

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Even if you’re tired of endless surveys, this one is worth a look. According to a new one in South Korea, gangsters get more satisfaction from their line of work than the police do.

Oh, and did I mention that the gangsters who were surveyed were in JAIL?

That’s right.  The guys sitting in prison were happier than the guys who put them there. It turns out, 79.3 percent of gangsters said they were somewhat or very satisfied with their life in organized crime, compared with about 65 percent of police.  

Dude, I could use some cookies… and ice cream… and…

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When officials seize four TONS of marijuana from two boats off the Mexican coast, they have to get rid of it somehow, and that means a big fire and lots of smoke. And they have to guard it while it’s burning, and that means troops, and a lot of stuff to munch on…

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A Mexican marine stands guard in front of about 4 tons of marijuana being incinerated at a naval base in Topolobambo in the north western Mexican state of Sinaloa, January 25, 2007. REUTERS/Daniel Aguilar

They found him through the Yellow Pages?

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As you may recall from a posting here a few days ago, this guy walked out of a pub with its urinal, which he had hidden in his rucksack, leaving some pretty uncomfortable drinkers in his wake.

Good news. The guy turned himself – and the urinal – over to police, saying he had taken it as a souvenir. 

Our cure for low self esteem…

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Here’s a chance to catch up on some of the oddest news of 2006.  But more importantly, it is your opportunity to feel good about yourself, and who doesn’t need that sometimes? 

You should feel superior if you didn’t leave your fingertip behind in an attempted burglary, or commit a crime while flashing a fake ID bearing Brad Pitt’s photo, or fail to pay for plastic surgery, only to see your surgeon send out photos of your enlarged breasts in the form of a “wanted” poster to help police track you down.

Shouldn’t robbing convenience stores be more convenient?

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Everybody knows I love dumb criminal stories, and here are two great ones.

For starters there was the robber in Canada, who had just about everything go wrong that could go wrong. While trying to rob a convenience store he slammed the till with an aluminum baseball bat, jamming it before the clerk could open it.

It gets a lot worse, especially the part where the clerk escapes and bars the robber from leaving through the doors, and then the part where the robber escapes by the roof but then crashes through the store’s ceiling. The only good news is, he wasn’t the dumbest cook of the week.

I’d like a copy of “Eduardo is the Murderer,” please…

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Human nature never ceases to amaze me. A new study shows that people with low self-esteem enjoy mysteries that confirm their suspicions in the end, while those with higher self-esteem prefer a surprise ending.

People with low self-esteem like to feel they knew all along who committed the crime, probably because it makes them feel smarter, said Silvia Knobloch-Westerwick, who co-authored the study.

And the least likely thing to happen this week is…

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You remember Mehmet Ali Agca, the guy who tried to kill Pope John Paul II, right? Well, he has requested a day’s leave from jail this week. Why?  It turns out the new pope is in Turkey, and Agca would like to meet with him.

I’m not making this up. Agca says he would like to meet with Pope Benedict, to discuss  “theological issues.”