Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Some guys in Amsterdam had planned to roll and smoke the world’s largest joint, but they cancelled at the last minute because they realized they might be breaking the law.
See, they had thought it would be legal to smoke a five-foot-long joint containing more than a pound of marijuana, if each person just brought a tiny amount and they put it all together, but that turned out not to be the case.
We have now read the small print and realize there could be problems, one of the organizers was quoted as saying after consulting Dutch drugs laws.
A prohibition sign prohibiting marijuana smoking in public is seen in the district of De Baarsjes in Amsterdam February 2, 2006. REUTERS/Paul Vreeker
Okay, you’re a carpenter in India. You steal a million bucks worth of diamonds from a jewelry shop you’re working on, and the last thing you want to do is attract suspicion.
So naturally, you sell some of the diamonds, get drunk, go to a dance bar and tip the band lavishly to play the same song, over and over and over. You have them play the Bollywood song Humko Deewana Kar Gaye repeatedly, not for one night, not for two, but for three nights.
If you were a deadbeat businessman, behind in paying your taxes, which of these methods do you think would be more effective in getting you to pay up?
a) the authorities take you to court, freeze your assets and confiscate your belongings
b) the authorities send singing and dancing eunuchs to your place of business to embarrass you into paying
As wanted posters go, these are fairly unusual. A German plastic surgeon who was cheated out of payment by several women whose breasts he enlarged has given pictures of the results to police, in the hope that the photos will help trace them.
The women registered under fake names, Michael Koenig, a surgeon in Cologne, told Bild newspaper. After the operations, which lasted about an hour, they just ran away.
It turns out three men who have been charged with attempting to rob a grave were doing so because one of them had seen the dead woman’s obit photo and wanted to have sex with her body, according to a story in the Wisconsin State Journal.
The story, by Doug Erickson, quoted police as saying the men had stopped at a Wal-Mart and bought condoms before heading to the cemetery.
This could be the most shocking story of the year. We can only hope. The “We’re not in Kansas anymore” award goes to India, where a sting operation found doctors apparently agreeing to amputate the healthy limbs of beggars, so they would be more sympathetic.
“Believe me if there are two beggars in front of you and one of them is lame, you will give the money to the lame beggar,” the sting operation recorded one doctor as saying.
Everybody’s big fear, with every leap of technology, is that Big Brother will spy on all that we do. But it turns out, for the really dumb people, he won’t even have to bother.
I’m not making this up. This doofus takes a photo of the speedometer on his motorbike showing 170 kph (105 mph), and posts it on the Internet. Pretty soon he gets a visit from the police, who don’t just bust him for speeding – they also can’t help noticing his bike was imported illegally…
Regular readers know we just love stories about dimwitted criminals, and this is one of my favorites. This guy has been arrested for trying to fleece a money exchanger, by using an ID card bearing somebody else’s photo. Oh yeah — did I mention that the guy, who is Jordanian, used a picture of Brad Pitt?
When he was caught, the man told police that he did not know whose picture he had downloaded from the Internet. Imagine his surprise when he sees “Fight Club” on movie night in prison.
This is great stuff. A neighborhood in Sydney is fighting to take its streets back from hoods and low-lifes by using the one thing they fear most: Barry Manilow music.
Officials plan to pipe the Manilow music through loudspeakers in hopes that lyrics like ”…but I sent you away…” will do just that.