Man, the actual news is so goofy this week, I don’t even have to invent my own.
Why me, Lord, why ME?
Okay, film production staff, as you know, we signed Lindsay Lohan to a huge three-movie deal and we’re about to begin production. Then, yesterday, a judge ruled that she has to wear this big black butt-ugly alcohol monitoring device on her ankle, 24/7, to make sure she doesn’t drink any booze. It NEVER comes off.