Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Step right up for the Creep Show Hall of Fame!

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Blog Guy, I know it’s only November, but I’m wondering how you’re coming along in your search for the blog’s coveted Creep Show of the Year Award.

Oh, don’t worry about that, it’s a done deal. It’s a Creep-o-Rama, Creep-a-Palooza…

See, Russian police have arrested a man described by local media as the “cemetery collector” for digging up 29 corpses and dressing the remains in female clothing to display around his apartment.

Holy Crap! Do we know anything about the guy?

Well, friends described him as “eccentric.”

Are you making that up?

No.

So is the winner coming to Washington for the big awards banquet?

You bet. We’re having it at a hotel over near Arlington National Cemetery. He says he wants to bring some “friends.”

Playing Pachelbel’s Cannon at my funeral?

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Blog Guy, not to bring up a depressing topic, but have you made plans for what will be done with your body when you die?

I’m arranging that now, thanks to several readers who sent me info about a company called Holy Smoke. They put your cremated ashes into shotgun shells or rifle cartridges, so your friends can shoot you off. Even in death, you can be helping to kill some poor creature.

Creepy gets a whole lot creepier

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Okay, this story is so disturbing I’m not sure where to begin.

A city in Turkey has equipped the local morgue with the latest gadgetry in case any of the bodies stored there have been declared dead by mistake.

It seems alarms and motion detectors in the mortuary will detect the slightest movement if one of the bodies emerges from a coma or unconsciousness.

Let’s do something spontaneous, Baby!

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Hey Blog Guy, how come you’re sitting in that huge tub of ice cubes up to your neck?

That’s my new “home.” I eat, sleep and blog here, under constant monitoring.

See ya later, crocodile!

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Mr. Johnson, we’re here to apply for one of those “Zoo Performer” jobs you advertised. Can you tell us a little about what we’d have to do?

Sure thing, Chris. You stick your head in a crocodile’s mouth for the amusement of zoo visitors.

The unpaid working for the undead?

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Blog Guy, I really want to get into the movie business. Can you help me out?

I suppose I can pull a few strings and get you an unpaid production assistant job on “World War Z,” that new zombie movie starring Brad Pitt.

Wow! I would get to be Brad Pitt’s assistant?

Slow down, Speedy! No, you get to assist the zombies. Stack them in a truck, drive them from scene to scene, use a pitchfork to put them where they belong, and so on.

Political debate: hanging on every word?

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ITALY-BERLUSCONI/SCANDAL

Blog Guy, as an American I get very frustrated watching our lawmakers at work. Is this typical of legislative bodies? Is it better in other countries?

It’s even worse in other places. You take Italy, where this week they debated whether to allow the offices of their prime minister’s accountant to be searched.

Fashion creations to die for?

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fashion napkins this 490

Okay Lamar, business hasn’t picked up at all, so I hope you REALLY saved money on today’s fashion show. We’re just about broke.

fashion ghost 240Don’t worry, Boss, this one is practically a freebie.

Do tell.

For starters, the dress we’re showing was made entirely with 40 starched linen napkins and some super-glue. The  model was a really good sport.

Are you high yet? Snort some more…

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Welcome back to our regular feature, Human Remains in the News.

It seems burglars tried snorting the cremated remains of a man and two dogs, taken from a Florida home,  in the mistaken belief that the ashes were drugs.

MEXICO/I swear I am not making this up. The ashes were stolen a month ago, along with some other stuff, and police learned about the snorting this week when they arrested five teens in connection with another burglary attempt.

“I thought I’d die laughing!”

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laughs obama service 490

Quick quiz: These photos show President Barack Obama, former President Bill Clinton and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton laughing their butts off at…

laughs obama clintons 320a) Former President George W. Bush doing a dramatic live reading from his new book, “Decision Points”