Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

You got STUFF twirling in your head?

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Okay, I’m sorry, I can’t even begin to improve on this video clip.

In an interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinal, Republican presidential hopeful Herman Cain is asked whether he agreed with President Obama on Libya.

“Okay, Libya…” Cain says, like a sixth-grader pausing before spelling Mississippi. He adjusts a bottle of water for no apparent reason.

After making sure we’re all talking about the same Libya, Cain says, “I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason.” Then, amazingly, he stops himself, waves his hand and says, “No, that’s a different one.”

Libya, Herman. It’s been in the news, I’m pretty sure.

After that, it gets worse. “I got all this stuff twirling around in my head,” Cain says.

Let’s see, governor, there’s Moe, Curly and…

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It’s supposed to be the fourth thing that slips your mind. You know, you go to the store and remember the tuna fish and floor wax and avocados, but not the toilet paper.

But ANYBODY can remember three things.

Anybody but Texas Governor Rick Perry, that is. He declared at last night’s Republican debate that he planned to eliminate three government agencies but then could only remember two of them, Commerce and Education.

Maybe the worst idea EVER?

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People ask me where I get all the stupid stuff in this blog, and I have to say, honestly, the best of it is straight out of the news.

Here’s an example. According to an Associated Press story, officials in Georgia are considering saving money by putting prisoners in fire stations.

It’s just like in the disaster movies!

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Boss, can you hear me? It’s me, Johnson! Oh, it’s still night-time in LA? Sorry to wake you up, but I’ve got great news!

You remember you sent me to scout around for the next big “King Kong” sort of movie?

Don’t look up, it’s NUTTY in the sky!

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I used to pride myself on having the goofiest content on reuters.com, but then this week I took a look at our space news, and saw what real scientists are telling us.

For instance, did you know astronauts had  to take refuge aboard the International Space Station’s “lifeboat” crafts yesterday?  The Russian space agency said “space trash” was passing very close to the station.

Where the wild things are?

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Okay, do I have to solve everybody’s problems all by myself?

We have a real news story saying more and more zoos are allowing visitors to spend the night, so they can learn “what happens when the gates slam shut, the sun goes down and the moon rises…”

Really? Again we are faced with schemes created by people who obviously have never seen real-life adventure movies such as “Jurassic Park” or “Snakes on a Plane.”

The very worst contest idea EVER?

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I’m afraid this isn’t going to end well.

A company that makes bug spray has launched “a nationwide search for America’s biggest bug,” and they are offering cash prizes. I am not making this up.

“Got a roach the size of a small dog…a beetle the size of a van…” the contest site asks innocently enough.

Come over to my yard for a fling?

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FOOD-SUMMIT/

Man, I love it when true stuff is stranger than anything I could make up for my blog. I mean, it’s like having a day off.

So I’m looking at an e-mail from the Pottery Barn folks, and down below the duvet covers and patchwork quilts I see something called Safety Recall Information. It informs me the chain is recalling a hammock stand.

Merlot on the go?

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BELARUS/

Blog Guy, like many of your readers I’m looking for a new and interesting career. I like to drive, I like retail work, and I enjoy making people happy. Any ideas?

I may have just the thing. How would you like to drive a van around and stop to sell wine to people?

There were no floats? I didn’t notice!

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BRAZIL/

Okay, it seems a large fire swept through Rio de Janeiro’s Carnival center this week, “destroying thousands of costumes and floats and throwing preparations for Brazil’s annual festival of hedonism into chaos.”

BRAZIL-CARNIVAL/I know this is a serious thing. They work pretty hard all year long on that stuff, and Carnival starts in three weeks.