Oddly Enough Blog

The best goofy but true stories from 2011

As I said recently in a post which began a countdown to tomorrow’s final entry in this blog, one of the things I have enjoyed most is presenting stories that are goofy but true.

Sure, it’s fun to make up funny stuff and riff on news photos, but real life often finds a way to top me.

Here are my seven favorite TRUE stories featured in my blog this year.

7. Come over to my yard for a fling?

We’ve had fun with an epidemic of consumer product recalls this year, but I still break out laughing over this one, a hammock that was recalled because its wooden stand may break ““if left outdoors.”

6. Wouldn’t hanging them be more humane?

What year is it again?

Welcome back to a regular feature we call, “What Year is it Again?” in which we relate true events that make us question whether we’ve gone back in time for decades, maybe even centuries.

For instance, I was looking at a very nice photo series about guide dogs in Peru, but I noticed the captions said that shops, banks and buses don’t allow blind people to enter with their guide dogs.

Thinking this must be some mistake, because my smart phone tells me we’re living in the year 2011, I checked further.

Our photographer told me that indeed, guide dogs are a new phenomenon in Peru. So naturally, instead of checking in with other countries that have used these amazing animals forever, the locals just made rules against them. I guess that’s a lot easier.

Our photographer saw blind people mistreated and denied service a number of times.

One woman with a guide dog had to take a bus to the Andes to give a workshop for the blind, but the ticket seller said her dog would have to be stowed in the luggage compartment, underneath.

I Hope You’re Proud Of Yourself!

Hey Blog Guy, it’s September 14th. This is the day you announce the coveted annual I Hope You’re Proud Of Yourself! award.

Yes, I’m sorry for the delay. I was all set to give this year’s trophy to the folks at that Tea Party presidential debate on Monday.

You mean those morons who shouted that an uninsured guy should just be allowed to die? Good choice, Blog Guy!

Not so fast. Then I read about Steven Levine.

Who?

Maybe you’ve heard about the various programs around the country such as Four Legged Advocates, in which very special dogs are used to comfort children who have to testify in court cases.

Obama’s golden opportunity?

Okay staff, we all know we’ve got a problem. The president isn’t as popular as he used to be. His numbers are down, and the Republicans are slinging mud. Anybody got an idea?

Uh, could he save a small child from a burning runaway freight train, Boss?

Hmmmm. Not bad, Lamar, but he’s done that twice already. I think he needs something different this time.

Hey Boss, it’s just a thought, but maybe it’s time to call in Brady?

BRADY! Yes! The incredible image-boosting golden retriever! That’s brilliant! Is Brady available?

Yeah, but you know Brady, he’s still making all those demands.

You’re a mean one, Mister Grinch…

Man, I hope this guy is proud of himself.

But let me back up a minute.

When I was a boy, there was a Disney movie about a plucky little terrier who went to Edinburgh with his master, who then died.  The dog kept a 14-year vigil at his master’s grave, passing away himself in 1872.

Watching this as a child required more tissues than I could even carry into the theater. The movie was called “Greyfriars Bobby, the True Story of a Dog.”

Since then, there have been other movies and books about Bobby. There is even a bronze statue of sweet Bobby in the cemetery, which I myself have visited in Edinburgh.

Now meet Jan Bondeson, a so-called historian who suddenly tells us the whole story was just a Victorian business stunt to make money.

Bondeson says the real Bobby was just a stray mutt bribed with food to stay in the graveyard, and that he really died in 1867 and was replaced by another “Bobby,” much like they did with Senator Strom Thurmond here for so many years.

Sit, Spot, it’s time for our conference call!

Regular readers know I seldom volunteer my personal opinions, which tend to be uninformed and moronic.

But just this once, I’m going to support a good idea that is coming up very soon.

Tomorrow is “Take Your Dog to Work” day. I’d rather work in an environment with dogs than in a dogless one, any day.

Oh, I’m not saying it’s the right move for everyone. If you plan on confronting riot police, you may want to leave the dog at home.

The same probably holds true if  you’re a brain surgeon, opera singer, test pilot, Mafia hit man or air traffic controller.

If your daily job involves rescuing disaster victims, helping folks with disabilities or generally making our world a safer and better place, then working with dogs may be something you already do every day.

I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore

Blog Guy, I come to you for all my news about the movie industry. I worry that the big stars are demanding so much money these days, Hollywood will just stop making new films. Is that a real possibility?

No, but we will see some serious changes. One studio has already begun making movies with pugs in the starring roles.

Pugs? You mean those funny-looking dogs?

Sure. They’ve just released a new spaghetti western with a pug in the role Clint Eastwood used to play.

Predictably, the hero dog is bound and whipped by the bad guys, but he escapes their clutches.

That sounds great! What’s it called?

And the second-best museum is…

Blog Guy, I’m having an argument with my piano tuner’s haberdasher…

My main purpose in life is to settle arguments. What is it?

We were trying to decide on the second-best museum in the world, next to your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop, which we both agree is number one.

Anyways, is number two the Metropolitan Museum of Art, in New York City, or the Louvre, in Paris?

Sorry, I’m not familiar with those. I’m sure they’re probably both okay.

WHAT? And you’re a travel writer? Then what would be your choice?