This is another in the popular series we call “Things Maybe we Should Have Explained in the Caption, but Didn’t.” Here we have a photo of a dude we’re told is a new police graduate in Iraq, demonstrating his skills by playing dead.

Huh? I don’t think they teach that class to police cadets here, and frankly I’m a little surprised there is a need for it in Iraq.  From what you read, you’d think the police over there would have other stuff to occupy their time.

“Yo Ron! The new duty roster is posted. Yep, you and I are both playing dead all week. Sweet deal, dude! We lie down for four hours, sit up and eat lunch, then lie down for another four, and then it’s off to the doughnut shop! Is this a great place, or what?”

Related post: Like they don’t have enough problems?

A new police graduate lies on the ground and plays dead during a demonstration of skills by new police graduates in Najaf, Iraq, April 24, 2008. Some 425 police cadets graduated on Thursday after three months of training at a police academy in Najaf. REUTERS/Ali Abu Shish

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We keep hearing that fashion models are too thin, but what exactly do they eat to fortify themselves for a demanding day of strutting and pouting?

Well, we photographed a meal backstage at a fashion show, and it’s illuminating. Models eat off an itty-bitty saucer that wouldn’t even hold a single pork chop or chili dog, heaped full of three tiny morsels that probably have curd or tofu in their name.

None of this really matters, because I’m pretty sure that thuggish guy is from Model Food Police, on his way over to knock the saucer out of her hand before she reaches her 22-calorie limit. Related post: The safest doughnuts on Earth

A model eats before Alexandre Herchcovitch’s 2008/2009 fall collection fashion show at New York Fashion Week February 2, 2008. REUTERS/Carlo Allegri

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If you’re like me, you don’t enjoy spending too much time around hand grenades. So when I see a photo like this, I am both amazed and curious at the wide variety. I guess grenades are kind of like doughnuts, where there used to be just one flavor, but now there are dozens. This has got to complicate life more than you’d like.

Our great journalists who cover that part of the world tell me this guy appears to have fragmentation, offensive and sound grenades, which is a lot to remember when stuff starts happening and you really don’t want to hurl the wrong kind. I hope they have an easy-to-follow Grenade Guide you can carry in your pocket, or maybe some helpful memory aids or something. 

“Let’s see,  if it’s brown, it’s for sound, if it’s bumpy, best be jumpy… Green! What rhymes with green!”

A policeman stands guard at the entrance of Imam Abbas in Kerbala, 70 miles south of Baghdad January 15, 2008. REUTERS/ Ceerwan Aziz

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Okay, I enjoy lame as much as the next guy, but sometimes there needs to be a line in the sand. An appropriate expression, by the way, because the subject here is a beach.

To qualify for a Guinness world record, somebody got 1,010 bikini-clad women together on a beach in Australia. Does that strike you as being difficult at all? I mean, women in bikinis! Where else are they going to be?

What’s next in this person’s relentless quest for the impossible? Seeing how many dark suits he can find at the FBI? Counting Krispy Kreme doughnuts at NYPD Headquarters?

Well, I’m personally limiting my coverage of this “event” to just my blog posting, a slideshow, and some video footage. Enough is enough.

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Women dressed in bikinis pose for a photographer on Sydney’s Bondi Beach September 26, 2007. REUTERS/Tim Wimborne

We have a video report that raises sort of a theological question. Who has done more good for mankind - the person who produced shoes festooned with precious gems to sell for $134,000 a pair, or the one who thought of guarding those shoes with a live cobra?

Yeah, it’s close, but I’m inclined to say the latter. The notion of a lethal deterrent has many handy home applications, especially in the area of dieting. I’ve now set scorpions loose in our potato chip drawer, put black widow spiders in our jar of Junior Mints, and let leeches run wild in the four places where we keep our jelly doughnuts. I also tried putting venomous snakes in with my Ben & Jerry’s, but they don’t seem too intimidating after a night in the freezer.

I’m off now to stuff wolverines into my nine-year-old Volvo wagon, to thwart thieves specializing in classic cars. Cindy Martin reports:

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I know it doesn’t seem too difficult to be a fashion show model. They glower and pout for no apparent reason. They walk to one end of a long ramp, turn around, and walk back. It’s hard to get lost.

But this unusual photo shows the dark side of the profession. this model, in a business that notices every ounce of weight she adds, is forced to look at fresh doughnuts while having her hair styled. Warm, yeasty, straight from the bakery. For all we know, it could even be worse. Maybe somebody is also serving a heap of melted cheese nachos, fried chicken, and hot apple crisp with French vanilla ice cream.

I don’t know about you, but suddenly it’s a whole lot easier to understand where those glowers and pouts are coming from. Cripes, it’s a wonder there isn’t gunfire.

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A model has her hair styled during New York Fashion Week September 7, 2007. REUTERS/Lucas Jackson

I love this photo. Hey you! London Fashion Week is in full swing, and I need you to run out for doughnuts for all the models. Let’s see, there are more than a hundred models here, so four doughnuts should be fine…

I mean, who are we kidding? One plain cake doughnut would probably feed them all, with plenty left over. Yesterday we had a file photo of models picking up slices of pizza, and they looked like they had never seen such a thing before. Do you know how long this same plate of doughnuts would last here in the Oddly Enough office? Forget about it.

Distributing junk food to fashion models may be the least demanding job anywhere. How do I apply for something like that? 

A woman carries a plate of doughnuts at British designer Preen’s Autumn/Winter 2007 show at London Fashion Week in London February 14, 2007. REUTERS/Kevin Coombs