Oddly Enough Blog

I want to propose a….yikes!

January 23, 2011

officials booze combo 490

Blog Guy, I have a question about politicians and alcohol. It seems like officials in other countries have a lot more freedom to drink than ours in the U.S. do.

How Blog Guy made the Naughty List

December 21, 2010

USA/

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse

night before smoke 220The stockings were waiting, but what do you think?

Santa decided to go for a drink!

“My life really sucks!” he told bartender Steve,

“It seems like I’m working on EACH Christmas Eve!

“My marriage is finished, my wife says I’m weird,

“She don’t understand me, she don’t like my beard!

“I think I’ll try freedom, I’ll give it a whirl!

“Perhaps I’ll end up with a cheerleader girl!

USA/“I’m totally serious! It isn’t a joke!

“I’ll tell you the best part, but I need a smoke!”

Then Santa went outside, now Dasher, now Dancer,

Too hammered to read the big warning of cancer,

The stump of his pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath

His cheeks were like roses, his eyes all a-twinkle,

He lurched to the men’s room, and stopped for a tinkle

GERMANY/As dry leaves before the wild hurricane fly,

He demanded another martini, dry

Then I heard him exclaim with his mouth like a potty,

“That fricking Blog Guy has been TERRIBLY naughty!

“I swear by my reindeer and each little hoofy,

“He’s been running photos of me that are goofy!

“I know who’s been good, and I know who has not,

“And on Christmas, that Blog Guy is opening squat!”

night before cheer 490

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Top: Participants in SantaCon Boston 2010, a gathering of people dressed as Santa going from bar to bar, drink at the Asgard Pub in Cambridge, Massachusetts, December 18, 2010. REUTERS/Brian Snyder

We’ll take a cup of kindness yet…

December 6, 2010

PORTUGAL/

Blog Guy, I recall that you have a problem around the holidays. You have too much Christmas spirit, and you’re always looking for ways to tone it down and restore your cynicism. Last year it was that souvenir statuette in Milan that finally did it for you. How’s it going this season?

Care for some more folk vodka?

September 20, 2010

BELARUS/

Blog Guy, you have access to news from all over the world, and you should do more to celebrate other cultures. As times change, we need to reflect on old values and traditions.

Would sober guys wear these hats?

September 18, 2010

GERMANY/

Hello Boss, sorry to bother you at home. It’s me, Gretchen. You hired me as a bartender, remember?

How drunk do you have to BE, Lamar?

August 25, 2010

So Doc, tell me. How did the operation go to remove that cyst? I feel great!

ODD-GERMANY/BULLETWell Lamar, surprisingly it wasn’t a cyst at all. It was a bullet, lodged right there in your head, I’d say for five or six years. You’ve been carrying it around all this time.

Those are some scary mug shots!

August 23, 2010

GERMANY/

Boy, it’s getting close now, Blog Guy! It’s almost Oktoberfest time in Germany. Will I see you over there?

Have a cold one, we’ve got you covered!

August 22, 2010

“Team, we’re here to brainstorm a brand-new Coca-Cola ad campaign, built around this new photo we found on that ODD Blog.

Thanks for auditioning, we’ll call you…

August 15, 2010

RUSSIA/

Blog Guy, I need some of your famous career advice.  I’m a dancer looking for work. Whenever I say I’m a dancer, people think I mean stripper.

Won’t this vacation ever end?

August 13, 2010

Lately, we here at reuters.com have been offering etiquette advice for a wide variety of social situations. You may have found our tips very informative, if you were raised in the wild by wolves.