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Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

January 15th, 2009

I’m drunk as a Peruvian janitor!

Posted by: Robert Basler

It turns out that Peru’s top court has ruled that workers cannot be fired for being drunk on the job.

I’ll repeat that, so it can sink in. Workers. Drunk as a skunk. Can’t be fired. In Peru.

It so happens that the guy in this court case was a janitor, but the government said two other workers they’ve fired for showing up drunk were DRIVERS.

So, how long until we hear from other professions wanting the same rights? I’m talking about air traffic controllers, dentists, SWAT team snipers….

And you know where this will end up? Somebody’s going to want the right to BLOG drunk!

Anyway, until this awful court decision is reversed, let’s all remember what they say: Friends don’t let friends work in Peru!

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Above: Peru’s President Alan Garcia shares a toast with the national drink “Pisco Sour” in Lima, in 2008 file photo. REUTERS/Mariana Bazo

Below: Man drinks wine during a bullfight at the Plaza de Acho bullring in Lima in 2007 file photo. REUTERS/Pilar Olivares

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December 12th, 2008

There’s eggnog in your hair, Claire!

Posted by: Robert Basler

Blog Guy, my mom gave me a huge crystal punch bowl. It’s lovely, but I don’t entertain very much. Should I just sell it?

No! Wear it! Punch bowl hats are going to be THE thing next season, as you can see in these fashion photos taken just yesterday.

They are quite versatile. You can balance them upright, wear them upside-down, or wear them at a jaunty angle.

I had no idea! I did use my bowl for a party last Sunday, so should I wash it first?

I would. Otherwise, old orange rinds and curdled clots of boozy eggnog and dried punch crud will stick to your hair and attract scalp-burrowing insects.

Well honey, it sure wouldn’t be the first time!

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A model presents creations by Indonesian designer Rusli Tjohnardi during Indonesian 2009 Trend fashion show in Jakarta December 11, 2008. REUTERS/Beawiharta

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December 2nd, 2008

Hit the trenches! Falling wenches!

Posted by: Robert Basler

Blog Guy, I was fascinated by your report from the Millionaire Fair. What else can you say about what those wacky rich people are up to?

It seems rich folks don’t like to go up to a bar for drinks, so now chicks drop upside-down from the ceiling to fill their glasses.

Bungee bartenders! That’s awesome!

There are still details to be worked out. All that swinging and swaying upside-down tends to give some serving wenches an upset stomach, which leads to some pretty surprised and disgusted rich people, if you catch my meaning.

Eewww! So, how do they crank the serving wenches back up?

With a wench winch, which they crank with a wench winch wrench.

That is SO stupid! That’s it. I’m out of here!

Fine. Be a wench winch wrench Grinch!

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A woman, suspended from the ceiling, serves champagne to a man at the opening night of the Millionaire Fair in Moscow November 27, 2008. REUTERS/Thomas Peter

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September 22nd, 2008

If it’s September, this must be Oktoberfest!

Posted by: Robert Basler

oktoberfest-2-0921-160.jpgBlog Guy, I saw a picture today from Oktoberfest in Germany. But it’s only September!

I believe it’s already October in Germany, because of the different time zones. So yes, they’ve started Oktoberfest, their world-famous festival of drinking, smoking and cleavage.

Sheesh, I guess the entire region must grind to a halt while they’re doing all that drinking and partying, right?

No, actually they’re also having elections. It must be strange to wake up all hung-over after election day, see all the empty mugs and ashtrays, and then scream, “WE VOTED FOR WHO?”

Oktoberfest Slideshow

oktoberfest-1-0921-360.jpg Oktoberfest in Munich September 20, 2008. Millions of beer drinkers from around the world will come to the Bavarian capital for the world’s biggest beer festival.

above: REUTERS/ Michaela Rehle

below: REUTERS/ Pawel Kopczynski

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September 10th, 2008

Politicians staggeringly well qualified?

Posted by: Robert Basler

Blog Guy, you’ve been making the point that no U.S. politician can hope to win without eating a lot of ice cream in public. But I suppose it’s like that everywhere?

beer-combo-this-one-300.jpg

There’s always something, but it isn’t always ice cream.

Take Germany. You see these politicians chugging beer from mugs the size of an oil refinery? Ten minutes from now they won’t remember what country they’re in.

If U.S. politicians got caught drinking like that, they’d have to join a 12-step program or go on Doctor Phil.

That’s a pretty funny cultural difference.

It’s not nearly as funny as the televised debate these folks are going to have in a few minutes.

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A combination of pictures shows Franz Maget, chief candidate of Bavaria’s Social Democratic party, Gabriele Pauli, candidate for the Independent Voters Association, Bavarian state premier (CSU) Guenther Beckstein and leader of Germany’s Free Democratic Party Guido Westerwelle as they drink beer at a folk festival in Abensberg, Germany, September 8, 2008. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle

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September 5th, 2008

This wine was made yesterday!

Posted by: Robert Basler

Blog Guy, I know you keep up with new technology.  I read that now they can determine the age of a wine by analyzing X-rays emitted when the bottles are placed under ion beams produced by a particle accelerator. 

Yes. Or, another way would be to just look at the label. After all, home particle accelerators take up valuable room where you could have another plasma TV.

wine-age-label-200.jpg

But I think the idea is this method shows if somebody has switched the wine in the bottle. 

Ah! I have often feared my corner wine shop is taking old 2005 Pinot Noir bottles and filling them with 2006 wine to get an extra $2.95 a whack.

Well, they could also be filling empty bottles of really costly wines with antifreeze, and the X-rays would reveal that.

You’re right! Because otherwise, I’d probably just keep drinking the antifreeze, thinking it was a 1787 Chateau Lafite. Darn you, corner wine shop! Sweetie, fire up the George Foreman particle accelerator!

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 wine-age-360.jpg

Herve Guegan, of the Nuclear Research Centre of Bordeaux, France, runs a test on a 1944 vintage bottle of Medoc wine on September 4, 2008. REUTERS/Regis Duvignau

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August 29th, 2008

Fräulein, would you hold these mugs?

Posted by: Robert Basler

oktoberfest-mugs-2-140.jpgBlog Guy, if I’m not mistaken, it’s time to unveil the official beer mug of the upcoming Oktoberfest. Could you please run a photograph of a couple of those big mugs?

Um, yeah, here. I apologize. It’s not as good as I would have liked, but if I’m not specific enough about what I want, the photographers sometimes clutter up the background with, you know, unbuttoned blouses and cleavage and stuff like that. Still, you can see the set pretty well here.

Yeah, thanks. I got no complaints.

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oktoberfest-mugs-360.jpgA model holds the official Oktoberfest beer mug in Munich August 28, 2008. The Oktoberfest, the world biggest beer festival, starts September 20, 2008. REUTERS/ Alexandra Beier

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July 15th, 2008

I could cut back to $3,200 a month for beer…

Posted by: Robert Basler

Blog Guy, you’ve given good personal finance advice in the past, and I need some help. I’m falling behind. Here’s my monthly budget. Am I wasting too much money on books?

  • rent $1,400
  • food $600
  • utilities $220
  • gasoline $310
  • beer $4,000
  • books $40

Um, let me stop you right there. Budget planners with a sharp eye for detail might suggest that $4,000 is a lot for beer every month. Of course I do know there is a precedent, this guy in Australia who was spending $972 a WEEK on beer, but it didn’t work out so well for him.

beer-australia-200.jpgMiss Universe 2004 Jennifer Hawkins, of Australia, poses for photo while visiting beer brewery in Pathum Thani province, Thailand, in a 2005 file photo. REUTERS/Chaiwat Subprasom

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June 23rd, 2008

Weird? Only if you’re a weenie!

Posted by: Robert Basler

sourtoe-300.jpgWe have a story on a travel Website’s ”Top 10 weird activities” for travelers seeking the outlandish.

Oh please, what bogus bushwah! Shrove Tuesday pancake races? Birthday party with Eeyore? In our sleep this blog has written about weirder places, most recently the new Enema Monument.

To be very fair, I’ll concede the Sourtoe Cocktail, where you have to sip a drink containing a preserved human toe. That IS weird. I’ll even give them Cafe Gratitude, a restaurant where I’m sure I would throw the waiters through a plate glass window.

But apart from those, I scoff at their weenie list and offer these ten items in no particular order:
“You must be joking”  tourist site opens

Hostel environment: gloom with a view

Travel to Hannibal’s home! Lock up the fava beans, boys!

“Stick my arm WHERE?” tourism

Here’s me at a former power station, here’s me at…

What happens in Rat Island stays in…

Organ museum? Sweetie, I don’t hear any music!

I’m not naked, I’m wearing a pumpkin!

Many are cold, but few are frozen…

Point the gun at me and look mad!

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June 19th, 2008

Her cups runneth over?

Posted by: Robert Basler

Quick quiz: you can tell if a woman has class if you offer to buy her a glass of wine and she says…

wine-3-180.jpga) Thank you, I’ll have a supple Margaux
b) Thank you, I’ll have an earthy Syrah
c) Thank you, I’ll have an overpriced Pinot Grigio
d) No thanks, hot-shot, I got me a brassiere full of cheap sweet red, right here!

Yes, female wine drinkers no longer have to bother with bottles and corks, they can just strap on this wine bra. And for guys, there is a wearable beer belly. It holds brew, and it also helps attract the kind of chicks that find a beer gut really attractive!

Of course, there may be that lingering notion that if you’re actually strapping alcohol onto your body maybe you have a little problem…

Belly/Bra Slideshow Other posts about drinks

wine-bra-360.jpgA couple poses with the wearable beer belly (Bierbauch) for men and the wearable wine bra (Getraenke-BH) for women in Ismaning, Germany, June 19, 2008. REUTERS/Michaela Rehle

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