Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

I could cut back to $3,200 a month for beer…

Photo
-

Blog Guy, you’ve given good personal finance advice in the past, and I need some help. I’m falling behind. Here’s my monthly budget. Am I wasting too much money on books?

    rent $1,400 food $600 utilities $220 gasoline $310 beer $4,000 books $40

Um, let me stop you right there. Budget planners with a sharp eye for detail might suggest that $4,000 is a lot for beer every month. Of course I do know there is a precedent, this guy in Australia who was spending $972 a WEEK on beer, but it didn’t work out so well for him.

beer-australia-200.jpgMiss Universe 2004 Jennifer Hawkins, of Australia, poses for photo while visiting beer brewery in Pathum Thani province, Thailand, in a 2005 file photo. REUTERS/Chaiwat Subprasom

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Weird? Only if you’re a weenie!

Photo
-

sourtoe-300.jpgWe have a story on a travel Website’s ”Top 10 weird activities” for travelers seeking the outlandish.

Oh please, what bogus bushwah! Shrove Tuesday pancake races? Birthday party with Eeyore? In our sleep this blog has written about weirder places, most recently the new Enema Monument.

Her cups runneth over?

Photo
-

Quick quiz: you can tell if a woman has class if you offer to buy her a glass of wine and she says…

wine-3-180.jpga) Thank you, I’ll have a supple Margaux
b) Thank you, I’ll have an earthy Syrah
c) Thank you, I’ll have an overpriced Pinot Grigio
d) No thanks, hot-shot, I got me a brassiere full of cheap sweet red, right here!

Open the safe, Mozart, this is a stick-up!

Photo
-

drawing.JPGI did a very popular item about a phrase book for folks  going to Austria for Euro 2008, to help get by in the local dialect. The guide is REALLY useful if you get a bit creative. Say you decide to rob a convenience store. By mixing up actual phrases from various pages, you can say:

“All by yourself? Do you have a safe? Give me the money!  Do you understand? Come on, you joker, let me get by!  I’m making a quick getaway! ”

Polo again today, Sir Rodney?

Photo
-

supporters-2-160.jpgDear Becky,

I read that two English soccer teams are playing in some finals in Moscow, and lots of fans are there.  

What an opportunity, since you’re studying in Moscow! We would be THRILLED if you met a British boy and began courting. The English are such  gentlemen! You’ll spot them easily. They will be wearing formal attire, and top hats or maybe bowlers.   

Are you crazy? Are you blind?

Photo
-

snl-120.jpg“Another gherkin for me, please…” Excuse me, I’m just practicing phrases to use in Vienna for Euro 2008, thanks to a guide for visitors who wish to try the local dialect.

Our story says the guide helps with ordering Austrian cuisine, flirting with local women, and other tourist situations. I hope the gherkin line is under food rather than flirting, because not all chicks would consider it a turn-on.

Bubbles and troubles…

Photo
-

racer-bottles-120.jpgIt’s time for yet another edition of “Things Maybe We Should Have Explained in the Caption, but Didn’t.” We see this race driver sliding along a river of champagne, and our caption just says he “slips down from the podium as he celebrates finishing second place.” This raises questions…

- Shouldn’t a real race driver be able to stand on a podium?

- Was this just another of those champagne tragedies, which mortify thousands of athletes every year?

Frolic in the fizz, Liz!

Photo
-

mentos-300.jpgBlog Guy, it was so interesting to learn about those bidet things in your blog recently. You give your readers a genuine feel for other cultures. It made me wonder, do they take showers in Europe the same way we do here?

They do shower, but it’s different. They get hundreds of people together, and everyone drops some mints into bottles of cola. This creates a shower that drenches them in fizzy froth.

Yeah baby, Toilet Paper Guy is on a roll!

Photo
-

toilet-face-120.jpgOh cripes, Charlene, it’s him again! We call him Toilet Paper Guy. Don’t let him see us! He comes to this bar every Friday, wearing that outfit made of toilet tissue and paper towels. That’s what I’m looking for, a man that can’t afford fabric!

“His pickup lines are the worst! He calls himself the ‘quicker picker-upper,’ you know, from those ads. Last week he asked if I wanted to squeeze the Charmin. I was like, ‘No way, dork!’

Do you have the May issue of Nose-Picker?

Photo
-

valentino-200.jpgFrom Moscow, news that some billionaire is starting a magazine named Snob. I’m serious.

This is a turning point in publishing. If he can market directly to our worst character flaws, watch out! We’ll see slick, glossy magazines like Big Jerky Butthead, and Wanton Hussy.  Subscribe to Town Drunk, and get a year of Stupid Blabbermouth, free!