Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
What’s wrong with this picture?
Blog Guy, I’ve been seeing photos of well-armed rebels in Yemen in recent days, and I notice a lot of swollen cheeks. Are those plucky lads in need of major dental care?
No, don’t worry about that. These guys are just getting stoned on a leaf called qat.
According to Wikipedia, qat contains an amphetamine-like stimulant which is said to cause excitement and euphoria.
But…but…but… That one guy is holding a huge honking rocket-propelled grenade! Should he be doing that?
Oh, don’t worry, it’s no worse than giving Ozzy Osbourne the keys to a fully-armed battle tank.
But you wouldn’t DO that!
Fashions for a more forgettable you…
Blog Guy, I need some of your famous fashion advice.
I’m in a business I’d rather not name, but it’s in my best interest for certain people not to be able to find me. Am I clear so far?
I’ve seen nothing, I’ve heard nothing.
Good, I guess you’re smarter than you look in your photo.
So anyway, I like to look fashionable, just like anybody on the run. Where can someone like me go for low-profile high fashion?
I’ve got the perfect place for you. Medellin, Colombia.
i could really see Lindsay Lohan sporting one of these, then popping out from behind the masks so everyone knows it’s her….
Giant black cloud? How bad could it be?
Blog Guy, I wanted to follow up on an item you had a few days ago, about that gigantic 300-acre “marijuana plantation” that was found by soldiers in Mexico.
I was just wondering if it’s possible to rent the plantation for nature study trips. Or fraternity parties.
Nice try. It’s already gone. We have subsequent pictures of troops burning all those crops.
Nooooooo!!!! I mean, gosh, that seems like a waste. All 300 acres of weed, up in smoke…
If it’s any consolation, it produced a monumental smoke cloud, hundreds of miles big, drifting out over the Pacific Ocean.
Krasnoyarsk: where the air quality rating has a whole new meaning. Code Munchie coming up!
If you think reading the blog is fun here, wait ’til you read it there. And then try to say Krasnoyarsk ten times wihout giggling…
High times on the old Marijuana Plantation
Okay, here’s some interesting news. Turns out soldiers in Mexico have just discovered a huge “marijuana plantation” in the middle of a desert.
The thing covers 300 ACRES, which means the Shuttle astronauts have probably seen it from space, and yet it came as a real surprise to these local troops.
Incredible aerial photos show a gigantic patch of green, surrounded by sand. What did everybody think was growing there, cilantro?
I mean, it’s big enough to be called a PLANTATION, for Lord’s sake. That’s like Tara, and people KNEW about Tara!
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Say pal, do you have a restroom here I can use?
Hmm… had forgotten you used the “high time” pun in your headline. Oh well, I thought I’d take a crack at it anyway.
Letting the qat out of the bag…
Blog Guy, I read with interest your item about the goofy protesters in Yemen. You know, the snake-biters, the bread-heads and so on.
So have they made progress since they started getting goofier? I’ve seen plenty of photos of angry crowds over there.
Not really. See, those shots are taken in the morning, when there’s plenty of rage.
Only in the morning? What happens in the afternoon?
According to our stories, the people go off and get stoned on a stimulant leaf called qat, which more than half of Yemen’s population chews daily.
It’s the reason why they seem a lot more mellow as the day wears on. It’s also the reason they look like Popeye the Sailor, with bulging cheeks full of green glop.
Nosmo, Talk about some twisted statistics! Now I think I’m confused – or maybe it’s just the extra sprinkles on that last donut.
OK – in my best Nixonian impersonation; no wait, it’a an Obama-ism. Drat, now I know I AM confused – at any rate….Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Upwards of 90 percent of men in Yemen chew the stuff regularly but only 10+ percent of women in Yemen chew the stuff regularly.
Clear as qat now, right?
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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It’s not the Qat, it’s the brand spanking new uniforms. Wonder who’s paying for that?