Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Nine ways to lose weight and live forever

Photo

People say to me all the time, “Bob, your blog is SO stupid, how do you get people to read it?”

These folks don’t understand how online journalism works. You can write anything you want, and if you put a good headline on it people will read it. Especially if you hint at immortality, easy weight loss or better sex.

If your headline offers a numbered list, that’s even better. The best thing of all is a moderately clever play on words, which will attract people who think they are smart, and improve your demographics.

Toss in a photo of a nice dog or the Duchess of Cambridge, and it’s a hit.

Nine things I’ll miss most about this blog

Photo

Let’s get the sad news out of the way first.

After an exhilarating five-year run, this blog is ending its run here. Websites change, and take new directions.

The slightly better news is that we have a couple of weeks until my final post, so let’s have fun.

Hey, I never said I’m proud of myself!

Photo

Blog Guy, I’ve just started a new blog, and I could use some advice from a veteran like yourself. What do you do if you want to get a lot of traffic, but you don’t want to work very hard for it?

That’s called cheap pandering to readers with click-bait, and blogging professionals don’t do it.

Say “I’ll be back,” Duchess….

Photo

Blog Guy, it’s me, the one you got hooked on pictures of Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge.

I’ve told you, I got a lot of people hooked on her, with my “first one’s always free” policy.

Peel faster if you wanna be president!

Photo

Blog Guy, I’ve been trying to get a job in the exciting outdoor food service industry, and there aren’t any. Do you know why?

Of course. Politicians and celebrities are taking all of them.

Yes! That’s what happened to me! I tried getting work peeling potatoes in Ireland, and they gave the position to a presidential candidate, instead!

Meet the Duchess of Holiday Weekends

Photo

Blog Guy, it’s me, the guy you got hooked on photos of that duchess

I guess that narrows it down to about nine million guys.

I need fresh pictures, but the last time I asked, you gave me a duchess made of butter and a chick with gross fingernails. So this time, I’ll be clearer.

No names, please.

Okay, um, she’s a duchess, she got married recently and she’s a member of a royal family… Is that enough for you to go on?

Not that duchess, the udder one…

Photo

Blog Guy, it’s me. I’m back and I need a fix. You’re the one who got me hooked.

Hooked? Oh, you mean….

That’s right, I need fresh pictures of a certain duchess, if you catch my meaning.

The duchess, the chimp and the corn dog

Photo


This blog’s August statistics are in, and once again, patterns are starting to form which will allow me to do a better job of reaching my audience. It’s all in knowing how to read the results.

Of the 10 most popular items, two were about politicians eating corn dogs, three involved very cute animals and two more featured Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge.