Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Best of all, there’s nothing to tuck in

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Hello Mr. Henderson, I’m Jimmy. I’m here to take your daughter out.

FASHION-SPAIN/What? My outfit? It’s the latest thing. I bought it right off the floor at a major fashion show.

Yep, this beauty is part of the Fall/Winter collection. I suppose I should add a hat during the winter.

Oh please, Mr. Henderson, NOBODY wears shirts anymore! Don’t be so bourgeois!

See, without a shirt it’s much easier to reach these two shoulder holsters here. That’s a real plus when the police come after me.

How would you like to meet this bozo?

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elephants zimbabwe 490

Blog Guy, whatever happened to your Dumbass of the Month? You haven’t given the award for some time now.

I know, sorry, but I am in a position to name one for February.

ELEPHANTSReally? But it’s only February 3.

Yeah, but no one is gonna beat this guy.

It seems some hunter whose dream was to shoot an elephant has sued a travel company after it sent him to a part of Africa where he said there were no elephants to be found.

Now, the new hit TV series, “Luger Town”

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GERMANY-HITLER/BODYGUARD

Blog Guy, we’re a whole month into 2011 and you haven’t spotted any new signs of that onrushing Apocalypse. Does that mean we’re out of the woods?

Far from it. I’ve just seen a very serious sign, but it’s so disturbing I’m still in shock.

The most popular holiday isn’t Christmas?

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december panda 490

Since I’ve already revealed this blog’s most popular items for all of 2010 it’s going to be a bit less dramatic to list the top 10 for December, but I’m required to do it for those of you who wager on the results.

MOROCCODecember readers shared my personal appreciation for the truly absurd, especially a program to prepare panda cubs to return to the wild by dressing their human handlers as pandas, and a U.S. Navy project that is so bizarre I’m not even going to describe it here.

A great year to be a dumbass!

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PAKISTAN/

As you may have noticed, 2010 was quite a year for dumbasses.

It seems like they were everywhere. Celebrities, sports figures, politicians, and just regular dumbasses as well, the kind who might live next door to you.

dumbass sheen 240Until recently the victims of widespread discrimination, dumbasses now seem to be not only accepted, but even in vogue. Look at any “talking head” news show on TV.

Sales from the crypt…

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What is the matter with people?

I mean, please. This year, we saw somebody buy Bernard Madoff’s underwear and John Lennon’s toilet. Elvis Presley’s toe tag was briefly on the market, until there was a dispute over who owned it.

oswald coffin 240 verticalAll of these ghoulish transactions were clear signs of the onrushing Apocalypse, and yet they somehow pale by comparison to an auction a few days ago.

Hey Billy, you’re gettin’ out of hell!

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Blog Guy, I need your help. I have too much important stuff on my mind lately, and I need something to think about that is totally irrelevant.

PARDON/BILLYTHEKIDI mean, this needs to be so inconsequential that after I think about it, I’ll feel dirty just for wasting my time on it.

Do you have a flare for stupidity?

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SOCCER-EURO/

Blog Guy, me and others like me are being discriminated against. We’re dumbasses, and we don’t think there are enough ways for us to express ourselves these days.

I have to disagree there, ace. From where I sit, opportunities for dumbasses have never been greater.

It’s festival time, round up some poor animals!

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SPAIN/

I hate to get serious here, and I promise I won’t make it a habit, but WTF?

SPAIN/In the past couple of days alone, we’ve had pictures from a festival in Spain where they attach flaming torches to a bull’s horns, as well as photos and video of a bull leaping into the stands and injuring dozens of spectators at a different event in Spain, where “young boys run before the bull trying to avoid being caught.”

Wolfing down those free samples?

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Blog Guy, I’m going out to lunch. Wanna come along?

Thanks, I ate already. Spicy Peanut Chicken Kebabs with Satay Sauce, and Blue Cheese with Roasted Pecan Dip, over at Trader Joe’s.

GERMANY/

Yummmmm! That sounds great! Trader’s has a restaurant now?

Nah, you know, they put out those itty-bitty paper cups with free samples for shoppers to try.