Hello Mr. Henderson, I’m Jimmy. I’m here to take your daughter out.
What? My outfit? It’s the latest thing. I bought it right off the floor at a major fashion show.
Blog Guy, whatever happened to your Dumbass of the Month? You haven’t given the award for some time now.
Blog Guy, we’re a whole month into 2011 and you haven’t spotted any new signs of that onrushing Apocalypse. Does that mean we’re out of the woods?
Since I’ve already revealed this blog’s most popular items for all of 2010 it’s going to be a bit less dramatic to list the top 10 for December, but I’m required to do it for those of you who wager on the results.
As you may have noticed, 2010 was quite a year for dumbasses.
It seems like they were everywhere. Celebrities, sports figures, politicians, and just regular dumbasses as well, the kind who might live next door to you.
What is the matter with people?
I mean, please. This year, we saw somebody buy Bernard Madoff’s underwear and John Lennon’s toilet. Elvis Presley’s toe tag was briefly on the market, until there was a dispute over who owned it.
Blog Guy, I need your help. I have too much important stuff on my mind lately, and I need something to think about that is totally irrelevant.
Blog Guy, me and others like me are being discriminated against. We’re dumbasses, and we don’t think there are enough ways for us to express ourselves these days.
I hate to get serious here, and I promise I won’t make it a habit, but WTF?
Blog Guy, I’m going out to lunch. Wanna come along?
Thanks, I ate already. Spicy Peanut Chicken Kebabs with Satay Sauce, and Blue Cheese with Roasted Pecan Dip, over at Trader Joe’s.