Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Ma, Dwayne’s dressin’ like a sissy again!

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Blog Guy, you write a lot about bullfighting. What’s the stupidest thing about that so-called tradition?

It’s a close call, but one thing that comes to mind is the montera.

SPAIN/The Mitsubishi? Really? Bullfighters drive mid-size SUVs?

No, that would be a Montero. The montera is the beanbag hat they wear.

The idea is to make the most obnoxious face humanly possible as they adjust the beanbag just before the bullfight. Here, look at these guys above. Who would you root for?

The bull, of course. I see what you mean. So does this give you any ideas?

Indeed it does. Instead of being angered by red capes, I think we need to train a whole new generation of bulls that get annoyed by those goofy hats and pompous faces.

Think about it. Both hands are busy and the matadors are concentrating on their obnoxious looks. It’s the perfect time for a sudden charge.

Merry Christmas, Charlie!

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USA/

Normally I wouldn’t bother being snarky about actor Charlie Sheen and his ongoing problems with the law. It’s just too easy.

He pleaded guilty this week to assaulting his wife, and was sentenced to drug and alcohol rehabilitation. You may recall Sheen was arrested after his wife told police he pulled a knife on her and threatened to have her killed last Christmas.

Getting bored with getting gored?

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Blog Guy, I was surprised to find that Pamplona Running of the Bulls thing started several days ago. Usually you dump all over it in your blog. Don’t you care about animals anymore?

I do care very much, but from the coverage I’ve seen this year, I’m cautiously hopeful that some improvements have been made. For example, it looks like they are using fake bulls on wheels, instead of being needlessly cruel to real animals.

Could any bull resist that face?

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SPAIN/

Blog Guy, I really admire your attitude. I read your blog every day, and you have something nice to say about everyone. I just wish I could have such a generous heart. How do you do it?

GERMANY/The trick is to have inner fricking peace. I mean, you need to realize that every human being is one of God’s creatures, and that…  OMG! Look at that dumbass bullfighter!

Gosh, isn’t this a pretty dumb thing to do?

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Blog Guy, the company I work for is having one of those motivational retreats for employees. We’ll face up to our fears, grow as a person, stuff like that. Have you ever been to one of those?

Yeah, I’ve been to a few. For a long time I had a very low opinion of them. I saw them only as corporate bull. Time-wasting, jargon-slinging crapfests for losers who can’t think for themselves.

Let’s meet some World Cup fans!

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SOCCER-WORLD/

Blog Guy, you haven’t had much to say about the World Cup. Why didn’t you go to it and blog from there?

SOCCER-WORLD/Are you kidding me? I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my seat would have been right between these two imbeciles.

Happy Father’s Day to dads everywhere!

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PAKISTAN/

Welcome back to a regular feature we like to call, “What Year is this Again?” in in which we offer up news items which cause us to question whether we may have gone back in time.

PEOPLE-JACKSON/Here, in a photo I had figured for about 400 BC but which turns out to have been taken just four days ago, this guy is holding his FIVE-MONTH-OLD SON over a crocodile.

Puff faster, I need to change your diaper

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Blog Guy, it’s Memorial Day! Isn’t that when you announce your coveted “Why Isn’t This Person in Jail Award?”

smoking baby 340Yes, what a good memory you have.

That’s a longstanding tradition in this blog that began way back, well, today… May I have the envelope please?

Did anybody else feel a bump back there?

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Well readers, it’s May 20th, time for me to announce the coveted Dumbass of the Month Award. The winner is…

maradona car 1 260Wait, Blog Guy, there are still 11 days to go in May. This hardly sounds fair.

The winner is Argentina soccer coach Diego Maradona, who ran over a cameraman while on his way to name the members of his squad for the World Cup finals.

Make way for the Montreal Dumbasses!

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“Yo, Lamar! Our team just won a hockey game! Let’s celebrate!”

“I have an idea, Lonnie, let’s be total dumbasses and loot a liquor store!”