Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Seinfeld, a show about bupkis…

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Blog Guy, you have the most authoritative entertainment news anywhere, so I’m coming to you first about something I heard.

There’s a rumor that my all-time favorite sitcom, “Seinfeld,” is coming back to TV next season. Any chance it’s true?

Basically, yes. They’re shooting it now, with Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus reprising their original roles.

That’s GREAT! I can’t wait to see what they…. Hey, wait a minute. What about Kramer?

Hire me! I can be a better vetter!

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Hey Blog Guy, I don’t get out very much. Can you explain what these guys in this picture are doing?

Yes, the caption says they’re vetting dancers before the opening of an Erotica show.

Keeping away from the Kardashians

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Blog Guy, I’m a fed-up, angry American. Enough is enough!

What can we do to protect our country from those tawdry, horrid people? I see them everywhere now. I think you know who I’m talking about.

You must mean the Kardashians?

Of course! They’re everywhere! Now the mother has written her “memoirs,” and that daughter that got married like a week ago has already filed for divorce. How many of them are there, anyway?

The Runway’s Got Talent!

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It’s the same old story, Lamar. We’ve got a major fashion show today, but we can’t afford to pay professional models. You always manage to come through with models on the cheap. Any luck?

Don’t worry, Boss, I got us a good group today, and they’re free.

FREE? Huzzah! But how did you work that?

Oh. Well, they’re under the impression we’re having a reality TV talent show, so they each get to do a little “act” on the runway.

Pushing shakes for a sheikh?

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OMG, Blog Guy! A few days ago, in an item about Paris Hilton helping open a shopping mall in Poland, you said, “Coming soon, Kim Kardashian appears at a milkshake bar opening in Dubai,” and here she is!

Who would have thought you were serious about that?

Come on, it wasn’t hard to predict. I mean, the woman was married less than two months ago, she is thought to be the highest-paid reality star on television, so why wouldn’t she go to Dubai to promote a milkshake bar? It just makes sense.

I left my part in San Francisco?

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Blog Guy, I always come to you for my news about the movie industry. What’s my favorite actress, Halle Berry, up to these days?

She’s shooting a movie on location in Glasgow, Scotland.

Ah, so I guess this is another Glasgow movie that’s SUPPOSED to be Philadelphia, like that Brad Pitt zombie movie you wrote about recently?

I think they all come from Cooperstown

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Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my handyman’s numismatist?

Oh please! More random bets between unlikely random professions? What does this coin collector say?

Well, I saw that CNN journalist Anderson Cooper speaking in Orlando on Tuesday evening, but my handyman’s numismatist claims he saw Cooper on the same evening, speaking in Boise. Which one of us is right?

Coming soon, the Sound of Stupid…

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Blog Guy, I just heard about an exciting project involving your blog. Can you confirm it?

Yes, the last two years of my blog postings are being released as Blogs on Tape, so folks can listen to them in the car, on dates, during court arraignments, whenever.

It’s even more magical than I remembered!

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Sure, Doctor, I had a great childhood! I did all the usual stuff. Why do you ask?

It’s just a routine question we ask in therapy, Blog Guy. What is your very best memory of your early childhood back in Indianapolis?

It’s just like in the disaster movies!

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Boss, can you hear me? It’s me, Johnson! Oh, it’s still night-time in LA? Sorry to wake you up, but I’ve got great news!

You remember you sent me to scout around for the next big “King Kong” sort of movie?