Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
Seinfeld, a show about bupkis…
Blog Guy, you have the most authoritative entertainment news anywhere, so I’m coming to you first about something I heard.
There’s a rumor that my all-time favorite sitcom, “Seinfeld,” is coming back to TV next season. Any chance it’s true?
Basically, yes. They’re shooting it now, with Jerry Seinfeld, Jason Alexander and Julia Louis-Dreyfus reprising their original roles.
That’s GREAT! I can’t wait to see what they…. Hey, wait a minute. What about Kramer?
Well, that’s the new twist. Kramer is out. Instead of New York City, the other three live in Israel, and their wacky neighbor across the hall is President Shimon Peres. I’m telling you, the stuff those guys get up to…
I have to say, Blog Guy, that sounds to me like a VERY different show.
Hire me! I can be a better vetter!
Hey Blog Guy, I don’t get out very much. Can you explain what these guys in this picture are doing?
Yes, the caption says they’re vetting dancers before the opening of an Erotica show.
Excuse me? They’re doing what?
You know, they’re watching exotic dancers, to make sure the audience won’t go blind or spontaneously combust or anything like that.
That’s an actual JOB?
Sure, but Exotic Dance Vetting is tougher than it looks, because the minute the vetter seems to be enjoying it, he’s fired.
So these are the dudes responsible for all the salmon bars, huh? Shame on them.
Keeping away from the Kardashians
Blog Guy, I’m a fed-up, angry American. Enough is enough!
What can we do to protect our country from those tawdry, horrid people? I see them everywhere now. I think you know who I’m talking about.
You must mean the Kardashians?
Of course! They’re everywhere! Now the mother has written her “memoirs,” and that daughter that got married like a week ago has already filed for divorce. How many of them are there, anyway?
Wikipedia says there are 652, but I agree it seems like a lot more. Kardashians breed rapidly and have a short gestation period.
You can buy software to filter them out of your Internet feed, but in a few years, when we have U.S. President Kardashian, that will become problematic.
now you followers of this bunch of uneducated money grubbing egotists see exactly what you have been so entranced by. these people betrayed their fans with the sham wedding of kim to the tall goofy guy. do you think bruce kardashian enjoyed playing the village idiot in this ploy?
The Runway’s Got Talent!
It’s the same old story, Lamar. We’ve got a major fashion show today, but we can’t afford to pay professional models. You always manage to come through with models on the cheap. Any luck?
Don’t worry, Boss, I got us a good group today, and they’re free.
FREE? Huzzah! But how did you work that?
Oh. Well, they’re under the impression we’re having a reality TV talent show, so they each get to do a little “act” on the runway.
What? What the hell kind of “acts” do they do while modeling our designs, Lamar?
Uh, Tiffany will break out in a little tap dance. It’s very impressive to see in her stiletto heels, Boss.
Ahh… I can’t be on Facebook at work, that’s the problem. 
Pushing shakes for a sheikh?
OMG, Blog Guy! A few days ago, in an item about Paris Hilton helping open a shopping mall in Poland, you said, “Coming soon, Kim Kardashian appears at a milkshake bar opening in Dubai,” and here she is!
Who would have thought you were serious about that?
Come on, it wasn’t hard to predict. I mean, the woman was married less than two months ago, she is thought to be the highest-paid reality star on television, so why wouldn’t she go to Dubai to promote a milkshake bar? It just makes sense.
But if she craves attention so badly, why doesn’t she launch a fragrance, like Jennifer Aniston and Katy Perry and everybody else did?
Get with the program. Kim already launched a fragrance, four months ago.
I missed that. What about Paris Hilton, then? Can we expect a fragrance from her?
Maybe Kim Kardashian wants to be part of the Escape Club.
I left my part in San Francisco?
Blog Guy, I always come to you for my news about the movie industry. What’s my favorite actress, Halle Berry, up to these days?
She’s shooting a movie on location in Glasgow, Scotland.
Ah, so I guess this is another Glasgow movie that’s SUPPOSED to be Philadelphia, like that Brad Pitt zombie movie you wrote about recently?
No, this is a Glasgow move that’s supposed to take place in San Francisco.
Wait a minute, Blog Guy! I understand suspension of disbelief as much as the next person, but how can the same Scottish city pass for Philadelphia AND San Francisco, which don’t look anything alike? What about San Francisco’s dramatic hills?
I understand all the movie cameras are being tilted to a 45-degree angle, to simulate the hilly streets. Also, they’ve altered Glasgow’s billboards to say stuff like, “Try haggis, the San Francisco treat.”
Halle Berry lies over the ocean
Halle Berry lies over the sea
Halle Berry lies over the ocean
She’s starring in a movie, you see
San Fran, San Fran, San Fransisco in Glasgow
San Fran, San Fran, San Fransisco in Glasgow
I think they all come from Cooperstown
Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my handyman’s numismatist?
Oh please! More random bets between unlikely random professions? What does this coin collector say?
Well, I saw that CNN journalist Anderson Cooper speaking in Orlando on Tuesday evening, but my handyman’s numismatist claims he saw Cooper on the same evening, speaking in Boise. Which one of us is right?
You both are, sort of. There are at least 14 Anderson Cooper robots, with more being added all the time, so there are often multiple sightings in the same day. I believe the real one mostly sits at home and makes model airplanes.
Really? But the one I saw was so life-like!
They all are. Cooper himself shows up for the measurements and pre-production fittings.
). i dont like them much
Vietnam visa on arrival
Vietnamese cooking
Coming soon, the Sound of Stupid…
Blog Guy, I just heard about an exciting project involving your blog. Can you confirm it?
Yes, the last two years of my blog postings are being released as Blogs on Tape, so folks can listen to them in the car, on dates, during court arraignments, whenever.
That’s great! I know it’s important to get the voices right on these audio things. Who are you using?
We assembled a stellar audio team. Actor George Clooney does Blog Guy. Here you can see him cracking up during a recording session, trying to deliver the line, “What do I look like, an ornithologist?” He just loved the material.
Wow, that’s quite a coup! And the all-important voice of your sidekick, Lamar?
That would be Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, seen here playing off of Clooney’s straight lines with his over-the-top wacky rejoinders.
It’s even more magical than I remembered!
Sure, Doctor, I had a great childhood! I did all the usual stuff. Why do you ask?
It’s just a routine question we ask in therapy, Blog Guy. What is your very best memory of your early childhood back in Indianapolis?
Well, for a big treat, our folks would take me and my sister to Lamar’s Fun-o-Rama and House o’ Horrors! It was every child’s dream come true.
Good, Blog Guy. Now close your eyes and tell me more about Lamar’s. What do you see?
Gosh, I see the dazzling neon lights, the merry-go-round, the ferris wheel, the calliope, the cotton candy, the clowns, the….the…
The what, Blog Guy?
Haha…ladylala, he does actually look a bit like Fidel lol
It’s just like in the disaster movies!
Boss, can you hear me? It’s me, Johnson! Oh, it’s still night-time in LA? Sorry to wake you up, but I’ve got great news!
You remember you sent me to scout around for the next big “King Kong” sort of movie?
Well, I’m here in the Philippines, of all places…. They’ve “captured” this huge honking 21-foot-long crocodile which has already attacked several people.
Get some film crews out here right away, Boss, I have a feeling this one is gonna pop soon. I’m watching ‘em right now, moving the “captured” croc.
The team leader couldn’t be bothered to stop smoking long enough for the historic photo, but then in fairness, lung cancer is going to be the least of his problems. He’s about to drop ashes on the croc’s hood.
The “guard” with a rifle is zoned out, trying to remember the third verse to “MacArthur Park…” The Croc Mover they’re using is made of logs, and was state-of-the-art in the 12th century. Its axle is about to break, and the croc is tied down with flimsy knots that look like some Boy Scouts lost interest and went off to make s’mores.
a humble haiku
prehistoric dile
personnel dazed & confused
what a croc of sh**
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Resident Oddly Enough blog Expert
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I have seen a few episodes of Seinfield and I liked what I saw..
Really liked Jason Alexander’s character.. he made me laugh quite a lot, and yes ofcourse Kramer.
But like they say, all good things must end.