Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Happy New Year from Nicole Kidman and me!

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Wow, Blog Guy, another year down the toilet. And what a goofy year it was.

I’ll say!  I was talking about that with my blog staff at our holiday party, which as you can see was quite a glamorous affair…

BRITAIN/

What do all those people on your staff do anyway, Blog Guy?

Lots of stuff. They scour the world for odd pictures and video and stories for me. I mean, what did you think, that junk just comes to me on some machine?

BRITAIN/Well, no….

As a result of their great teamwork, in 2009 this blog got more page views than ANY OTHER Reuters blog! And we have dozens of popular blogs, written by some really smart people like Felix Salmon and James Pethokoukis.

Salmon? Pethokoukis? You just made up those names, right?

Maybe, but the part about me getting the most page views is true. And a Facebook Blog Network with more than 5,000 members, too.

Clawing, cloying, most annoying: cats in the news!

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“Bob, I’m disappointed. Your blog used to have great coverage of cat news, but you seem to be ignoring them these days so you can write about cheese and fashion.”

You make a fair point. I’ve reported too little cat news lately.

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Let’s see. President Barack Obama has criticized “fat cat bankers” – an image which cats find extremely offensive, by the way.  And, we have a shot of the Kitty Nativity, over there in France.

Sing it LOUD, George!

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Blog Guy, I want to get in on that fantasy service you have for readers. Got any money left in this year’s budget?

Yeah, but it’s going fast. what do you want? Hurry up!

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Um, um, okay, I wanna see actor George Clooney singing that Carley Simon classic “You’re So Vain.” Can you arrange that?

Thanks for joining, even if you didn’t mean to!

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Bob, you certainly seem to be in a good mood this morning. What’s up?

I am indeed. This week, my Oddly Enough Facebook Blog Network got its 5000th member. That’s pretty amazing. It’s at the top of the Humor, Pop Culture and Weird categories.

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Wow, congratulations! What do you think appeals to people most about your blog?

Oh, I think these are mostly folks who joined by accident, thinking they were ordering cheap medication or online lunch meat or something, but still, here they are.

Gosh, I thought she’d look happier….

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kate hudson face 240Folks, this is our last logistics check before the gala premiere of our movie in London’s elegant Leicester Square, just minutes from now.

We’ve got HUGE superstars coming for this thing, and they need to be pampered!

Appreciating other cultures….

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Blog Guy, you seem to think you’re an entertainment blogger, but all you cover is American stuff. Other countries DO have movies and television as well.

I happen to know the German Bambi media awards were held recently. How about paying some attention to those?

Look, the ballerina is spinning and hacking at the same time!

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Blog Guy, I saw a photo of a ballerina smoking, which really disturbed me. I think of everything having to do with ballet as being healthy and squeaky-clean.

You couldn’t be more wrong. As an art form, classic ballet makes rap look like gospel singing. At least this ballerina is smoking backstage. Until fairly recently, dancers smoked and took swigs from vodka bottles while dancing onstage.

More gratuitous Victoria’s Secret shots?

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Blog Guy, don’t get me wrong. I love the fact that you post fresh stuff on Saturdays and Sundays, and I enjoyed learning about balloon animal makers and naked hokey pokey this weekend.

Thanks. But?

Well, I thought maybe if you used a few more gratuitous photos from the big Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show in New York it might artificially pump up your weekend numbers. I know it’s a cheap trick, but times are hard.

Kids, who wants to swing the cleaver?

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Blog Guy, I’m looking to hire an entertainer for my daughter’s fourth birthday party. Can you recommend somebody who makes balloon animals? I want the very best.

Sure. I’d go for this guy in China. Look how good he is.

What the hell is he making there?

Uh, I think that’s his famous Yellow Earthworm with Green Scales.”

Blog Guy, you’re a dolt. That man is a chef. He’s cutting cucumbers with a sharp cleaver on a balloon, to show his technique.

Get naked for the hokey pokey!

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Blog Guy, help settle an argument with my wife. What’s the most popular dance? I say it’s the tango, but she says it’s the samba. So? So? Which is it?

You’re both wrong. It’s the naked hokey pokey. Haven’t you noticed the proliferation of naked hokey pokey dance clubs and cable shows?  Where do you live, Wyoming?