Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

If superstars went to the bathroom…

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According to the founder of the World Toilet Organization, the reason people are so reluctant to talk about hygiene is that it isn’t cool. He may have a point.

Television and movies show us what’s cool, and they don’t show toilets. Sure, Fonzie frequently checked out his hair in the bathroom, but you just saw a mirror.

All of this could have been different if the toilet lobby had gotten into product placement early on.

Imagine the coolest characters in movie history. What if…

    Dirty Harry emerged from the men’s room to blast the punks, waddling with his trousers around his ankles… The last line in the immortal “Casablanca” was, “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Stop a sec, I gotta wizz…” In “The Great Escape,” Steve McQueen escaped the Nazis by pulling his motorcycle into a rest stop and slipping into a men’s room stall. The iconic quote was: “Bond, James Bond. You got a crapper I can use?”

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And the final sign of the Apocalypse is…

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Blog Guy, you’ve written a lot in past years about your Christmas spirit and holiday mood, and this year I feel the same! Merry Christmas! What a joyous season! Eh?

Oh, I don’t know…

What are you talking about? It’s your favorite time of year! I thought nothing could dampen your spirit!

I’ve seen the captain somewhere before!

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Blog Guy, my favorite actress is Marcia Gay Harden. Why isn’t she in more stuff?Because Marcia divides her time between acting and her real love, working as the captain of a luxury cruise ship.WHAT?We caught up with her this week in New York City, aboard the Carnival Dream, tooting the horn, dropping the anchor and stuff, charting a course for Louisville or someplace like that.Blog Guy, are you out of  your fricking mind? She’s just there to promote a new cruise ship. That’s it.You know, that’s what I thought at first, too. But look at the caption. It has one of those NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS warnings on it.So, why would they bring in a famous actress and then not be able to use the pictures for anything? No, I’m sticking with my original guess, that she’s the captain.Blog Guy, do you always just “guess” at the so-called news you print here?No, not always. Sometimes I just make it up completely.

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Actress Marcia Gay Harden dons Carnival Dream Captain Carlo Queirolo’s hat while touring the ship’s bridge in New York City, November 12, 2009. Harden presided over ship’s naming ceremonies for the new ship. REUTERS/Ray Stubblebine/ Carnival Cruise Lines/HO) FOR EDITORIAL USE ONLY. NOT FOR SALE FOR MARKETING OR ADVERTISING CAMPAIGNS

More stuff from Oddly Enough

Just another topless model?

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Blog Guy, my girlfriend gave me a gift certificate for my birthday, and I’m treating myself to some nice new duds. I wanna be right up there with the latest fashions. What should I get?

That’s simple. Shop around for a nice shirt, and then don’t buy it and don’t wear it. Just go out shirtless.

Agriculture culture in the paddy, daddy!

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Welcome back to our regular feature, Stuff Maybe we Should Have Explained in the Caption, but Didn’t.

Our full caption for this photo, which you may read below and which I did not tamper with, tells us this pianist is performing during a concert in the middle of a rice paddy in Taiwan.

Pre-minstrel syndrome?

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All de world am sad and dreary, Ebry where I roam, Oh! darkies how my heart grows weary, Far from de old folks at home

Welcome back to our feature, “What Year is it Again?” in which we take a look at photos and stories that make us think it may still be the 20 century, or the 19th, or maybe even the 15th century.

Wearing your chandelier, dear?

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Quick quiz: This photo shows…

a) The risk of letting tall people browse in light fixture shops

b) What happens when a dimwitted assistant is told to create a “bandolier.”

c) A woman who has begun the controversial medical procedure to turn herself into a 1991 Cadillac Fleetwood

Pamela Anderson and her little dress child…

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Observant readers will note that actress Pamela Anderson seems to manage only a cruel sneer, one that reaches out and says, “Come here and I’ll kill you!”

I believe my blog was the first to report that Anderson’s face is doing weird things these days, but that isn’t what’s going on here.

Drive! They’ll get out of the way!

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Okay, staff, now you’ll see why we’ve kept our newest movie release under wraps.

We think it’s going to be the surprise smash hit of the holiday season. Who can compete with “Hugo and Muammar’s Excellent Adventure”?

Doo-doo doo-doo, Doo-doo doo-doo…

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In American pop culture, If you want to point out that we’re not in Kansas anymore and that things are happening way beyond your understanding, you only need to repeat a tiny snippet of sound, and people still get it.

It was exactly 50 years ago tonight that Americans tuned in to get a first glimpse at a TV show called “The Twilight Zone.”