Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

On the Evo Destruction….

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Blog Guy, I saw some Reuters photos billed as Evo Morales in Spain. She’s really put on some weight, hasn’t she? I mean, I used to think she was gorgeous, but…

She? Spain? I think you’re looking at pictures of  EVO Morales! He’s the President of Bolivia. You can see him down below.

Oh, I was looking for that actress from “Desperate Housewives.”

Well, that’s EVA Longoria. She would be someone different. You can see her over on the right, with Senator John McCain and his wife.

So the “Desperate Housewives” are moving to Bolivia?

No. You just wait here, I’ll be back soon.

Also, I don’t get your Evo Destruction headline.

I’m not too surprised.

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Above: Senator John McCain talks with his wife Cindy (C) and actress Eva Longoria Parker (L) in Phoenix. February 15, 2009. REUTERS/Lucy Nicholson

Lookit the Nasdaqs on that chick!

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If you’re like most guys, hearing about the global financial meltdown makes you think about naked chicks. Then again, if you’re like most guys, hearing about tapioca pudding make you think about pretty much the same thing.

From my Department of Bad Taste, a famous cabaret in Paris offers a number called “Crisis,” where women lose their shirts, and nearly everything else, in the market plunge.

The head is loose! I get the goose!

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As an amateur anthropologist, I’ve spent years studying leisure activities in unfortunate parts of the world where – okay let’s be blunt – they don’t get American cable television.

I’ve found that this lack leads local cultures to settle for pitiful pastimes, like singing dingos and sofa races.  But nowhere are the ravages of TV deprivation as pathetic as they are in a place I like to call Spain.

Major movie star goes nuts?

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Blog Guy, I’m a huge fan of actor Michael Douglas. Any news about him?

Sure. He’s gone totally insane. Bonkers. Mental. Deranged. Nutsy.

Wow! Do you like have deep sources at a mental hospital or clinic or something?

Nah, I’m just looking at his hair from when he showed up for a movie screening in New York yesterday. Does that look like a sane guy’s haircut?

Well no, it doesn’t, but that’s your only evidence?

No. A couple of months ago he started lurking in bushes, and saluting people even though he’s not in the military. As you can see below, I have photos to prove it.

Kabul-Capades, coming your way!

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Blog Guy, I read about a vocational training program for Afghan citizens. It sounds so strange I don’t even want to repeat it here…

I suspect you mean the Kabul-Capades, an ice skating extravaganza the U.S. is putting together so Afghanis will have real jobs after the war. As you can see, the basics of a good routine are being taught even before they put on skates.

Scarlet hussies save men’s souls?

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Blog Guy, you know where you can find really loose chicks?

Uh, no.

New York City. Yeah, it surprised me, too, but lots of those women in stiletto heels smoking outside office buildings aren’t as prim and proper as you might suspect.

That sure surprises me, but why are you bringing this up?

Because amid this wanton cesspool of harlots and floozies and doxies, I met two angels yesterday.

Oh, you’ll pay me all right, it’s Mandytory!

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Blog Guy, I’m very worried and I need your help. I read this article about expensive performers you can hire for weddings and parties. Like for just $1.5 million, I guess you could have Amy Winehouse sing at a child’s birthday party.

Yeah, if you’re not trying for the “Parent of the Year” award.

Did you SEE that dude hit the cement?

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I have trouble figuring out why some things are news. Readers know I’m confused about why we keep shooting identical photos of Madonna and her car in dozens of cities, as though we’ve never seen it before.

Then there’s this French so-called “daredevil” who climbs skyscrapers all over the world. Today he climbed a Petronas tower in Malaysia and was taken into police custody, which usually happens. Then, a couple of weeks later, he’s at it again, scaling a building somewhere else, only to wind up in custody again.

Just get a frickin’ pencil, Debbie!

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If you’re like me – and I’m sorry if that’s the case – then you get frequent queries like this one via Facebook. It seems that Debbie Somebody wants to put my birthday on her calendar. Is that okay with me, it asks?

Sure, I guess so. I mean, Debbie probably wants to remember to get me something nice, maybe even have a surprise party for me.

Me and Herbie go to the Derby in our Old Kentucky Home

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Blog Guy, you follow the European music scene closely. I heard Bono blew them away in London on the U2 world tour.

Yes, but the real star of that show was Erik Tysse, the warm-up act from Norway. Erik came out of nowhere to do a Susan Boyle sort of show-stopper, singing ”My Old Kentucky Home.”