Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Father’s Day salute to Bad Dad!

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Happy Father’s Day, Blog Guy! What’s the thing that makes you think most about fathers and sons on this special day? Baseball? Fishing?

Television. Especially classic TV, when Dad came home from the office in a suit and kept it on until bedtime, and maybe didn’t even take it off then. To me, nothing says father like a scripted dad getting paid to love his pretend kids.

This week, there was an event reuniting make-believe good TV dads and former child actors. But it ignored the more interesting bad dads, like Tony Soprano, Archie Bunker, Homer Simpson…

And there’s Bryan Cranston, a mediocre father in “Malcolm in the Middle” and now, in “Breaking Bad,” a dad who makes and sells major supplies of crystal meth. Gee Dad, you’re the greatest!

Me Tarzan, you embarrassed!

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Blog Guy, it’s a rainy Saturday where I am. Hit me with something stupid. And I mean this had better be Grade A stupid!

Okay, how about this video from a Paris exhibit all about Tarzan.

I’m a bit wary of that. How do I know I won’t learn something?

Trust me. Nobody will ever learn anything from my blog. If you want to learn something, read the story. This video just shows how you can try out your own Tarzan yell.

Movie legend’s Persian version?

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Blog Guy, I know you closely follow the film industry. What’s Steven Spielberg’s next blockbuster?

Well, of course he put his movie projects on hold in recent months while he campaigned to become President of Iran. But now it looks like…

Stand up, Mr. Spector. Oh, sorry!

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Well, Madison Avenue gets screwed again!

Below, you can see photos of music legend Phil Spector released by corrections officials, without any of his numerous wigs, as he begins a sentence of 19 years to life for the 2003 murder of an actress.

But WAIT! The caption warns that these photos can’t be used for advertising campaigns.

Indiana Obama and the Bail-Out of Gold!

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Mr. Spielberg, I know we didn’t plan to make any more Indiana Jones movies, but this opportunity is just too good to pass up.

Forget about Harrison Ford. We’re recasting the part with – are you ready? – President Barack Obama!

He shoots! He doesn’t score!

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Blog Guy, explain something to me. I shot game two of the NBA Finals last night, and I had all the great action shots – Kobe Bryant, Courtney Lee, Pau Gasol – but my editor wouldn’t use any of them.

What did I do wrong?

You just never listen, do you? How many shots did you get of Leo?

Leo?

Leonardo DiCaprio! That’s the guy you want to shoot at the Lakers games! Look at these classic basketball shots in this combo, all taken at different games! Do I have to tell you everything?

See ya later, Mr. Vader!

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Blog  Guy, I’m suspicious of my next-door neighbor. He doesn’t look normal. He dresses all in black.

Maybe he’s one of those Goths?

I don’t think so. I’ve tried talking to him, and he sounds kind of like that guy with the deep voice who used to say “Welcome to Bell Atlantic.”

Come back out, Susan, we’re not done yet!

Blog Guy, you haven’t written anything about that singer, Susan Boyle. After she didn’t win “Britain’s Got Talent” she was admitted to a London clinic, and I want to know what’s going on there.

Why?

When something touching and beautiful happens to someone, I want to make sure it doesn’t last long, and that they pay for it by being hounded to the gates of eternal hell until the day they die.

Here comes Jerry’s tongue again!

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Blog Guy, I heard there was some kind of financial disaster involving your Goofy Face Museum and Doughnut Shop.

It’s horrible. We spent a huge portion of our 2009 acquisition budget for the photo on the right of comedian Jerry Lewis mugging in Cannes this week. We were told this was the only Jerry Lewis goofy face shot in existence.

Who died and made YOU Queen?

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Blog Guy, Since you seem to be writing about television these days, are you following the great Showtime series, The Tudors?

You bet! I don’t know how the writers keep coming up with these twists. How many wives do you think that dude is gonna HAVE before it’s over, anyhow?