Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

No Wonder!

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Blog Guy, it seems like you used to have a lot more stuff about Stevie Wonder. I heard he was honored at the White House yesterday, so why don’t you have a picture of the event in your blog?

That’s a fair point. Here you go.

Um, not to complain or anything, but that’s just a couple of doors.

Those aren’t just ANY doors. Those are White House doors with Stevie Wonder on the other side of them. You just lack imagination. Concentrate on those doors, and you can practically hear him….

“You are the sunshine of my life…”

This is so moronic. Why are you doing this?

Cost-cutting. If I don’t actually show him, I don’t have to pay royalties. Try to focus. “For once in my life, I have someone who needs me…”

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Members of The President’s Own United States Marine Band listen through a door as musician Stevie Wonder performs during a ceremony honoring him for the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize at the White House, February 25, 2009. REUTERS/ Jim Young

Put your mask and knife in the bin, Ma’am…

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Blog Guy, I’m a huge fan of super heroines and I’m wondering what else is on the horizon from that genre.

Plenty. There’s a good new season coming up. Here’s a publicity still from NBC’s “Amazon Woman!”

What do you suppose that BACKSTAGE sign means?

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Blog Guy, I read a story that said you have to be really smart to be a fashion model, and that most of the good ones have an IQ over 140.

Is that right? Maybe you should look at these photos from New York Fashion Week. They show models being SHOWN how to get to the backstage area. I guess that can’t be an easy place to find, what with it being right in back of the stage.

Angela, stifle yerself, ya dingbat!

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Blog Guy, I know how you feel about remakes of the classics, so you’re gonna hate this. I heard they’re planning to revive the classic ’70s sitcom “All in the Family.”

It makes my blood boil. This all came about because German Chancellor Angela Merkel expressed an interest in doing the Edith Bunker role. She’s been doing Edith schtick at her news conferences, just to show she’s nailed it.

Slow dancing with important dudes

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A couple of weeks ago I had a blog item about dancing presidents. It has now come to my attention that a lot of the current and former powerhouses in Washington love ballroom dancing, and have some kind of a formal cotillion.

They belong to the “So you think you can Govern and Dance?” club, which seems to be a bit male-dominated.

Lord of the flies?

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Quick quiz: You’re superstar Brad Pitt. Let’s say you are going to have an unfortunate wardrobe malfunction in the vicinity of your trouser fly. When would you want it to happen?

a) Right when you’re breaking up with Gwenyth Paltrow

b) Right when you’re breaking up with Jennifer Aniston

c) Right when you’re breaking up with Angelina Jolie

d) While you are posing for 620,000 press photographers to promote an Oscar-nominated movie.

Mommy, it’s MICKEY! No, not the mouse!

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Children, gather round. It’s time you learn what happens to BAD boys and girls.

We know you hide your Brussels sprouts under your dinner plate, and you hate old Aunt Corinne who smells like Noxema. We know you sneak out at night and run with scissors and try to start the Buick.

It’s lovely weather for a clayride together with you!

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Blog Guy, whatever happened to Gumby after his long career as an entertainer?

I think you’ll be very surprised. My private detectives have tracked the reclusive clay figure to China, where he now works pulling a rickshaw.

No way!

Way! Oh, he’s matured a bit, gotten tan from the outdoor work, grown a mustache and often wears a straw hat to cover that head hump, but it’s the same dude.

Eat right, and exorcize daily!

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Blog Guy, can you explain why Joe the Plumber is messing with an unconscious woman in these photos?

That’s not Joe the Plumber.

Oh. Is it that guy on The Shield?

No. It’s some parapsychologist who communicates with spirits.

How does he know she has spirits?

If you look carefully, you’ll see she’s wearing black underpants. That’s a sure sign of evil spirits.

Reflecting on celebrities…

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Blog Guy, I’m in love with Victoria Beckham. I think she’s gorgeous. Can you please post a picture of her?

Sure thing. Here she is in Milan yesterday. Enjoy.

Um, I hate to complain, but what in God’s name is that?

It’s Victoria Beckham, behind a tinted window with her hands in front of her face and the reflection of a denim jacket or something.