Oddly Enough Blog
News, but not the serious kind
I love it when real news stories are goofier than anything I could make up. It makes my job so much easier.
There is a United Nations ban on the sale of luxury goods to North Korea, see, and we’ve learned that Italy has foiled an attempt to violate that ban.
No, they were trying to get their mitts on “high-quality tap dancing shoes.” I am not making this up.
Blog Guy, will you please set up one of your famous fantasy photos for me?
Well, I want to be in it myself. I’ll be in a train station…
Already I don’t like where this is going.
See, this gorgeous brunette – like Kate Middleton, only much prettier – dressed all in black, with stiletto boots, roars up on a big red BSA Spitfire and stops to let me on the back…
I’m gonna stop you right there, Ace. Let me take a wild guess. You’re over 60, you’re losing your hair and you’re no Brad Pitt. Am I right?
Hey Blog Guy, can you please settle a bet with my haberdasher’s fishmonger?
Oh sure, even when I’m on vacation, which I am now, I’m always happy to take time out to settle bets with folks from randomly obscure professions.
Great, thanks! So we were wondering, who has the most deformed back in the history of entertainment?
So who’s got an idea for us to pitch? Lamar?
Well Boss, the public just can’t get enough of those crime scene forensic science shows.
Blog Guy, it’s been three whole weeks since you spotted the most recent sign of that onrushing Apocalypse. Can I bring my family out of the panic room now?
Not just yet. Were you aware that Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi, from “The Jersey Shore,” spoke at Rutgers University recently and the school paid her $32,000?
Sit down, Joe, I need to have a little talk with you.
Sure Boss, what is it?
I’ve heard reports that some of our lookalikes are fraternizing with the cutouts. I think you know we have a strict policy against that.
I can’t help myself, Boss. She’s just so tempting.
Then maybe you’re not cutout to be a lookalike, Joe.
But Boss! I’m the poster boy for lookalikes!
Well, you are a dead ringer for a dead player, I’ll give you that.
I sure am, Boss. I’m the – haaaaaarrrracchhhhhh – spitting image!
Thank you for calling International Department of Festivals, how may we help you?
Well, our little town doesn’t have any kind of an annual festival to attract tourists. We’d like to get in on the action, so I thought I’d check with you to see what’s available.