Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

I’m not a princess, but I play one on TV

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kate actress combo

Blog Guy, it’s me, the dude who’s addicted to Prince William’s fiancée, Kate Middleton. I need another fix.

Sorry pal, she hasn’t been out in public recently. I can’t help you.

You must have something. You’re the one who got us all hooked. I need it real bad!

kate crop 260I was afraid of this. Okay, here are pictures of an actress and actor starring in a TV movie next month called “William & Kate.” Does that  help at all?

Two and a Half Morons?

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series combo 490

Faithful readers of this blog know that I have pitched some high-concept ideas for movies and television shows in the past, stories like The Love Market! and that extra bonus season of “24.”

NBA/Surprisingly, Hollywood has kept me at arm’s length, mostly through restraining orders, but that will change when they see my latest treatment for a TV sitcom.

I’ve got you, under my skin…

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CHILE/

Blog Guy, I really love that actress Julia Roberts. I think she’s so cool that I got a huge honking tattoo of her on my chest. Do you want to write about me?

tattoos roberts 280Not unless you get about 80 more of them. Then you could match this newspaper vendor in Chile, who already has 82 of them and plans to get more.

Maybe you can believe it, if it helps you to sleep…

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OBAMA/

Blog Guy, I think I’m going mad! I woke up this morning and the radio was saying something about a “U.S. President Taylor.” Who the hell is that?

president taylor 300Where have you been for the last two years, buddy? They were talking about President James Taylor.

The Oscar for Best Picture goes to…

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AUSTRALIA

Blog Guy, the Oscars are this weekend. I hope you’ve stockpiled lots of movie photos so you can cash in on the extra Internet traffic.

You bet I have. I’m loaded for bear and ready to roll, as you can see from this picture at the top.

The Fall of the House of Ushers?

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BRITAIN/

Blog Guy, what’s wrong? You’re looking very puzzled. Disoriented. Confused. Perplexed. Dumbstruck. Flustered. Even more than usual.

usher vertical 180Yes, I’m very bothered by this top photo. The caption says these are ushers at the Royal Opera House, in London.

You ever try flossing, Catherine?

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zeta jones 490

“Michael, hold still so I can see myself in your fancy sunglasses. Do I have something between my teeth? I can feel it…”

FASHION-MICHAELKORS/“Ewwwww, Catherine! I told you not to have that spinach quiche for breakfast! Cripes! There’s a huge chunk of green stuff hanging out of your mouth!”

There’s something about a man in uniform

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OSCARS/

Quick quiz: The resplendent full dress uniform seen above, with blue lapels, gleaming buttons and rank stripes on the sleeves, will be worn by…

oscars raccoons 260a) the commander of the Sri Lankan navy.

b) members of the Raccoon Lodge.

c) Britain’s Prince William at his upcoming wedding.

d) waiters at a party for the Oscars.

Don’t feel bad, this one fooled me, too. These are indeed specially designed uniforms for waiters at the Governors Ball, part of the Academy Awards festivities.

There were no floats? I didn’t notice!

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BRAZIL/

Okay, it seems a large fire swept through Rio de Janeiro’s Carnival center this week, “destroying thousands of costumes and floats and throwing preparations for Brazil’s annual festival of hedonism into chaos.”

BRAZIL-CARNIVAL/I know this is a serious thing. They work pretty hard all year long on that stuff, and Carnival starts in three weeks.

Yeah baby, I used to be famous!

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BRAZIL/

Psssssssssst! Blog Guy, it’s me!

elephant man japan 180Wally? My old roommate from the Witness Protection Program?

No, you dimwit, I’m The Elephant Man! I was famous when my movie came out, back in 1980, and I’d like some of your fashion advice. I want to start hitting the singles bar scene, but I need a hip wardrobe.

Ah, that empty oat bag over your head and the stupid floppy cap aren’t making it any more, huh?