Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Hey! You’re that guy from Uruguay!

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Blog Guy, you seem to have the best sources of anybody covering entertainment these days.

twins combo vertical 200I was wondering what happened to that actor who played Detective Sipowicz on the series NYPD Blue? You remember, he won lots of Emmy Awards and the show ran for years, but then it ended and I haven’t see him since.

Sure, you’re talking about the great actor, Dennis Franz. There were rumors a few years ago that he was going to marry Paris Hilton.

Well, did he marry her?

Nope, they realized just in time that that would make her Paris Franz.  So instead, Dennis moved to Uruguay and became a successful musician.

It’s time for celebrity toes and ankles!

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NBA/FINALS

Blog Guy, I’m a HUGE Christina Aguilera fan. I know she sang the National Anthem at a Lakers game a couple of days ago, and I’m hoping you can run a picture of her. Please!

Sure thing, here you go, that photo on top. She’s looking nice, huh? I guess she…

Gosh, it looks like they’re really flying!

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COLOMBIA/

First, let me thank you all for coming in to audition. Looks like a great group of actors here.

hooks woman 240You will all be trying out for parts in our edgy new play, Peter Pain.

Excuse me Mr. Director, I think there’s a typo here. Don’t you mean Peter PAN?

Got two heads? Come to headquarters!

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Blog Guy, somebody told me about a very special school in Shenyang, over there in China. It sounds so bizarre I don’t even want to repeat it here. Do you know what I’m talking about?

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Yes, you’re talking about the Shenyang Qianjin school, which admits only children with two or more heads. Their motto is, “Two heads are better than one.”

Comin’ to you, on a dusty road, good lovin’, I got a truck load…

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Blog Guy, I always read your blog for the latest information on movies. There’s a rumor that they are remaking a 30-year-old classic. Any truth to that?

Yes, I think you’re talking about the remake of “The Blues Brothers.”

Bring me that one, the SAUCY wench!

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JAPAN/

Blog Guy, I have a problem. I love giving dinner parties, but I don’t have enough storage space in my kitchen for all of my pots and pans and cooking utensils. What should I do?

JAPAN/You’re in luck. There was just a fashion show that addressed this very need, for chefs who are under your kind of, uh, strain.

It only comes with a license to injure?

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Blog Guy, I saw a story saying the famous Aston Martin that James Bond used in “Goldfinger” and “Thunderball” is going up for auction.

You’re too late. I actually had the winning bid. I got every guy’s fantasy car!

Best of May: stormy weather and bygone romance

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It’s time for the official statistics revealing this blog’s most popular items for May, and I’m proud to note that readers didn’t just go for cheap yuks, they went for the high-class stuff, too.

CANADA/Like for instance, my hard-hitting piece on the Census folks’ search for secret apartment houses, and the one about increasing food supply by growing rice in brassieres.

Quick, Indy! Jump into my pocket!

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Blog Guy, please help settle a bet with my yoga instructor’s dental hygienist.

USA/How on earth did you even MEET the dental hygienist of your yoga… Oh never mind, I’m here to settle bets. What’s this one about?

Out on a limb with Lindsay Lohan?

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Why me, Lord, why ME?

Okay, film production staff, as you know, we signed Lindsay Lohan to a huge three-movie deal and we’re about to begin production. Then, yesterday, a judge ruled that she has to wear this big black butt-ugly alcohol monitoring device on her ankle, 24/7, to make sure she doesn’t drink any booze. It NEVER comes off.

lohan vertical 200So Lamar, hand me those three scripts she’s supposed to start shooting next week. I’m hoping this bracelet device won’t interfere with the story-lines.