Oddly Enough Blog

News, but not the serious kind

Keeping tabs on the abs, Babs…

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SOUTHAFRICA/

Boss, We got trouble. BIG trouble!

What is it THIS time, Lamar?

SOUTHAFRICAOne of the male models got confused and wandered out on the runway almost naked. I think the women in the audience are gonna be pretty offended.

That’s awful, Lamar! They may get the vapors and faint. Is he wearing ANYTHING?

Sure, a tiny pair of underpants. Oh, and an itty-bitty bracelet. That’s it.

That’s enough, Lamar. Underpants and a bracelet together, we can call that a “creation.”

Are you wearing an AWNING, Lamar?

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TRINIDAD/Okay marketing staff, we’re riding the wave now!

Our recent decision to sell more fashions by inventing new items and creating a demand for them has paid off in solid gold with the Rube Tube and the Skanktop, but we’re not stopping there.

Ladies and gentlemen, I now give you the first wearable art.

It’s a colorful piece of canvas for men, with lots of straps and buckles, and you can wear it, sleep under it or hang it on the wall.

Just head for the sea, Lee, and dress like the Klan, Stan…

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FASHION/Blog Guy, my husband has a fashion problem, and I’m hoping you can help. See, he’s in the Klan, and…

Let me stop you right there. The Ku Klux Klan?

Sure. The Knights of the Ku Klux Klan. You know, the KKK.

Then he has a lot more than a fashion problem, lady.

See, there it is, that attitude! Your blog has given fashion help to  zombies, smurfs, firing squad victims, train robbers, satyrs, gladiators’ wives, but you draw the line at this, in spite of the Blogger’s Code.

Tased and confused?

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confused models combo 490

Okay fashion show staff, what the hell went wrong today?

Judging from the pictures of our presentation, the models were confused about which way to go, so they just stood there looking perplexed. The runway route must not have been made clear. Lamar, I blame you.

BRAZIL/Jeez, boss, if you look at this wide-angle shot you’ll see we marked the runway with thick black and white stripes. All they had to do was follow a straight line, then turn around and follow it back!

Are you an optometrist or a pessimist?

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eye test combo 490

Blog Guy, I am one  American who is sick and tired of dehumanizing medical procedures. My own pet peeve is the eye exam.

Really? The EYE exam? That’s what bothers you?

eye test 340Sure. Read those letter. Ooooh, sorry, you got them all wrong. Either you’re stupid or you need glasses.

Unveiling the Rube Tube

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Okay marketing staff, times are hard. People aren’t buying enough of our regular fashions, so we have to invent NEW articles of clothing and create a demand.

BRAZIL/Now have a look at this brand-new thing here, for guys.

It’s like the opposite of a tube top. It covers your abdomen, but shows off your chest. It’s like a shirt, only different.

Bring me that one, the SAUCY wench!

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JAPAN/

Blog Guy, I have a problem. I love giving dinner parties, but I don’t have enough storage space in my kitchen for all of my pots and pans and cooking utensils. What should I do?

JAPAN/You’re in luck. There was just a fashion show that addressed this very need, for chefs who are under your kind of, uh, strain.

Your feet smell like rotting corpses, Ed!

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I see we have a story offering etiquette tips on how to dress for the office during the summer. This helps me a lot, because my “office” is in my home. My coworkers are two dogs and two cats, so I’m afraid my dress code may be slipping as the heat rolls in. I need some good advice.

summer dress feet 490

“Sandals are iffy for men. Be sure your feet look and smell appropriate for business…”

Proposing to the decomposing…

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fashion floaters combo this 490

Blog Guy, I’m a guy with an unusual problem. My buddies and I live in one of those towns where the men really outnumber the chicks, and we don’t know where to go for brides. There just aren’t any women.

Now, what you actually mean is, no LIVE women, right?

SPAIN/Um, yes, that’s kind of implied, Blog Guy.

Bear with me here. Maybe you’re being a little too picky. There was a fashion show in Barcelona just this week, catering to the bridal needs of the dead.

A different sort of Georgia peach?

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fashion georgia this 280Blog Guy, I was wondering. Where do the fewest women get married?

You know, I mean like which country has the highest percentage of  what we used to call “old maids” before we became enlightened?

That’s easy. it’s Georgia.

No, I said COUNTRY.

Georgia IS also a country. It’s over there in Europe somewhere. See how the women look, dressed in black, very plain-looking, with skinny arms and huge hips?